Uncut Gems Page #13

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JULIA (O.S.)

Why aren’t you answering your phone?

HOWARD:

I asked you a question. Where are you?

JULIA (O.S.)

I stayed at Kat’s house, where do youthink? I couldn’t go home with youacting like that.

81.

HOWARD:

So lemme guess, you’re not coming intowork today.

JULIA (O.S.)

I would like to.

HOWARD:

You’re taking it easy today? It mustbe so nice to take a day off wheneveryou feel like it. What’s that like?

JULIA (O.S.)

Come on, Howard.

HOWARD:

No, it’s good, it’s good. Take a napmaybe. Get some beauty sleep. You needto stay attractive.

JULIA (O.S.)

I just want to sit down and talk to

you.

HOWARD:

Sit down? That’s exactly what I’mtelling you to do. Sit down, take arest, WHILE THE REST OF US CONTINUE TO

WORK TO MAKE SURE YOUR SPOILED

CHEATING ASS IS TAKEN CARE OF.

JOANI (O.S.)

(from intercom)

Celtics player personnel on line 2.

HOWARD:

GOOD...BYE!

HOWARD hangs up on JULIA and engages line 2.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

This is Howard Ratner.

CELTICS PERSONNEL (O.S.)

Hello Mr. Ratner, my assistant told meyou called, how you doing today?

HOWARD:

I’m not gonna lie, I could be better.

CELTICS PERSONNEL (O.S.)

I’m sorry to hear that. How can I help

you.

82.

HOWARD:

I’m having a situation with one ofyour higher profile players and thingsare about to get ugly.

CELTICS PERSONNEL (O.S.)

Ohhhhkay... Can you hold for a second?

HOWARD:

No, no hanging on. I happen to be anextremely litigious individual and I’mabout one second away from hanging upon you and calling my lawyer, thepolice, and then the press.

CELTICS PERSONNEL (O.S.)

Whoa, whoah, whoah. You realize I have

no idea what you’re talking about.

You’re getting very hot very fast andfrankly you’re beginning to sound likean a**hole so-

BUZZZZ! HOWARD looks to a security monitor and sees DEMANY, KGand a BODYGUARD waiting in the hallway.

HOWARD hangs up the phone and runs to the showroom.

INT. KMH GEMS AND JEWELRY OFFICE - SHOWROOM - CONTINUOUS

HOWARD approaches the vestibule smiling from ear to ear.

HOWARD:

Kevin! Hey! Hey! You made it!

DEMANY, KG and his BODYGUARD are in the small holding areabetween the two doors, waiting for the front door to close.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Joani, go, buzz em in.

JOANI buzzes. It won’t open. JOANI buzzes again.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

What are you doing? Buzz em in.

JOANU:

I am. It’s not working.

HOWARD:

Go try the other one. Hurry up.

JOANI dashes over to the other buzzer. BUZZZZZ! The door still

doesn’t open.

83.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Ah sh*t.

JOANI:

It’s not working either!

JOANI holds the buzzer down while BODYGUARD 1 yanks at it.

HOWARD runs up to the doors and pulls hard on it.

HOWARD:

(raising his voice to beheard through glass)

SORRY ABOUT THIS! HANG ON!

KG:

What’s going on?

DEMANY:

We don’t got time for this sh*t.

HOWARD:

(yelling)

SORRY. THIS HAPPENS SOMETIMES. IT’S

THE MAGNETIC RELEASE. IT’S NOT

CONNECTING WITH THE DOOR.

HOWARD pulls fruitlessly at the door and then kicks it.

BODYGUARD 1

I’m claustrophobic!

HOWARD:

(to KG)

YOU GOT THE GEM ON YOU?

KG removes it from a bag and holds it up.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

GREAT. LOOK THIS MIGHT TAKE A MINUTE.

BODYGUARD 1

We’re gonna go downstairs and wait.

HOWARD:

YOU CAN’T DO THAT. THAT ONE IS LOCKED

TOO. IT THINKS THIS ONE IS OPEN. HANG

ON.

BODYGUARD 1 pulls on the first door, it won’t budge. JOANIcontinues to holds down the buzzer.

DEMANY glares at HOWARD.

84.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

OKAY, HANG TIGHT!

(to ELAN)

Elan, go grab me a hammer.

ELAN exits to the back.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

I’M SO SORRY ABOUT THIS KG! 30% OFF

FOR YOU AND YOUR BOYS. ANYTHING IN THE

SHOP.

ELAN returns with a hammer. HOWARD takes a swing at the door.

It’s loud. Everyone in the vestibule covers their ears.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Okay, go.

JOANI buzzes. Nothing. HOWARD whacks wildly, to no avail.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

SH*T, THAT USUALLY DOES IT.

ELAN:

Lemme.

HOWARD hands it to ELAN, who starts hitting the door veryhard. WACK! WACK! WACK! While JOANI keeps trying the buzzer.

BUZZ!!! FLAWLESS appears on the monitor.

HOWARD:

Ah sh*t. Joani take care of this.

JOANI:

(into intercom)

Hi Flawless. Uh, we’re kind of dealingwith a problem here.

WACK! WACK! WACK! FLAWLESS yells angrily on the monitor behindHOWARD.

HOWARD:

WILL YOU GET RID OF FLAWLESS! ROMAN!!

COME OUT HERE!

With his magnifying head-gear still on, ROMAN enters the room.

ROMAN:

Oh sh*t.

HOWARD:

Roman, we’re having a connectionissue.

(MORE)

85.

HOWARD (CONT'D)

Just grab me some metal shavings, allyou can find... And bring your toolkit.

ELAN continues to whack at the door.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Enough! Stop!

ROMAN returns with a leather pouch full of metal shavings.

Through his magnification lens, he inspects the connection atthe door. He then sprinkles the shavings into the latch slot.

KG:

Yo, Howard. This is a game day for me!

What the f*** is going on.

HOWARD:

I know, I know, I’m sorry-

KG holds up a tote bag.

KG:

I’m here to buy the opal. I have$175,000 with me in this bag, cash.

HOWARD:

KG, buddy, I told you, this stone isworth over a million dollars.

DEMANY:

Oh come ON, man.

KG:

Court-side seats for next season.

HOWARD:

I live in New York, KG, what’s that

gonna do for me? You don’t understand.

I’m the kind of guy who would give itto you for free, but I’m tied into anauction right now.

KG:

What auction?

HOWARD:

I told you.

KG:

No.

86.

HOWARD:

Listen, make a bid. Come to the

auction and make a bid.

KG:

When is it?

HOWARD:

Monday.

DEMANY:

Nah, let him rent it for a few days.

KG:

I’ll just hold it til Monday then-

HOWARD:

Kevin, I hate letting you down likethis.

KG:

(angrily)

YOU’RE SAYING NO TO EVERYTHING! WHY

DON’T YOU SAY YES TO SOMETHING!

HOWARD:

I want to, believe me, I feel like an

a**hole.

JOANU tries the buzzer again. Still no good.

ROMAN:

Excuse me, Mr. Howard, it’s not

working.

HOWARD:

(standing up)

Jesus Christ. Do I have to do

everything!?!

HOWARD grabs a small metal chisel from ROMAN’s toolkit. Hejams the chisel into the latch slot.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Go, go.

JOANI hits the buzzer. The door opens. KG, DEMANY and theBODYGUARD file out, pissed.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

I’m so sorry, Kevin. Come in. Joani,

Joani, bring water!

JOANU grabs waters and Powerades from the fridge.

87.

KG:

I don’t want anything. Just get me myring back so I can get the hell out ofhere.

DEMANY:

Get him his f***ing ring. He’s gotshit to do!

HOWARD:

Oh, the ring, the ring...

HOWARD makes a show of padding his pockets.

HOWARD (CONT’D)

Oh nooooo! You know what? I left it at

home on Long Island.

DEMANY:

What do you mean you left it athome!??!

KG:

Are you joking? I can’t believe this.

HOWARD:

The kids were looking at it, I put itaway, I forgot. I’m sorry. I’ll haveit tomorrow, I promise. I’m so sorry.

DEMANY:

(to KG)

Don’t worry. I’ll come get it for you

tomorrow.

HOWARD:

He’ll make the trip to Boston for youand bring it-

KG, with supreme disgust, hands the opal to DEMANY.

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