Two Girls and a Guy

You got a problem? Me?

No, I ain't got no problem.

Take a good look. Does it

look like I got a problem?

## Yeah. It looks to me

like you got about 350 problems.

You better get your eyes checked,

'cause I ain't got no problems.

Matter offact, around here, I'm

the one that makes the problems.

Oh, I'm scared. I'm just standing

here checkin' you babes out.

Why don't you go down to the

supermarket and checkyourselfout first?

You're a tough little

cookie. I like that.

But you know what? A little smack

will straighten you right out.

How about that? Who's gonna do

the smacking... you and what militia?

Listen, you stuck-up little

b*tch... No, you listen, dick face.

My boyfriend's gonna

be here any second.

Lfyou're still here when he comes, you're

gonna want to run as fast as you can.

Only then it'll be too late.

You're such a tiger. I love that.

Fuckyou and your pink shirt and your

pathetic suit. Hey, a**hole!

Carol! What are you doing here? I thought

you were going to the tanning salon.

I am. I am. I was. I wasjust.

You were. You are. You just.

I wasjust giving these tourists

directions. Come on, baby.

You know I love you.

Directions for tourists, my ass.

You think those girls mean anything

to me? Goddamn weasel. F***in' a**hole.

Men. Am I right or wrong?

- They serve their purpose.

- I'm not complaining.

I've got the greatest

boyfriend in the whole world.

But the way I look at it, most guys are like

thatjerk than they are like my boyfriend.

By the way, my name's Lou.

It's short for Louise.

My father wanted a boy, so he made everyone

call me Lou. The namejust kind ofstuck.

What's yours?

Carla.

Are you kidding?

No.

My best friend in third grade

was named Carla... Carla Naksenhoff.

What's your last name?

Bennett.

- Bennett... great name. Bennett.

- It's English.

I've been to London before.

Twice actually.

Once to dance and once with my boyfriend

for two days. He was giving a concert.

That's why I'm here. My

boyfriend lives in this building.

Do you got a boyfriend?

Sort of.

- What does he do?

- He's an actor.

- Get out! Like mine!

- I thought that yours was a musician.

- You said he gave a concert in London

or something. - Not that kind ofconcert.

More like mixed-media. He sings, he

dances, he acts, he does stand-up.

He's a real

entertainer... like Liza Minnelli.

- So what do you do?

- Design.

- Female Calvin Klein, huh?

- We're in the same field, but I'm not...

You're not nearly as famous. I'm going

to be famous one day. I just know it.

My boyfriend promised me

that as soon as he makes it,

he's going to cast me as his costar

because we're so good together.

But you never know.

I may make it first.

Then I'll have to cast him

as my costar... if I'm in the mood.

Just kidding.

He's actually really talented.

I'm notjust saying that.

He has a way with words.

He could talkyou into buying

a house without a roof.

Sounds irresistible. That's

what he is. He's irresistible.

People cannot resist him.

I bet you've seen him on TV.

He's had guest spots

on NYPD Blue and Homicide.

And he did The Garry Shandling Show

twice. He was totally hilarious.

He's read personally for

Barry Levinson and Don Simpson.

Simpson was gonna give him

a lead in this romantic comedy...

that his new production

company was gonna do,

but then he died and...

Are you okay?

Blake Allen.

Yeah. Th-That's...

That's his name.

- Who are you?

- His girlfriend.

I'm his girlfriend.

American Airlines, Flight 11.

Right.

So, you mean that you came here

to surprise him too?

Oh, my God.

Looks like he's gonna get

a lot bigger surprise...

than either one of us

was planning on giving him.

Just one minute.

I'll buzz you in!

# You give your hand to me #

# And then you say hello #

# And I can hardly speak #

# My heart is beating so #

# And anyone can tell #

# You think

you know me well #

# Mmm, you don't know me #

# No, you don't

know the one #

# Who dreams ofyou

at night #

# And longs

to kiss your lips #

# And longs

to hold you tight #

# To you I'm just a

friend # Welcome home.

# That's all

I've ever been #

# Mmm, you don't know me #

"You Don't Know Me" No

wonder it's his favorite song.

It should be his anthem.

Notice anything different?

That's where my picture

used to be. It still is.

It is? When?

When you're here.

Did he ever tell you

this was the first time...

he put anyone's picture on

his piano besides his mother?

Yes. He said it made him feel

that I was physically with him.

In front of him and inside

him at the same time.

Maybe we should just wreck his

whole f***ing apartment right now.

I'd ratherwreck him.

That's a really good idea.

But how?

Should we... Should

we stab him? Too quick.

A**hole.

Creep.

Scumbag. Did you really love him?

Yeah, I did.

Did you?

I told him I did,

and I thought I meant it.

Who knows? I felt something. Emotional?

More.

More?

More than I felt for

anyone else. Different.

Which is what he said.

That you were different.

That he never experienced real love

before he met me. Before me, love was...

Just another four-letterword...

Beginning with "L."

No more significant

than "like" or "lust".

Then he would shake

his head like this.

Show how helpless he was in the

grips of his overwhelming passion.

And when he would go

inside you, it was like...

Returning home to

his sanity, his refuge.

Perfect rhythm.

Perfect rhythmic harmony.

Atomic union or something.

The union ofatomic matter.

Matter returning

to its purest state of unison...

after a temporary separation

in time and space.

## How do you remember all that?

Easily. He said it about a hundred

times, as if it were a mantra.

## Did he

ever askyou to marry him?

No. Why, did he askyou?

No.

Why do you ask?

Just curious.

Just trying to understand

his twisted mind.

I think his thing for me

was more sexual.

Although he did say he felt

romantic towards me.

He told you he loved you? Yeah.

He would say, "I love

you, and you love me"...

because he couldn't stand it if he said

"I love you" and I didn't say it back.

It's crazy. Even now, when I

shouldn't care what he said or did, it still

It still hurts.

I know. It hurts me too.

I feel like this is some weird

dream I'm gonna wake up from.

So do I. How long

have you known him?

Ten months. What about you? February 15.

I don't remember the date,

but it was definitely snowing,

so it must have been February.

And everything

started off real slow.

Then he got really intense

all ofa sudden, and he told me...

That he was yours

and you were his,

and neither one ofyou was

ever gonna be with anyone else.

That was in March.

Yeah. March, right.

Because he said it to me at

halftime at the NCAA semifinals.

Un-f***ing-believable. He

knew it from the beginning.

Knew what? Knew what he wanted?

He knew what he was up to.

It's not like he knew one

of us foryears or months,

then met the other one, and his

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes