Two Moon Junction Page #3

- Yes!

I knew it. You're the one

that's about to be married.

Perry told me all about you when we met.

I'm Patti Jean. Hang on.

Did that son of a b*tch make you take

an AIDS test before he f***ed you?

I didn't think so. He said it wasn't

cos he was afraid of dying.

He just didn't wanna spread

the disease indiscriminately.

I think he just didn't wanna die

having people think he was gay.

He's pretty enough

to give that impression.

Kind of humiliated me.

Wanna talk about humiliating?

I know a girl who flies with Savannah

and she said

when people die on aeroplanes,

they lock 'em

in the f***in' bathroom until they land.

Now I ask you, if that ain't

the ultimate humiliation, what is?

Ending up your life on a toilet seat

Hang on.

We're here.

Sh*t. Hey!

What kind o' liquor did he say he wanted?

Bourbon, right.

Hey, you got a bathroom?

I'm gonna pee in my f***in' pants. Get

the liquor. I gotta go to the bathroom bad!

Now you know my secret.

I put a little rouge on it.

Makes it easier to see through my blouse.

It's a real '60s thing to do, but it's cute.

Boys'd howl when I wore

angora sweaters in junior high.

I love angora. You ever put

yours in the refrigerator?

- No.

- Makes it real fuzzy.

I bet you got great tits. I can tell.

- But you shouldn't be ashamed of 'em.

- I'm not.

And your hair'd look sexier

if you'd wet it and slick it back.

I'm a hairdresser - I know what I'm

talking about. I do 30 makeovers a week.

And that top would look so much better

if you weren't wearing a bra.

- Wanna let me try it on?

- What?

I'll shut the door.

- Come on, let me try it on.

- OK.

That's nice. Wanna try mine?

I designed it myself.

It'll look so cute on you.

You've got the perfect figure for it.

Come on, don't be shy.

Just put it on and say goodbye princess.

Sorry. I know it would look good on you.

I'm not gonna take no for an answer.

Come on. Perry'll love it.

Looks good, doesn't it?

Let's see.

It's at moments like this I can see

why guys like women so much.

And this damn bull, it kept

working around in the undergrowth.

- Help!

- Oh, holy sh*t!

Oh, damn it! I can't...

Speed, where the hell are you?

Hey, Rube! Someone's gonna die!

You all right?

See that?

Those kids could have been killed!

People put their lives in your hands.

You've got a responsibility to them.

- F*** you!

- F*** you.

Everything is "F*** you".

Everything boils down to f***in' money.

- Money. You want money? Here, take it.

- Money! That's what I like.

Stand back.

What you got there, Buck? Got a gun?

Go get 'em, Perry. Take the whole

French foreign legion to take my Perry.

I gotta tell you - he got me so hot the first

time. I thought I'd go through the ceiling.

Even better than my second husband,

and he was from Pittsburgh.

Come on, boy!

Holy sh*t.

Hang on.

Argh!

F***er!

Jerk!

Scumbag!

Cocksucker!

Thanks.

No!

Get back! Get back!

Stand back!

Easy, man. Take it easy.

- Get off him!

- Yeah, let him alone.

I'm gonna...

Get your f***ing dog and

your f***ing girls and get outta here.

Now!

Want some?

The lady's got a secret.

Don't you?

I ain't got no secret.

I ain't got nothin', except a bike,

a truck, and a post-office box

in Clearwater, Florida.

- So, what colour's your living room?

- White.

- But it's not my house. It's my parents'.

- Is your bedroom white, too?

It's beige and floral print.

My place is wood panel.

I never lived in anything else but.

Except when I lived in Vegas.

I was married to this guy in the Air Force.

And they put us up in this place.

It was great. A prefab with a balcony.

- You wanna dance?

- No.

Come on, we're here. Let's have fun.

This is my favourite song.

And you're gonna dance with me now.

Go to him.

Ask him to take you for a ride on his bike.

Nothing but the sound of the engine

and the clouds in the sky.

Don't worry about me.

I'm takin' a bus outta here in the morning.

I don't know where I'm goin',

but I can't wait to get there.

- Hello?

- Delilah? It's me, April.

- April, honey?

- Did my mom or anyone else call for me?

- Why, nobody.

- If they do,

could you tell them

I'm on my way home?

- Of course.

- Thanks.

Bye.

- Ay, perdone, regresamos mas tarde.

- No, no, no, no. It's OK. You can stay.

- Where are you from?

- Puerto Rico.

Is that your sister?

- No, no.

- Cousin?

- No, es amiga.

- Amiga.

Can you ask your friend why

she's not wearing any underwear?

Que quiere saber que por que

no tienes pataletas puestas.

She washed them last night. They're

not dry enough to wear this morning.

She only got one pair?

Parece que si.

You son of a b*tch.

Bed's barely cold,

you're trying to get someone else in it?

What the hell. As long as the room's paid

for, I might as well get my money's worth.

Parece que estan juntos, vamonos.

You hollow, manipulative piece of sh*t.

Everything you are is between your legs.

Then why don't you come over here

and give me a kiss good mornin'?

- I don't know what the hell I'm doing here.

- It's called lust, baby.

Yep, there's no mistaking it.

What's happened to April is

she's come face to face with her libido.

F*** you. I don't have to take this sh*t.

I bet you didn't think I knew

what that word meant!

Libido! Unchecked desire.

Who do you think you are?

You come to my house...

It's not your house. It's your mommy

and daddy's house. And you invited me.

I don't recall giving you my address!

- You came cos you wanted to come.

- You can believe anything you want.

You're so far gone there's no hope.

You're psychotic.

You know what that means?

Fundamental mental derangement.

- You are beyond social redemption.

- Better than being hysterical.

You lose, mister. You're all alone.

You don't care about anybody

and nobody gives a sh*t about you.

That's right, baby.

I'm the phantom of the night.

- A**hole.

- Princess.

- Motherf***er.

- Sweet pea.

Cocksucker. Scumbag.

- Precious.

- Pig sh*t.

- Dumpling.

- Scumbag.

You already said that.

- You bastard.

- Better be careful what you say.

People might think we like each other.

You can rot in hell for all I care.

I'm sorry for the disturbance, folks.

But you got to admit,

that's one special wacko chick.

I'm gonna buy you breakfast, a**hole.

You know, I have a grandmother

that I'm sure was about

the hottest thing on the planet.

There was a time,

every Saturday night,

and they'd dress up

in tuxedos and gowns

and go down to our pavilion at

Two Moon Junction and dance all night.

- Two Moon Junction?

- Yeah.

That's my favourite place in all the world.

My great-great-granddaddy

was a pirate, you know.

- No.

- Really.

Yeah, he and Lafitte and some others

got very pissed off at the slave traders

and started raiding their ships and setting

all the slaves free in South America.

My grandmother says they had a dream of

America being the last bastion of freedom.

But then they realised the problem was

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