Uncut Gems Page #10

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ARNO:

You think your life is more importantthan mine!?! Huh!?!?

HOWARD:

Ok, ok, fine, I’m sorry, I admit it,

ok, I did place a bet. But, hang on,

the good news is that the bet HIT, youhear me??? IT HIT BIG!!!! So we’re

good. I’ll collect next week and we’llbe all squared away.

A pause.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

I’m telling you the truth, I’ll callmy book right now!

PHIL:

Who? Gary? Yeah, we spoke with himyesterday.

HOWARD:

I don’t understand. You talked to

Gary? About what?

PHIL:

About You. And how you’re playingaround with my f***ing money. Do yourealize how offensive that is to me???

HOWARD:

Wait, you stopped the bet?

BUDDY smacks HOWARD on the head.

BUDDY:

Shut the f*** up.

HOWARD:

(exploding)

Well, congrats, Arno!

(MORE)

62.

HOWARD (CONT'D)

You just f***ed yourself out of sixhundred thousand dollars! Happy?!?!

This one’s on you! It’s now your faultthat I can’t pay you back! In fact, asfar as I’m concerned, you now owe MEmoney!

NICO leans over and puts HOWARD in a choke hold. They allstart pummeling him.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

(struggling)

STOP! STOP! ARNO TELL THEM TO STOP!

ARNO:

Take his clothes off!

HOWARD:

(struggling)

No! No! No! Arno!

ARNO:

Stop saying my f***ing name!

BUDDY and PHIL rip his clothing off, while NICO continues torestrain him. PHIL notices his watch and starts to unbuckle

it.

PHIL:

Oh... What’s this???

HOWARD:

It’s not mine! Stop! Stop!

PHIL:

This is worth more than my f***ing

car.

The SUV pulls up in front of HOWARD’s black Mercedes S-classsedan.

PHIL (CONT’D)

No more f***ing games. You have untilMonday to get Arno everything you owehim. That’s it. After that, it won’t

be about the money anymore.

PHIL uses the keys to pop the trunk on the Mercedes.

HOWARD:

ARNO! STOP! WAIT! MY BIG GEM! IT’S

HERE! IT GOES TO AUCTION NEXT WEEK!

63.

ARNO:

Get him out of the f***ing car!

HOWARD:

I’M TELLING YOU! IT FINALLY ARRIVED. I

CAN PAY YOU BACK!

PHIL and BUDDY whip HOWARD out of the car. HOWARD continues torant about his gem as they pull him out of the car and carryhim to his Mercedes.

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS

PHIL and BUDDY escort HOWARD to his now open trunk. He pleaswith ARNO as they force him into it.

HOWARD:

Please, TAKE THE OPAL!

ARNO:

(from inside the car)

No, no, I WANT THE UNDERWEAR!!

PHIL:

Oh, he wants the underwear.

BUDDY holds HOWARD down while PHIL rips HOWARDS underwearclean off his buddy. HOWARD makes eye contact with ARNO as thetrunk slams shut.

INT. MERCEDES TRUNK - CONTINUOUS

HOWARD:

F*** YOU ARNO!!!!!!!!!!!

HOWARD listens to ARNO’s car take off down the street. He

presses the blinking green emergency release button severaltimes. It doesn’t work. He starts pounding on the hood.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

HELP! HELLLLP! SOMEBODY!

(a beat)

F***.

HOWARD, out of breath, shifts his body and kicks at the hood.

He uses the light on his phone to look around the trunk. Hestarts call-bombing DINAH. Finally, she answers.

DINAH (O.S.)

(whispering, harshly)

Marcel is about to go on stage. What

do you want?!?

64.

HOWARD:

I’m sorry. I had a little accident.

Can you come outside for a second?

DINAH (O.S.)

I’m hanging up!

HOWARD:

Please, no, no, this is a medical

emergency!... I locked my keys in thetrunk of the car... Just come out

please... You can do it from thedoorway, just stick your head out andpop the trunk.... It’ll take fiveseconds.

EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT- SOON AFTER

An angry DINAH rushes out of the school and runs across theparking lot muttering to herself along the way. When shearrives close enough, she furiously pushes the trunk openbutton on the key. The trunk pops open and she can immediatelysee two naked legs kicking about inside. She confused. Shetakes a step closer when HOWARD springs up.

HOWARD (O.S.)

Ok. Thanks. I’m fine. You can go backin now.

DINAH approaches and sees that HOWARD is naked. HOWARD lockseyes with DINAH who stares in disgust. She’s had enough.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Honestly, it’s all good. Go backinside. I’ll be in a minute.

(beat)

Sorry.

DINAH pauses doesn’t even know what to say. After a beat, sheshakes her head and turns around and runs back into the

school. HOWARD gets out and rifles through the trunk forsomething to clothe himself with.

INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - SOON AFTER

HOWARD re-enters the auditorium wearing a KMH brandedsweatsuit and worn basketball sneakers. He makes his way tohis seat. EDDIE stares at him.

EDDIE:

Dad, what the f***??

65.

HOWARD:

Pay attention to your sister.

On stage:
the setting is the black forest, dead of winter. THEMAIDEN [played by HOWARD’s daughter MARCEL] is carrying awicker basket and shivering from the cold.

She is talking to three ugly DWARVES [played by three teenageboys, one wearing a yarmulke, all smothered in latex and makeup,

perched on their knees like ‘Dorf on Golf’].

DRAWF 3

What could you possibly be looking forin the forest dressed in such paperthin rags?

THE MAIDEN:

My wicked stepmother has condemned meto die lest I fill this basket with

roses before the coming of the dawn.

DWARF 2

Behind our cottage you’ll find ourmagic garden. It protects our rosesfrom the snow. Go now and fill yourbasket to your heart’s content.

THE MAIDEN:

Oh thank you! Thank you!

She gives each of them a kiss, curtsies, and heads down stageto a painted backdrop of a stone cottage. She begins to pickthe flowers.

DWARF 1

(stroking his cheek)

No lips have ever graced this cheekbefore. I believe I might faint.

DWARF 3

We must bestow a gift upon her!

DWARF 2

I know! Every time she speaks, goldcoins will spill forth from her mouth.

This will be our gift!

DWARF 1

And I have another gift in mind.

Quick! He’s approaching now.

The lights on their side of the stage go completely black asTHE WOODSMAN enters from the opposite side.

66.

THE WOODSMAN:

Hark! Who goes there?

THE MAIDEN turns and opens her mouth to respond. Gold coinsshoot out of her mouth, splaying onto the stage. She lookslike a human slot machine.

HOWARD watches intently. Is genuinely moved by this.

HOWARD:

Wow.

INT. HOWARD’S HOUSE - LONG ISLAND - MASTER BATHROOM - AFTER

A phone rings on speaker as HOWARD inspects a bruise on hisback in the mirror. The bruise looks nasty.

DEMANY (O.S.)

Hello?

HOWARD:

You answer when I block the number but

not when you see that it’s me, what’sthat about?

DEMANY (O.S.)

Nah, I knew it was you, that’s why Ipicked up.

HOWARD:

Where’s my f***ing gem?!?!

DEMANY (O.S.)

You need to calm down, nothing’shappening with you acting like this.

HOWARD:

Acting like what? I want my f***ing

property.

HOWARD makes his way into a walk in closet attached to themaster-bathroom. He flips through clothing.

DEMANY (O.S.)

Watch your mouth. You’re not dealingwith some broke ass niggas.

HOWARD:

I had to take the Chinatown bus back

to New York. That bus was fuckingdisgusting!

67.

DEMANY (O.S.)

What’d you want me to do? I go intothe locker-room with you, it makes itseem really sus. I’m trying to help

you, not f*** everything up.

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