Unaccompanied Minors

- Santa.

- The big man himself.

Now, Charlie, you're gonna be okay

this year, right?

Never been better, Dad.

Who do we have here?

You're up.

Santa. I can't believe it's really you.

It's all right, everybody.

Happens every year.

- Okay, go. Prove it.

- Okay.

- Santa, my friends and I have a bet.

- About what?

I was right, you're hot!

You guys owe me a soy half-caf

with a mocha shot!

Can you get me a discount?

Mom, I'm 11.

I'll look like a loser

getting my picture with Santa.

You'll look like someone

who's grounded if you don't.

Now go sit on Santa's lap. Go.

Hands off, fat boy!

I don't wanna see Santa!

Then let's just go, okay?

- I don't wanna go!

- Then get on Santa's lap.

I don't wanna!

Somebody's not being a very good girl.

I might have to put coal

in your stocking this year.

Nice work. Did they send you

to school for that?

Okay, look, Katherine.

Nothing's gonna happen. See?

- Everything's okay.

- Oh, my God.

That dorky kid from the AV squad

is getting his picture taken with Santa.

Why do we have to spend Christmas

with Dad, anyway?

He's gonna be working

the whole time.

Honey, I know that this is all hard on you,

but you are the man of the family now.

Your sister is counting on you

to make this a good Christmas.

Honey, please, just take care of her.

Oh, excuse me?

My children are traveling without me

and they told me that I should...

I got two unaccompanied minors!

Welcome to the friendly skies,

underage travelers.

Hey, look what we have here.

The wings. And wings for you.

All right, let's go experience

the wonders of flight.

While we're young. Yes. We have to walk.

There you go.

It's happening.

- I love you, Katie.

- I love you, Mom.

I love you, Spencer.

Please focus.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Hoover International Airport.

- How come we're not in Pennsylvania?

- We have to change planes.

But I liked our plane.

Hey. So you guys

are the Davenports, right?

All right. Well, my name is Zach and I'll

be taking care of you during your layover.

And give me five!

Follow me this way. Man.

Where are all the Christmas decorations?

Well, our boss doesn't really like Christmas

so he locked all the decorations away.

But he did let us put up a few things.

For example, you see that over there?

That green thing is a Christmas tree,

and those red thingies are holly.

It doesn't feel like Christmas.

Yeah, I kind of agree with you.

But that's the way Mr. Porter wanted it.

- Who's Mr. Porter?

- He's the head of Passenger Relations.

And between you and me,

I don't really think he likes passengers...

...or holidays, really.

He sounds mean.

Yeah. It really depends

on what mood he's in.

Smell the air, Hoffman.

Do you know what that is?

Cinnabons, Mr. Porter?

Freedom. It's my first Christmas off

in 15 years.

Just me, a Hawaiian resort...

...and no complaining passengers

to deal with.

You know who will be complaining now?

Me. I'll be complaining about everything.

And they'll just have to stand there

and listen to me...

...because it's their job, not mine.

- Sounds like fun, sir.

- Oh, it's more than fun.

It's my vacation.

Well, aloha, suckers.

Aloha. All flights to Hawaii

have been canceled due to heavy snow.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

And Merry Christmas to me.

- Twenty inches of snow have fallen...

- This is easily the storm of the...

- Worst blizzard we've...

- Ten foot drifts have been...

After Christmas, head

to Hoover International Airport...

...for the first-ever unclaimed

baggage warehouse sale.

You never know what you might find.

Clothes, toys, electronics.

If someone's lost it, you can buy it.

Also don't forget...

Oh, no. Did you bite your tongue again?

When I wrote Santa,

I forgot to tell him...

...that we were gonna be at Dad's house

all the way in Pennsylvania.

How is he gonna find us now?

Oh, you mean that Santa guy

that you're scared of?

Him? I mean, he's not even gonn...

He'll find you. The tooth fairy

gave him directions.

She works with NORAD.

Spencer, NORAD says that Santa's

gonna be at this airport at 4:29.

So that means if we lived here,

Santa would bring me my new doll at 4:30.

Guys. We have a problem.

Attention, passengers. All flights

out of Hoover International Airport...

...have been suspended

due to blizzard conditions.

The weather service is forecasting

extremely heavy snow and high winds...

...until tomorrow morning...

My wife's gonna kill me, man.

I gotta get out of here.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Where are we going?

Somewhere really fun.

Are we going to prison?

No. We're going to have fun with all

the other kids who are flying by themselves.

Welcome to the

Unaccompanied Minors Room.

Oh, man.

It's like Lord of the Flies in here.

Help us!

Zach, we're flight attendants,

not riot police.

You've got to find someone else

to take over.

You guys, there is no one else.

The storm is huge.

Think of it like being in the air

with a normal passenger load...

...and secure all exits and discourage

anybody from going to the restroom.

- Oh, come on, you guys.

- Have fun, Zach!

Where's your Christmas spirit?

I mean, look at them, they're so cute.

I don't think Santa's

gonna find us in here.

I think I bought defective M&M's.

You know, some of these are W's.

Oh, come on, Val, lighten up, you know?

It's Christm...

I know you're worried about the kids.

They're fine.

It's Christmas Eve.

We're gonna do more decorating...

No. No. Judy, you don't have

any more decorating to do.

I have to finish. I have six more boxes

of lights in the garage.

- This is creepy.

- You're just poisonous, aren't you?

Thanks for being such a great sister.

The Weather Service is calling it

the Storm of the Century.

It's the biggest blizzard to hit

the middle of the country in decades.

We're talking nasty.

It's already grounded all flights

in and out of the Midwest...

Oh, no! The kids!

Can we change planes now?

Okay, yeah, I can do this. All right.

- Kids love me. I'm all right. I'm good.

- Excuse me, sir?

Didn't I tell you this was fun?

Look how many kids are here.

Get us out of here.

Why would you wanna do that?

It's great down here.

Look, watch this. Hey, can I get

you guys' attention, please?

Okay.

All right, accidents happen.

All right, that one was full!

Straw in the eye. Straw in the eye.

Santa's watching!

He's not very happy about this!

- He's not going to come to your house!

- Amateurs.

- I bet he's psycho.

- I heard he tore a kid in half once.

- Go poke him.

- No, you go poke him.

We could call Mom.

Yeah, well, she wouldn't drive

Then let's call Dad.

Yeah, he wouldn't drive

four feet to get us.

Pardon me, do your parents

happen to be divorced?

- What?

- I'm Charlie Goldfinch.

I'm conducting a poll

about flying solo this time of year.

Being divorced is number one.

Being Jewish...

...and visiting your grandparents

is second.

And then there are the rich kids.

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