Uncaged

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I think Jack's piece of cake

is just way too big.

Mom:
I think

you might be right.

Ah, uh!

Are you ready for bed, Jack?

Mommy tucks me in.

Tonight is one of

the nights that daddy

tucks you in, okay Jack?

No.

Boy you are stubborn.

That is daddy's worst trait.

Dad:
I do recall

that's how I got

my prom date with you though.

Hmm, let's go.

I'll be right down.

Hey come here, come

here, look at me.

Remember, your worst quality

can also be your best.

Okay?

Give me a hug.

And he's in for the score!

Good night sweetie.

I love you.

Mike:

Don't, please. Help!

Brandon:
She is

thirsting for my penis.

She's hungry.

Man:
She is so bad.

She can't see out of the

back of her head, nimrod.

Yeah, but I'm saying--

yeah, and I'm a

sexual being, big woop.

I'm out there.

I've put myself in the field.

I'm a predator.

I'm like,.

Another one.

Ah, looks like

I'm just in time.

Gives me an idea.

So...

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Jack.

Jack:
Thanks.

-Hey, man.

-Hey.

-How you doing?

-Good.

Why are you sitting

here? You feel okay?

Yeah.

All right, well, I got

my eye on a few ladies.

You wanna go, you

wanna go talk to them?

And do a little hunting,

a little p*ssy hunting?

-Jack:
I'm okay.

-Yeah!

Go on ahead.

I have a favor to

ask from you though.

Can you watch the

door while I go to

the bathroom, I really

have to use the bathroom.

You don't

wanna go in there.

You know, ah,

goddamn, that stings!

Does uh, does your

bro wanna play flip cup?

He's not-- he's not

my brother actually,

he's my cousin.

I don't care, I don't care.

You keep saying stuff.

I don't care.

Do you wanna play?

I'm good, thank you.

I'll play. Do I need

any dice for this?

What's happening here,

i like it, it's very good,

very passionate, very sexy.

If we could just get a

little of this left hand

down on the titty.

Just touch them titties.

Just one bit, come on.

What-- hi, how are you?

Turner, what are you doing?

Hi, I'm Turner,

nice to meet you.

Hi.

Hi, hello, these

are very lovely boots.

Do you mind if I sit right

here in the middle here,

a little fast?

All right, ahh, so, uhm,

I'm here now, so why don't

you guys just catch me up,

where were you two.

It looks like you were

somewhere around right here.

I don't think so.

Oh!

Brunette girl:
No, no!

All right, well.

Smell ya later.

Yo, who's that f***ing

freshman who has never

smoked weed before?

Brandon:
Oh, I've never smoked.

-Frat boy 1:
That's you?

-Yeah.

Frat boy 1:

Take a hit right now!

I'll take it.

Oh, he should take it.

Frat boy in purple

shirt:
Take a hit,

it's your birthday!

-No, no, no, no.

-Frat boy 1:
Oh, go for it!

Dude I don't have all day man.

All right, let's

go, I'll do it!

You know, this is how you do it.

Look, look, look, look!

You light it and you

just go,.

Brandon:
Could

you light it for me?

Frat boy in purple shirt:

You can light it for him right?

Yeah you go it, all right!

Group:
Freshman,

freshman, freshman...

Let's go!!

-What the f***?

-What the f***?

-I am so...

-You can't do that!

That wasn't me, there

was some flash of just red.

Man:
That's insane!

Get the f*** out of my house!

Get the f*** out of my house!

Turner:
I swear there

is no way that your dick

is sorer than mine is.

Brandon:
No I'm telling

you, I really went to town

on myself last night.

Turner:
Oh yeah, you did.

Whereas little Turner,

he was taken care of

by an experienced third

party participant last night.

What, no way, you f-ed a girl?

Turner:
Oh, better.

You told her you loved her?

What, no, man,

I got my dick sucked.

Nice, you got it

on the forehead cam?

Oh, every juicy detail,

i mean from her head

just slowly moving down...

Ah, into the

point of no return.

Oh yeah, brother!

Enters your

gravitational pull...

-Turner:
Yeah-heah!

-Just wiggling around.

I mean if I'm the sun,

she is the closest planet

to the sun.

Whatever planet,

it's sucked in!

Exactly, you know

what I'm saying?

Brandon:
Or she's like the

millennium falcon, you know,

when she's getting drawn

in by the tractor beam,

and she can't escape,

because she's helpless.

Jack, you must be reading

the longest damn birthday card

of all time over there.

Yeah seriously,

who's that from?

It's from uncle Mike.

Oh uncle Mike, how's he doing?

He's okay, he invited me

to come over to his place

over winter break.

Oh, just you and uncle Mike,

that sounds lovely,

I'm not going.

Can I see it?

Okay, he didn't invite you.

Brandon:
It says

he's not gonna be there.

Oh, tight as f***,

definitely going.

All of us, what do you say boys?

I'm in!

I don't think it's

really a good idea.

Oh come on, Jack!

You gotta let me come, man

if I don't get

to go away for winter break,

my dad said he's gonna

make me work for him!

You know how f***ing

lame that is man?

He works at quiznos!

Look, uncle Mike is not

really the epitome of fun.

F*** uncle Mike then. He's

not even gonna be there right?

He's not gonna be there.

See, just us boys!

Three guys.

-Hmm-mm.

-One cabin.

-Uhuh!

-Non-stop fellatio.

All night, from girls.

My god, with the

f***ing touching man,

I'm trying to do my

own thing here, sh*t.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Hell man, I know my whole

family ain't getting into

heaven 'cause if I get

there, and I see them,

I'll know I'm in hell.

I believe when I get to heaven,

I'm gonna get a lot of

just all that old p*ssy

I had before I got there.

It's gonna be right there

waiting for me again.

Yeah, but I don't really

worry though about dying.

It's not so much dying a

virgin, it's just dying

without like...

Doing anything.

Turner:
Nah dude,

you'll be fine.

I've done a little bit.

Turner:
You'll be good, man.

That's why we're taking

this little vacay, man.

I'm gonna teach you,

you're my little cub,

my little baby cub.

All right, I can be the cub.

Turner:
Yeah

brother, that's right.

Brandon:
Suckling

on her nipples.

Turner:
Yeah, no,

no, no, none of that.

Well well.

Oof, oh man.

What the f*** is this man.

This is my uncle's house.

Turner:
Well, I mean, was

it in a fire or something man?

Brandon:
Come on.

Turner:
Place looks

like a f***ing turd.

No, it's rustic.

It's how it's supposed to look.

Turner:
Okay, all right.

I'm just saying, this place

doesn't exactly give me,

you know, warm cuddly feelings.

Brandon:
Isn't that why

you brought your shotgun?

You're just a crazy person.

Turner:
Just wait,

i got it, I got it.

Good grab.

Oh, a little chilly.

-Oh, sorry.

-Yeah, whatever.

Yeah.

Turner:
At least

the inside looks nicer

than the outside!

Oh, shotgun biggest room!

Brandon:
No way,

that's the coolest room!

Uncle's Mike recorded message:

Hey Jack, it's uncle Mike,

just checking in. I wanted

to make sure that you got in

all right. Uhm, look,

I'm not gonna be around

for the next week or

so, and I'm not gonna

have any cell

service where I am.

So I uh, I guess I'll just

see you when I get there.

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