Undeva la Palilula Page #4

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Let me introduce myself.

My name is Pista Hertog, engineer.

The lady is my wife, Olga Hertog

and the gentleman is Dr. Gogu, our friend.

- Pista, leave the gentleman alone!

- I apologize.

Professor, doctors are

hooligans and skirt-chasers.

What else? They're with those

nurses all night long...

With the patients almost naked

What is medicine? Why, it's quackery!

As the late Pantelica used to say:

Medicine is the only

state-subsidized fraud.

When a sick man comes to us,

what are we going to do?

Who can we cure?

What patients?

When they come to us,

they're either healthy, or already dead.

We, the doctors, are the

only ill people around.

Autopsy is a science.

The science that cuts men up.

Maternity is different.

It should take care

that no babies are born.

Why should they be born?

They'd only take up our seats at the table!

Pantelica was right.

Children are a bad omen!

Carry on...

You're too handsome.

Come on, Professor. 25 lei.

Is that too much?

Dad, let me introduce you

to Pusha the Bolshevik.

She welcomed the Soviet tanks in 1944.

That is Geta the Bombed.

The war was just over...

She got bombed by her husband.

You go ahead, I'll follow.

Thank you.

Good evening.

The Party is on our side!

Professor, the top class restaurant

"Grandiflora" was here a long time ago.

The owner was Bartolomeo's grandfather.

Ilie, tell us the story with the donkey.

What's it like, Ilie, to be alone in a

restaurant? The only one getting served.

Grandiflora...

I drink brandy, I drink wine.

Water is no friend of mine.

Long live our lazy bones.

Come on!

Ilie went nuts back then. He sold the sheep

and drank away the money at Grandiflora.

With his donkey.

I drink brandy, I drink wine.

Water is no friend of mine.

What could be sweeter than a moonlit,

linden-scented summer night?

True, there were no linden trees in Palilula.

But we had oleanders.

Gogu loved oleander.

As soon as it got warm, we went out

and partied till late in the night.

I was glad my dad was there, too.

He must be happy, I thought.

In the summer, the Boema terrace

became the hub of the world.

And the full moon blew our mind.

Where's Ilie?

Who's that?

Isn't that Capra?

And that one next to her?

Damn you!

Damn that motherf***er,

I should have killed her.

She got Pantelica killed, I'm sure.

She bit me!

Now you're gonna grow a tail and tits.

Who was that? I thought...

No one. She was alone.

Damn you!

I went to the cemetery

to hold Pantelica's place,

so he could come and have a drink with you.

Professor, Pusa loves you.

Would you spare some change?

Petrica, leave us alone.

Can't you see how tired he is?

She is wonderful. It

would be a pity not to.

Make our mouth into funnels

and our stomach into barrels!

Watch out, Soul, I'm going to drawn you!

Long live our lazy bones.

It was a fly, damn it.

Ilie, tell us the wolf story again!

The wolf story. The

professor doesn't know it.

Listen here, man.

This is incidental.

I mean, it's a real incident.

I'm not lying!

In 1953, it was a harsh winter.

F***ing wolf!

Boy, what are you doing here?

What are you doing

next to these dames, these men?

Is that why you studied so hard?

And you? What are you doing here?

- Who's there?

- Capra.

Go home.

Serafim...

Serafim!

Wake up. The hags have castrated Barza.

Speak clearly. Who castrated who?

Cover up that face.

Sing, girls. Sing.

Our Capra is pregnant. We're finished.

That idiot freaked us out.

The hags haven't castrated Barza.

Barza castrated the billy-goat.

Now the hags want to kill him. Let's go.

Eat this. This will give us strength.

And tonight we will

receive the holy gifts.

Barza lived with his hags,

his sister and Mitica

somewhere in the wilderness,

among the flies, by the pond.

They were Italians, settled here

who knows when - 50, 100 years ago.

Bartolomeo's grandfather

had brought them over.

They were housepainters and masons.

Now they bred frogs and sang like angels.

Barza was dirt-poor. But once a year,

a miracle came upon Palilula.

On the night of the Holy Gifts, somehow,

Barza would become as rich as Croesus.

His generosity then knew no bounds.

There were all kinds of rumors,

like he had a deal with some Italians

who came here for hard-to-find stuff:

Mushrooms, fireflies, wolves, who knows.

And Barza sold them frogs.

On the night of the Holy Gifts, they

delivered the money and picked up the goods.

And it was real money, back then. And

after that Palilula would party like mad.

- Hello, patients!

- Good evening doctor!

- Have you eaten?

- No, we haven't!

Neither did we.

Long live the 23rd of August

and the night of Saint Bartholomew.

Play it, guys!

Play it, guys!

We got this frog tradition

from the Italians.

Here in Palilula we eat them too.

And what a feast!

The boys

drag them out and chop their legs.

They undress them, boil them and we eat them.

Thousands of them.

Turn that thing off!

Comrade Gogu!

Is she really going to die, boss?

Poor woman.

Easy, Ilie, you'll get

wasted before midnight.

Boss, it really moves me...

Don't cry. It's just a play.

Doc, why don't you pay me a visit?

I got a butter stew

You should not eat that crap.

Isn't this woman dying already?

Shut up, we want to hear her.

It's no good. She's not dying.

Just look at her.

Barza, come on the drinks are cold.

Get up Ilie, she's dead.

What the heck...

That one was alive.

No Virgil, that was the frog's soul.

Garofita!

Garofita!

I'm not going.

I don't wanna lose my place in the queue.

I'm not going.

Garofita!

- What is it?

- Venena drowned in the pond, apparently.

Garofita!

Shut the hell up!

Viorica!

What do you know.

Garofita!

Viorica!

Garofita!

Viorica!

Garofita!

Viorica!

Garofita!

Viorica!

They searched for them in vain all night.

At dawn, the Hermaphrodite saw them

dancing at the bottom of the pond.

Venena and Separanda, the two vipers at the

drugstore, were gone for good.

Laurel and Hardy, their husbands,

never sobered up again.

Kiki!

One stormy night, this Kiki

showed up out of nowhere.

I instantly hated him.

He reminded me of someone, somehow.

What could be sweeter than making love,

and dying in your sleep?

Come on, doc, take a photo of me with

Jesus Christ, so I can send it to mom!

Alright, the photo's done.

Look, poor Ilie is dying. He's dead.

They're all dead.

Beware of the frogs' revenge. Palilula is

a desert now. Everything's burned down.

What do you mean, they're all dead?

They're all dead, just like that.

Poor Barza... He had a thing about flies.

And poor Ilie... Run over by the train.

Bartolomeo...

Gogu...

I don't understrand...

The Party does not

teach you to understand?

Why do you think Kiki

brought this camera along?

You never wondered why?

Didn't I tell you not to come here?

Didn't I tell you to run away?

Didn't I tell you we didn't

need pediatricians here?

You didn't get it, and

now Capra is pregnant.

Wait till the big fire

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