Ugly

1

Did papa call?

No.

Every 5 minutes, police interrupts

our shoot, asking for bribe

Do you have legal shooting permits?

- We do, sir!

We have already paid the fees, both

to the municipality and the police

But this is the detection squad,

not a complaint office

I need to go in

- Who are you?

I am the brother in law of Mr. Bose

who is the chief of detection squad.

What is your work?

-lts personal

Ask him, he knows me.

Sir...! Sir...!!

Sir, when people

buy mobile sim cards...

...or when they go

through immigration.

Or check into a hotel, they need to

fill in their personal details.

We acquire all those details/tntei and

feed into our system.

Passport number, social security number,

mobile, license, car numbers...

...all such unique numbers are regularly

collated & updated in our systems.

So, if you need any intel on anyone.

Brother-in-law...!

We don't need to sift through various

offices for their records anymore.

We just need to send subject's

unique number by phone..

You can get all intel on that

person on your phone itself.

Mummy, check with Papa when

is he coming to pick me up.

You do it yourself.

But I can't get through to him.

Hey, don't.

Let me clean up...

- No, just leave.

Why did you break the jug?!

Because you're not calling papa?

I'll not allow you to go

out with him?

I know. Your TV is more important.

Don't talk back to me.

I know you hate papa...

- Shut up!

Kali...!

Is your mom home?

Hold on...

Mummy, uncle's calling for you.

I'll be there in 5 mins.

I will drop in for a bit but

I will leave quickly

It's daughter time today!

Kali, wait.

Do I smell bad?

Still?

Tidy your hair.

I'm still waiting outside.

Everyone is laughing at me

'cos they know who I am...

Bloody! Brother-in-law

He must be busy.

That casting director calls me

only on Saturdays...

when I'm suppose

to meet my daughter.

I'll speak to him.

Please speak to him, man!

Make him understand.

F***ing b*tch! She treats me like

I'm going to kidnap my own daughter!

Bad word, papa...

10 bucks.

Easy.. I'm on my way.

Papa !!

- F***ing traffic..

You were there?

Good joke, man.

Indian women have a red dot on their forehead

'cos they're recording everything...!

It's a f***ing recording button!

I should've been there, man.

You're stupid to give him money, papa?

I don't. I don't even

speak to my son.

I don't even pay his rent.

You don't but your wife does.

It is wise to keep one's

woman on a leash.

Please hold...

your daughter's on the line.

What is it?

I know your brother is

waiting outside?

What's he saying?

Shalini, I didn't marry you to solve

your family problems...

Either I've to intimidate

your father's business associates...

...or illegally bail your

brother's friends.

You don't have to!

But when you make him wait outside,

he annoys me with his calls..

I'll thrash him so hard that he'll

forget how to dial a f***ing phone..

...you go have your

drink and stop bugging me..

I needed some money.

Why?

The man friday will

get you what you need.

I don't have any money

My bank account is empty.

I get bored sitting at home...

Your car always has

5 litres of gas.

Anything else, tell the man friday.

Rane!!

Sir!!

Give me your phone.

Get His Highness some tea.

Why have we stopped here, papa?

Just 5 minutes,

I've to pick a script.

Just 5 minutes. Please!

I know how long your 5 minutes are!

Aren't we going to lmax at 5?

What time is it now?

Three.

What will we do for next 2 hours?

I may as well do my tiny errand.

Why do you always pick me

when you've work to do..

Okay, come with me.

I don't want to go with you.

Wow! An iphone...!

Uncle gifted it to me.

Which model is it?

Now why are you wasting time?

I'm going, dear.

Don't get mad!

Stay right here.

I'll be back soon, ok?

Yeah, whatever. Go.

That's like my girl.

Go!

Okay. Now don't move.

Yeah.

Your son will be here in 5 minutes...

Come on, you're exaggerating!

I'm auditioning for

a big film tomorrow.

If the Goddess smiles on me,

I'll get the role!

Then I'll pay you back...

...all together!

In the grey market, an iphone or an ipad

can get you a cool profit of 5 to 6 grand!

So if we get 100 pieces per trip,

that's an easy 5 lacs.

And we can pay off your

custom officer friend

My brother-in-law is upstairs.

He's smuggling iphones.

Give him a good beating!

Where are you, man?

Open the door.

You really made me wait!

- You know how the traffic is...!

Ok, where's the script.

This is seriously long monologue.

Just memorise it.

Why is Kali not in the car?

What do you mean?

- The car door was open and Kali was not there.

What sh*t.!

She must be around somewhere...

Rahul!

Hey, Rahul!

Rahul... Hey, Rahul!

Sir, there was a little girl in

this car... did you see her anywhere?

There was a girl in this car... did you see her?

- I don't know.

Have you seen a little girl around?

- No.

In this car...?

- No, sir.

Did you see a little girl in this car...?

- No.

Hey, there was a girl in this car

right here... seen her?

Your phone's ringing.

Take the call.

Hey...!

Show me your phone.

Where did you get this?

How did you get this?

- It was around...

Where the f*** did you get this...?

Rahul...!

Hey, Rahul... over here!

- What happened?

This guy...

- What... what?

Stop tripping me...

and get that f***er!

Grab him!

Stop, f***er!

Get him, Rahul!

Stop, sister f***er!

Rahul, stop him...!

You block him from the other side...!

Hey... stop!!

Rahul...!

Don't let him get away!

Get him!

Your name?

- Rahul Kapoor.

Why is your last name written as

'Varshney' here?

That's my real name...

but I prefer to use 'Kapoor'!

Why?

He's an actor, sir...

You don't interrupt inbetween...!

Actors do this often, sir.

- What?

A birth name and a screen name.

- Why?

So what's Amitabh Bachchan's

'home-name'?

He doesn't have two names.

Why? He's a super star...

Sir Bachchan...!

But many have two names.

- It's true, sir...

Like Akshay Kumar's real name is Rajiv

Bhatia. Rajesh Khanna was Jatin...

Yeah, that's true. Akshay

Kumar's real name is Rajiv Bhatia.

Even Dilip Kumar's real name

was Yusuf, right?

Yusuf Khan!

Ah... brother Yusuf!

Jeetendra also had one...

- Correct.

Just look at him drool...

...this bastard's such a movie buff!

So, 'Kapoor'...

which film have you acted in?

I haven't!

You haven't?

Sir, he's waiting for a right role...

And what do you do?

I'm a producer and

a casting director, sir.

What is basting'?

See, when a film is launched,

I select the actors for it.

So you decide whether to take

Shahrukh Khan or Salman Khan...?

No, sir...!

See, all the big stars...

The Shahrukhs and Salmans...!

Yeah, the stars who play main leads.

Actually, they are pre-decided.

But the heroine's mother, her father...

- The 'character roles', sir...

Or the villain's henchmen...

The bad guys who get beaten up...!

So basically,

you select the spare parts!!

So why haven't you cast

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