Two Weeks Notice Page #9

I'm sitting here eating a piece

of cheesecake made entirely of soy.

And I hate it.

But I'm eating it.

I'm going to work. Bye. Good luck.

The law is pretty clear on this.

If the landlord has not kept up

proper maintenance, he cannot evict you.

We will help you, Mrs. Munez.

Let me run and get you some forms

that you can fill out, and we'll get started.

Well, hello.

- Hi.

- You don't remember me, do you?

Polly St. Clair? You interviewed me?

You thought I was having a baby?

Oh, yes. Yes, Polly. Wow.

So you work here now.

- Terrific. How are you?

- Pregnant.

- I'm not falling for that one again.

- No, I'm really pregnant.

- You can congratulate me now.

- Polly, I was not born yesterday.

I'm pregnant!

You want to see the damn sonogram?

Mrs. Munez, we have two other cases...

Hi.

Hi. I'm busy.

Yes.

I need your advice on one last thing...

...and then I promise

you will never hear from me again.

I just delivered the first speech written

entirely by myself since we met...

...and I think I may have blown it,

so I wanted to ask your thoughts.

Okay. Then I will read it to you.

"I'd like to welcome everyone

on this special day.

Island Towers will bring prestige

to the neighborhood...

...and become part

of Brooklyn's renaissance.

And we're very pleased

and proud to be here.

Unfortunately,

there is one fly in the ointment.

You see, I gave my word to someone...

...that we wouldn't knock down

this building behind me.

Normally, and those who know me

or were married to me can attest to this...

...my word wouldn't mean very much.

So why does it this time?

Well, partly because this building

is an architectural gem...

...and deserves to be landmarked.

Partly because people do need a place

to do senior's water ballet and CPR.

Preferably not together.

But mainly because this person,

despite being unusually stubborn...

...and unwilling to compromise

and a very poor dresser, is...

She's...

...rather like the building

she loves so much.

A little rough around the edges,

but when you look closely...

...absolutely beautiful.

And the only one of her kind.

And even though I've said cruel things

and driven her away...

...she's become the voice in my head.

And I can't seem to drown her out.

And I don't want to drown her out.

So we are going to keep

the community center.

Because I gave my word to her...

...and because we gave our word

to the community."

And I didn't sleep with June.

That's not in the speech, that's just me

letting you know that important fact.

What do you think?

I have to get back to work.

Right.

Right, yes, yes, yes. Sorry to disturb.

Congratulations again, Polly.

Aside from the split infinitive

that was somewhere in the middle...

...that speech was actually quite perfect,

wasn't it?

Yeah. I don't know what the hell

you're still doing sitting here.

And I don't even like him.

George!

George, I just want to say thank you.

Thank you and I know

I can be harsh and demanding...

...but I want to try and change

because I believe people can change.

I can change and not be so demanding

and, you know, like, meet you halfway.

I just... I know... Things just...

Once I...

Lucy...

...I am in love with you.

And I'm in love with you.

Oh, I should just mention

that I have resigned...

...and am now poor.

- Good.

When I say poor, I mean we may have to

share a helicopter with another family.

Does that work for you?

As long as I don't have to work for you,

we will be fine.

Excellent.

And now I would very much like

to discuss that whole bobcat-pretzel thing.

Oh, I was just kidding.

I'm allergic to bobcats, actually.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

- But I can do the pretzel.

- That's excellent news.

Hi, Mr. Wong, it's Lucy Kelson.

I need one number 13,

two number sevens...

I can't believe how small this apartment is.

It's shocking.

I need three number eights, no garlic.

It's good your parents went to the movies.

We'd never have squeezed in.

I need one number seven and...

I can walk from one side of this apartment

to the other in six seconds.

- Watch this. One...

- And a number 11, please.

No, actually this is for two.

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