Two Lovers and a Bear Page #2

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- Roman...

- Leave.

Leave.

Did you hear what I said?

- Yes...

- I said I want you out of my life!

I said I do not wanna see you again!

OK? F***ing leave!

F***ing leave!

We're over! Get out of here!

F*** you, you f***ing b*tch!

F***! Leave! Leave!

- Roman?

Roman?

Are you all right?

They told me

they heard screaming and noise!

How's Lucy? ls she with you?

- Go away.

- Sh*t, Roman!

- Go away!

- Come on! Give me the rifle,

and we can talk.

- Just go away, all right?

Just leave me alone.

- All right, Roman.

Just stay cool.

I'll be right back.

Don't do anything stupid

before I get back, all right?

Emma, this is John.

Come in.

- Hi, John. It's Emma.

How's it going down there? Over.

- Ah, we got a broken heart with a rifle.

- Could you send a couple of beers?

- Special artillery!

- Thank you!

- All right!

- Here.

A 2-4 just for you.

Come on!

I know who you are, Roman.

You're me when I was your age.

I was angry, I was real angry,

and I drank to forget that I was angry.

But it didn't help,

because every time I drank,

I got into fights.

And every time I raised my fist

to punch in someone's face,

I saw my father's face,

'cause that's who I really wanted to punch.

Everyone's got issues

with their past, Roman.

You, me, everybody.

- You know why I moved here

in the first place?

Because I broke my ankle.

I broke my ankle...

because I kicked my dad

in the face too hard.

And I kicked my dad

in the face too hard...

because he wouldn't stop

beating on my mom and me

and I wanted to show him

that I was stronger than him...

and that he couldn't pull that sh*t

anymore.

- Did it work?

- I don't know.

I left before he could say a word.

He could be dead for all I know.

- John, this is Emma.

Pick up.

John, are you there?

Pick up.

- Roman?

- John, pick up.

- Yeah.

- Are you still at the house?

- Yeah.

- We have to send a rescue team

to the cliffs.

There was an emergency flare.

- Right, and when does

the next plane leave for Central?

- Takes off in about 40 minutes.

- All right.

I'm gonna gift-wrap him

so they can take him in.

- What is this?

No, no, no, no!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

No! No, don't open that door!

Don't open that door!

I ain't taking gift-wraps!

I already told Emma.

What if he pukes?

Who's gonna clean up that sh*t?

- He's not gonna puke.

- He is gonna puke,

and I don't wanna clean it up!

- Look, we got a family

stranded 100 miles away,

and they're freezing to death.

I'm all alone.

You are f***ing taking him!

Send them matches!

I don't care!

You're an a**hole, you know that?

- Listen, you've got to go to clinic

for a couple of days, OK?

You got to get yourself clean

and your head straight.

I'll see you soon.

I'm sorry, he's not allowed

to talk to anyone at the moment.

- Um, why not?

- It's just the policy

for this type of patient.

There's really nothing I can do.

We only allow visits on Sundays

between, like, 1:00 and 4:00.

- OK, I'm not... I'm not anywhere near,

so could I...

Is there any way

I could just talk to him?

I'm his girlfriend,

and he'll wanna talk to me.

My name's Lucy.

Could you just ask him

if he wants to talk to me?

- Yeah, I'm sorry.

I completely understand the situation.

It's just how the process works.

- M m-hm m.

- For the first week, the patient...

So, that'll be $1,235, please.

- How'd you get here?

Did you use the money

you were saving to go down south?

- I just spent 1,300 bucks

to come see you.

Don't f*** it up.

They gave us 15 minutes.

Come here. I need you!

Oh, I'm gonna come!

Wait for me!

Why did you do this'?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I just...

I wanted you to be free.

- If you hurt yourself, you hurt me.

- I don't wanna hurt you.

I wanna make it up to you.

Tell me what to do to make it up to you,

and I'll do it.

- Can you help me?

Take me away.

He's still following me.

He's still chasing me.

I can't take it anymore.

Will you come south with me?

Please.

Please!

- Yes.

- There's only one problem.

- What's that?

- I spent all my money to come here

and have sex with you for 20 minutes.

We're gonna get

on our snowmobiles.

And we're gonna ride

through the mountains...

in the snow and the cold...

to somewhere that's warm and bright.

Where you'll be free

from your nightmares.

How does that happen?

- The tide gets too high.

They do this every spring.

They cross the river

to get to the other side.

One leads,

the 2nd one follows the first one,

and the 3rd one follows that 2nd one.

And, sometimes,

there's thousands of them,

and if the first one loses ground,

then it's over.

The 2nd one becomes the leader,

and he loses ground,

and the 3rd one follows him

and loses ground,

and it keeps going like that

until they all drown.

- That's f***ed up!

- Yeah, I know.

What are you thinking?

- I don't know.

- OK, I have a joke for you.

Two lovers and a bear walk into a bar,

and the lovers

are carrying an octopus with them.

They set the octopus down

on the seat next to them,

and the bear sits down next to the octopus.

And the lovers say;

"This is a really special octopus,

"because he can play

any instrument on the planet

"better than anyone."

The bear's like; "Bullshit!"

So, he goes to the back of the bar,

and he grabs the guitar

that's back there.

And the octopus looks at it,

and he plays it better

than anybody's ever played

the guitar before.

So the bear's like; "All right, fine."

Oh my God!

- So, then the bear's like;

"All right, I got ya."

He goes over, and he grabs, um...

the spoons that are

at the back of the bar.

He gives it to the octopus,

and the octopus takes it

in his 8 arms and, like...

plays it better

than any spoon player.

- Wow!

- Yeah.

- Better than Mississippi Sam?

So, then...

So, then the bear's getting

really pissed off at this point,

so he goes over and grabs

the instrument, the bagpipes,

and the octopus kind of looks at them

and is like, "OK,"

and, like, grabs them,

and, like, fumbling with them,

son of, like, not quite sure,

and then just gives up

and puts them down.

And the bear goes;

"Ha! I knew you couldn't play it."

And then the octopus goes;

"Play it? I was gonna...

"I was gonna f*** it

as soon as I pulled the pyjamas off of it."

- That's the worst joke

I've ever heard in my entire life.

- It's such a good joke!

- No, it's not!

- You didn't hear it properly.

- It's 8 hours long.

- Six, OK? Six hours long.

- It's a good image, though.

- It's a great image.

- Pyjamas off!

- And its legs!

- Must take pyjamas off!

Just come over to me!

- OK!

'Mmm!

- All right!

- Oh! Oh!

- Oh! It feels so good!

- Let me see.

WOW!

These are really amazing.

- Thank you.

- You should show these.

People would totally buy 'em.

- Maybe.

- Definitely.

- To me, they look like

the colours inside your head

when you close your eyes.

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Faster!

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