Tyrannosaur Page #3

- Right.

(Shop bell rings)

Hey.

Hi, Hannah.

Hey...

How's your day?

- Yeah, good.

This is Joseph. His friend's died.

I'm helping him to get a suit.

Sorry to hear that.

Yeah, when was the funeral, Joseph?

Wednesday, I think.

- Well, you'd better make sure.

Don't want to turn up on the wrong day.

I'll change in there, eh?

- Yeah. Great.

Hey, how was your morning? What?

I saw you.

- You saw me what?

What does that mean?

- I'll talk to you later.

(Whispers) You f***ing slag.

I haven't done anything.

It's not like that.

(Sighs)

You OK?

Yeah. Sorry.

Could you leave, please?

(Wails)

What are you f***ing looking at?

F*** you.

(Music plays in bar)...

...(Ringtone)...

'Hello. Neither I nor James can

come to the phone right now.

'Please leave a message.'

James, I didn't do anything.

Please pick up the phone.

Can I get a gin and tonic, please?

'Hello. Neither I nor James...'

James, it's Hannah. Please listen.

I didn't do anything wrong.

It's not what you think.

James, it's Hannah.

Please pick up the phone.

I want to explain to you.

Please pick up the phone.

Pick up the phone.

(James) 'Hello? Hello?'

Please don't hurt me any more,

James.

'Where are you? Hannah?'

I don't want you to hurt me any more.

'Are you drunk? Where are you?

Tell me where you are.'

Don't hurt me any more.

'Hannah? Hannah?'

Hello?

- 'You with my wife? Where are you?'

We're just at the...

We're just at the Exchange now.

Yeah. She's on the floor.

Come on.

You'll get piles sitting there.

That's it.

- Come on.

There we are.

Hey, that looks posh.

- Do you think he'll give us a lift?

He's here now.

- You go home.

You'll be home soon.

You'll be home soon. Hi.

Thank you.

- Hiya.

She's good.

- Bye, love.

See ya.

- It's OK. All right.

Watch your head.

I'm going to stick you.

You f***ing slag.

What's so funny?

You been out selling your fanny?

- Yeah.

What?

- Yeah, I've been selling my fanny.

I need all the men I can f***,

because you're a useless bastard.

And I can't stand the sight of you any more.

You're a little f***ing coward.

Pretends he believes in God

and is ill in the head.

You're an evil little boy with

an evil little cock. Go on. Hit me.

Go on. Right on the chin.

Bruise me up some more.

Bruise my whole f***ing head.

Come on.

Want to smell my fanny?

You normally do, don't you?

I f***ing hate you. Get off me.

I f***ing hate you.

Hate you.

(Pants)...

...(Laughs hysterically)

Evil little cock, huh?

Evil little cock, hey?

How about I just slice your tits off

and stick them on the wall, hey?

I gave you a chance, Hannah.

I gave you a f***ing chance.

I gave you a chance and you f***ed it up.

(James pants heavily)

Do you want some little cock, hey?

Do you want some f***ing cock?

(Grunts)...

...(Continues to grunt)...

...(Screams)...

Can I help you, love?

- Yeah, I'm looking for Joseph.

Joseph?

Yes, I came here with him

to pray for your father.

Erm...come in.

Where is he now?

(Hannah) I've left him.

You have any family or friends

or someone you can go to?

They won't believe me.

They think he's perfect.

I'd say there was enough evidence

on your face to suggest otherwise.

I don't have anybody.

Marie...

...(Whispers) What do I do with her?

Does it bring back memories, Joseph?

All right, Sam?

- Where have you been, man?

I've been around, son.

Is this your girlfriend?

This is Hannah.

- Whoa. What happened to you, girl?

Would you believe,

she fell off a bus.

What? From top?

- Aye.

Oh, that's bad luck.

I hope she's all right.

See ya.

- See ya, fella.

Come on through.

Grab a seat.

Can I get you something?

Do you have any aspirin?

- Yeah.

I can get you something stronger,

but it might knock you out.

Aspirin would be great.

Want a tea?

- Yes, please.

What do you take?

- Just milk.

Just milk, yeah?

- Yes, please.

Who's the woman in the picture there?

That's the wife.

- She's got a lovely face.

Yeah. She did have.

She was a good woman.

She's dead, is she?

Five years now.

How did she die?

If it's all right to ask.

Sorry, I'm prying

Heart attack.

She was diabetic.

She was always a big girl,

but she would not stop

eating the sh*t that was killing her.

In the end, they cut off her legs.

She was f***ing blind.

She was just a carcass.

(Dogs barking outside)

The Tyrannosaur.

Sorry. What did you say?

F***ing dogs are driving me f***ing nuts.

Can you hear that barking?

It's f***ing killing me.

What are you doing?

(Heavy footsteps thud above)...

...(Hannah) Oh, sorry.

Morning.

You can't stay here.

- OK.

I can't cope.

Can't cope with someone in the house.

You brought your shite to my door

and I don't want it. I'm no Samaritan.

Right.

It's nothing personal.

I'm trying to turn my life around

and you're f***ing it up.

Now, if you want help to go and get

some gear, then I'll help you.

But if your old man's gonna

keep bartering the f*** out of you,

go to family or friends

or your Christian buddies.

You've no business with me.

- I understand.

I'll take you home

and I'll help you get some gear.

After that, we're done.

Yeah.

Is it this one?

Right, come on.

- Erm...

Hannah, come on.

- I'm not ready.

I'm not ready.

- It's OK.

Look, I'll go in. I'll sort it.

- No, I can't.

Hannah, I'll sort it.

- No.

Come on. Hannah.

- No.

Hannah.

How's it going?

- How did you get on?

I think I did OK, Captain.

- Superb.

How much do I owe you?

Do I look like the Chancellor

of the f***ing Exchequer?

There's no f***ing way.

I help my buddy, yeah?

And the lady? Damsel in distress.

OK, you're a good man.

You're a good man. I'll see you.

OK, what we got?

Shirt.

- Great.

Thank you.

- It's all right.

These are all clean.

Yeah. Jeans. Your size?

Hm.

- OK. Good.

I could have bought them myself.

I have some money.

No, it's fine. It's fine, it's fine.

Here. Summery, eh?

Hair. Is that hair?

Hair bands.

- Hair bands.

I don't really have hair.

- OK. What else we got?

Ah, he's a f***ing wank... Sorry.

It's Tommy.

His idea of a joke. Sorry, sorry.

Ah, f***.

You all right?

I've got to go

to my friend's funeral tomorrow.

Thank you.

(Sound muted)

What you doing stood way over here?

Thought I'd stay out the way.

A pity you couldn't have done that

a few years ago.

It's not your fault, Joseph.

Dad had a mind of his own, you know.

You just didn't f***ing help matters.

Will you come for a drink with me?

No.

- Yes, you f***ing will.

(Tommy) Easy and free...

...When you're drinking with me...

...I'm a man you don't meet every day...

...So I took out my dog...

...And him I did shoot...

...Down in the County Kildare...

...So be easy and free...

...When you're drinking with me

I'm a man you don't meet every day ...

...(Applause)

Well, we don't want to sit around

going boo-hoo-hoo all day.

Are we going to give Jack

a proper send-off or what?

Hey, Jack, who ran away...

...We miss you, we want you back...

...You don't just touch our hearts...

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote