Under The Cherry Moon

1

Once upon a time in France,

there lived a bad boy

named Christopher Tracy.

Only one thing mattered

to Christopher. Money.

The women he knew

came in all sizes, shapes, and colors,

and they were all rich. Very rich.

Private concertos, kind words, and fun

is what he had to offer them.

Yes, Christopher lived for all women,

but he died for one.

Somewhere along the way,

he learned the true meaning of love.

- The more you drink, the better I sound.

- Psst!

Monsieur.

With the compliments of the lady in white.

When are y'all going to get a job?

Here. I got a job.

Why don't you all get a job?

It's dishonest work, but it's a living.

- Undecided?

- Oui.

- Un, un, un.

- Okay.

- What's up?

- Bonjour, Christopher.

Monsieur.

Mirror, mirror, 17-fold...

Who's the sexiest dressed in gold?

You must be talking about me, cousin.

Smile, Katy, you're naked.

I'll smile when you pay me

the two months' rent you owe me. Hmm?

Okay, you two, don't try anything funny.

Not this time, Christopher.

I want the money or I'll throw you both

out onto the street.

Please, madam,

look at these poor, innocent faces.

These mean streets are no place

for a couple of fine, decent...

Hoodlums like us.

Please, Katy, search in your heart

for some kindness.

Why don't you try searching

in your wallet for some money?

That's right, cousin.

Give her that Bela Lugosi look.

Throw me onto the street, hmm?

Yeah, there.

Perhaps madame would like to

conduct a search.

Hmm.

I wonder where that came from.

Fascist.

How much is lady in white worth?

$3 million.

Got it in her divorce settlement.

I'll settle for that.

We going to marry her?

Ain't it about time

we go for the big macaroni?

Mmm, I like her, but I'm looking

for a bigger brand of macaroni.

Take a look at this

and see if it whets your appetite.

Mary Sharon.

Her father owns half the ships

on the Mediterranean.

He's got to be worth a billion, easy.

He kicked a billion asses to get it, too.

And that says what?

That says she gets a $50 million

trust fund when she turns 21.

- Which is today.

- No.

- Let's go.

- You going to marry her?

Mmm. For $50 million

I would seriously consider it.

But guess what. I take 30% commission.

Yes?

Mary Sharon.

I wonder what tune she'd dance to.

Just one moment. I'll see.

- Mrs. Wellington.

- The lady in white.

Mrs. Wellington, he'll be right with you.

By the way, my name is Tricky.

Tricky, put the phone down.

I never dance before midnight.

But if you insist...

What? Right now?

I mean, here on the phone?

All right. As you wish. Hold on.

Uh-oh. Here we go.

I am nothing without your touch, my love

I am nothing without your kiss

To spend each night

in your arms, my flower

Is this man's idea of bliss

To not hear your voice each day

Is to die seven times by God's wrath

If I was anything other than human

I'd want to be the water in your bath

Till then, my love, ciao.

Who's your agent, man?

Can you believe Isaac Sharon threw

a party long-distance for his daughter?

And didn't even bother to come.

Quel scandale.

He's probably too busy

bribing another government official.

Johnny, you can be so catty sometimes.

And I wasn't even trying.

- Shall we follow the animals?

- Yes.

I need an old man with money.

Who needs money when you've got youth?

Muriel, where is your daughter?

Oh, she'll be down in a second, hopefully.

- Atta girl, Mary.

- Go, Mary, go.

How do you like my birthday suit?

I designed it myself.

Mary!

Madame.

Mrs. Cartwright.

Mary! Mary!

Hello.

How lovely to see you.

I'm so sorry.

All right. Let's get this party rocking!

- You were incredible! Great!

- Amazing!

Thank you.

I'll be back for an encore

just as soon as I've changed my costume.

See that guy who just came in?

Keep an eye on him.

What did she say?

She said...

Looks like it's diamond-hunting season

on the Riviera.

He's already checked out

every woman here twice.

- What about the other one?

- They're a couple of real pros.

Ah. We'll see about that.

What is she doing?

- Happy birthday, Mary.

- Thank you, Mrs. Wellington.

Happy birthday, Mary.

Mary, honey, there you are.

I thought you'd never show up.

I was waiting for the guards

to shoot all the party crashers

before I came down.

It's nice to see you. You look very good.

Thank you.

- What do they call you?

- Tricky.

- Fits you like a glove.

- Just like your wonderful dress.

Good evening.

Nice toss.

And nice party.

Yes. Pity you weren't invited.

- I was in the neighborhood, and, uh...

- And you got lost.

And I thought this would be fun.

Thanks for the present.

Awfully sweet of you.

Aw, tarot cards.

Want me to read your fortune?

I bet you'd like to do a lot more

than read it, buddy.

The name's Christopher, buddy.

I always thought

these things were baloney.

Just tell people what they want to hear

and they're happy.

Would you like to meet my mother?

Mommy, dear, Mrs. Wellington,

I'd like you to meet

my new friend, Christopher, um...

- Madam.

- Christopher.

He's dying to tell you

all about yourselves

with these beautiful tarot cards

you gave me, Mrs. Wellington.

Uh, do you do this professionally,

Christopher?

Madam, I do nothing professionally.

I only do things for fun.

Children, please.

Conga line, baby. Let's go.

Jonathan's on the phone for you.

He says it's totally boring in New York.

No new clubs, no openings, no parties.

He could've come to mine.

I don't want to talk to him.

- Oh, come on, Mary.

- Don't be a dork.

Think about your trust fund.

Come on, darling.

Hello, Jonathan.

That was wonderful, darling.

Billy Eckstine he ain't, baby.

Don't call me baby.

And get out of my house, you creep.

Mary, honey, I didn't call you baby.

And I'm in New York.

And for God's sake, I sincerely hope

you don't think I'm a creep.

I was talking to myself, Jonathan.

That's what insane people do, dear.

You shouldn't spend so much time

by yourself.

Tell Jonathan I said hello.

If you don't get out of my house,

I'll have my father's guards throw you out.

Why, 'cause you ain't bad enough

to do it yourself?

- Will you leave me alone!

- No, I will not.

Listen to me.

I'm coming to France in a few days.

Your father has graciously given me

a week off.

Oh. That's lovely, Jonathan.

I'm sure you and Daddy

will have lots of business to talk about.

I bet he's your boyfriend.

It may seem strange to a hustler like you

but I happen to go out

with people my own age. Special people.

And they don't wear wedding rings either.

Then they must be wearing diapers!

Here's your future, framed in gold.

Pits!

- How are you doing?

- Cool. How you doing?

Man, forget it.

This girl ain't got no home training.

Remove this peasant from my party.

Take his friend, too.

I'm having trouble breathing.

Maybe if you took off your chastity belt

you could breathe a little more better.

How dare you?

When my ship comes in,

I'll never treat people like that.

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