Undead Page #2

than a poofter in a f***in' rodeo.

Prick!

The phone doesn't work.

Give it to me!

Come in, base.

- Base, please come in

- it doesn't work!

- Tracy, do you hear me?

- It doesn't work!

- Shut up! Don't go...

- it was the storm...

...stopped it all. Mobiles too.

- Constable, calm down.

- Where are the rest of the police?

- They're on patrol.

They're all dead, eaten alive.

- I've never seen anything like this.

- I have.

- What the hell is happening here?

- It 's an invasion.

You have to be f***in' kiddin' me.

The end of life as we know it.

We are the chosen ones.

The ones who will stand and fight.

It 's getting better,

you've got shits for brains.

- You're a f***in' loonie!

- You have all been sent to me...

...for a reason.

- Will you just shut your f***in' mouth?

You dead sh*t f***in' monkey

bag f***er!

These things are brain

eating zombies.

There's no such things as zombies.

So how does it feel, rene?

How does it feel to be trapped

in this town with the rest of us?

Just leave me alone.

You don't even look at me

when i speak to you.

That title was mine again. I won

that competition fair and square.

Roping two pigs together isn't a talent

fit for winning miss catch of the day.

No bloody way!

She looked alright, though,

in that outfit she was wearing.

Maybe i don't look as good

as you in a bikini right now...

with wayne junior on the way, but...

but i've got a singing voice like an

angel and if you hadn't cheated...

come on, sallyanne, i was broke!

That was the only reason i entered.

...and forget all about

your duties as queen.

You are to preserve the best interest

of the town. That 's your n 1 priority.

Ladies, you need to shut up

with the girlie talk and calm down.

- The situation is under control.

- Help will be here soon.

If you feel scared,

just think of a happy place.

Your folks' farm always

seemed to make you happy.

- I'm having a turd of a day.

- Remember when we were kids...

your dad used to swing us on that

tyre he hung from that tree?

We were happy then,

there was room to swing...

but you couldn't swing

a cat in here!

Thanks, molly.

I don't get this,

how do they know where we were?

- They can smell us.

- Great!

- They want to feed off us.

- We're like spam in a f***in' can...

- good job!

- Are we safe in here?

No food, too many people.

- And water, where's your taps?

- No taps down here.

The bottled water is upstairs.

You don't want to drink

the tap water.

Why?

Tap water is tank water...

tank water is rain water,

the rain is all part of this attack.

What?

And there was this light

coming down from the clouds...

and it was sucking up

bugs and stuff.

Well that explains it, a light coming

down sucking up bugs. Bullshit!

Well, people hallucinate some times

when they panic, i know i do.

It 's probably just the sunlight

coming through the clouds.

That 's what it was.

- That was no sunlight.

- And the meteorites falling? I saw that.

The whole town saw that.

Well, i am no weather girl...

but i am sure this kind of thing

happens all the time.

You're a fisherman.

We used to sell these in my store.

Damn things sold better

than the guns ever did.

It brings me good luck.

And you call this good luck?

I'm still breathing.

- She's one of them!

- No, she's having a baby!

- What baby?

- Get me to the hospital.

- We have to leave.

- No one leaves until i say so.

- We have to get her out of here.

- We've got two cops here.

- They know how to deliver a baby.

- That 's right, we do.

- There you go.

- I'm sure you do, molly.

See if the cervix is dilated and,

sergeant, you mop up her water.

We're out of here!

Molly, get her ready now, do it now!

Alright, we're leaving, let 's go.

- We must prepare.

- They're leaving.

- They'll die, we must stick together.

- We have to take her to the hospital.

That 's a girl.

I'm staying here.

- We're leaving.

- Come, slowly.

Come on!

Come on!

We gotta get her going!

God! Let 's get out of here!

You gotta be f***in' kiddin' me,

pal! Put it down!

Put the bag down,

get your hands away!

Get your hands away.

Get up, up, up!

- Where is the car?

- Garage.

- How do we get there?

- Through the kitchen.

- Where are the car keys?

- In the hallway.

- Can we get to them easily?

- Depends on what 's still up there.

Remember, i'm in charge.

You go first, big guy.

Empty.

They're all gone.

Bingo!

The contractions have stopped.

F*** a dead duck,

you little f***in'... f***!

These crazy f***in' pimply faced

f***in' gang banger!

F***in' come into your f***in'

house, f***in' unin-f***in'-vited!

Come on!

What 's wrong with f***in' youth

fellowship? What 's wrong with it?

F*** ya, f***in' f***in', f***er!

All the way, rene.

F***in' hell,

you f***in' piece of sh*t!

F***!

Die, you f***in' headless f***in'

mother f***in' piece of sh*t!

Take the f***in' guns, constable!

See you on the other side, sunshine.

Upstairs to the bathroom now!

Get f***ed, prick,

we're heading to the car!

Crap, everyone upstairs now!

Follow me! Follow me!

Backing up! Backing up!

F***!

There's so many of them.

These things won't die.

I've never seen anything like it.

Shoot 'em in the brain.

They won't get back up again.

Garage is down there.

We're still the law here. Nobody goes

down until i've checked it out.

On your bike, constable.

Go on, get down.

What is it, constable?

What is it, constable?

It 's clear!

Come on down.

Are you okay?

Are you sure?

Shift your arse, pal,

i'm driving this shitbox.

Nobody is driving

this shitbox but me.

- Take me to boongabby hospital.

- It 's too far.

I don't want to go back into town.

Hurry up! Let 's go!

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for?

Just get us out of here!

We're nearly out of berkeley now.

Shift your arse, princess.

I'm watching you.

I feel like i'm going to throw up.

Me too.

My god.

This can't be real.

It 's metal.

You know, i don't get this.

It takes the council 2 years to fix

a pothole in front of my place...

yet they can knock this up

in a couple of days.

This ain't no council job, waynie.

Maybe those things built it.

No.

What do you reckon built it then?

I've never seen anything

like this before.

I saw a pineapple twice the size of

a watermelon, but nothing like this.

Aliens.

Here we go again with your crazy-arse

alien story. The whole town...

...is sick of it!

- They're not aliens...

they're zomies, okay?

Happy?

We should go back in the van.

That 's really gonna help, wayne.

- Well, what do you reckon?

- We just gotta think calmly.

My god.

We're trapped.

We're all gonna die!

We're all gonna die!

Nobody is dying today,

not on my watch!

We're okay.

I'm gonna f***in' climb it.

- What? You don't even know how it is.

- This is not in discussion!

No way are we going back.

Maybe there's an opening

further down.

We're all fenced in.

Dead set?

Can i have a look?

Doesn't matter,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes