Up for Love Page #5

an opera house in Lige?

Actually, it's an extension.

Nonetheless... The little gentleman

must be a big architect.

- Mother...

- What?

Come on.

He's knee-high to a grasshopper

and handles huge projects.

Do you hear yourself?

What's wrong with you tonight?

I think he's fantastic.

How did you meet him? Is he a client?

Yes.

You're like your father. No sacrifice

is too great for success in business!

- I don't get it.

- He's completely smitten.

It's written all over his face.

- Not at all.

- He looks hot to trot to me!

He reminds me

of Mrs Lemaire's teeny dog.

He wanted to mount Mrs Fran;u's b*tch.

Remember, Philippe?

Of course you do.

- Is this really necessary?

- Oh, sorry.

I'm sorry!

Can't we even have fun any more?

Look, he's paying our bill.

Stop him!

Come on, if it makes him happy.

It'll make him feel important.

It can't be easy.

Well, that's done.

What's wrong?

Can I go on?

Go on what?

Believing in us.

What do you mean? I just introduced you

to my mother and stepfather.

Look...

It's not that simple.

I don't see what's complicated.

- You take up lots of space.

- Me?

Yes, you.

I'm always worried

about whether I'm thoughtful enough,

or if I'm hurting your feelings.

It's all about you.

- That's not true.

- Well, that's how I feel.

I wasn't expecting to meet

someone like you, it just happened.

It's great. But I'm supposed

to accept everything unconditionally?

Even with a normal man, it's not like that.

That's not what I meant.

Oh, damn! It's exactly what I meant.

It's not easy.

I'm sure there were other women

who left because of that.

Because it's not easy.

Am I wrong?

No.

Can I go on or not?

Go on driving me nuts? No.

No, Luchio. Not tonight.

I did warn you.

Be careful what you say, counsellor.

I could sue you for slander.

Listen...

Where did you hear that?

Bruno slept with the judge?

I'm sorry, Carsoni's ethics

are beyond reproach.

- What?

- You have a visitor!

Who?

- Alexandre?

- Yes!

OK, we'll change judges.

I said all right. Goodbye.

He so cute, you want to just...

- Is Bruno in his office?

- Yes.

Don't let him see him.

I don't want them to meet.

- Hi, there.

- Hi.

I was in the neighbourhood,

so I popped in to see where you work.

- Good idea.

- It was a great idea!

This is Coralie, our assistant.

- We already met.

- We already met.

We said it at the same time!

I still have work to do.

Do you want to come into my office?

- Yes.

- OK.

Fabulous sculpture.

It was a present from her ex-father-in-law,

the daddy of Bruno, her partner.

A little cup of coffee? A little cup of tea?

A little something?

A little glass of water?

- You coming?

- Yes.

- I have two little things to finish.

- Go ahead.

I didn't know you had curly hair.

- You like it better?

- No.

- Have you lost your mind?

- What?

- We can't change judges!

- This isn't the moment.

- I don't care!

- Bruno!

- This isn't the moment.

- It's ridiculous!

- I don't give a sh*t! Answer me!

- Stop it!

I want an answer. I won't go until...

It's taken.

- No need to get down.

- But of course.

- Alexandre, Bruno. Bruno, Alexandre.

- My pleasure.

Sorry, I didn't know you were...

Could you people knock on that door?

Sorry! I have his little cup of water.

- Thanks. - I didn't fill it

to the top, so it won't spill.

And ta-da!

Surprise! I brought you a straw.

We'll continue

this conversation in your office.

- Give me five minutes.

- Sure.

- Shall I keep you company?

- Sure.

You slept with the judge?

- He's not a real midget.

- Tell me. Did you sleep with her?

More like a Lilliputian.

He's small, that's all. It's a problem

with the pitulary gland... the putilary...

- Pituitary gland.

- Yes.

- Did you sleep with her?

- What's it to you?

Are you jealous?

What's going on?

In the past, you'd do anything to win.

- I've changed.

- No, you've given up.

There's a theory

about over-successful people and guilt.

One day it's too much

and they screw everything up.

- Don't be silly.

- Look at you.

You dump me, ruin your firm,

and fall for a dwarf.

Talk about being a loser.

That dwarf, as you put it,

is far above average. He's exceptional.

Next to him, you're...

you're not even this high.

You're nothing.

Leave her alone.

I've stayed cool until now,

but that could change.

- Did you follow me?

- No, I didn't follow you.

Your story with Diane is over.

She's with me now, so move on.

Are you threatening me?

I'm just saying that my patience

has limits, that's all.

I don't believe it.

Come on, get out.

You think your three feet two scare me?

I'm merely setting limits.

Diane made her choice and it's not you.

I think you don't get it.

- I'll smash your face, arsehole.

- Arsehole?

- Yes, arsehole.

- You can't call me an arsehole..

- Come on.

- Hey, big guy!

- Pick on someone your own size!

- Come on, come on!

Hey, midget, go for the jugular!

Come on, come on.

OK. Now that you've got the message,

I suggest we act like adults.

I'm having a party on Saturday.

You should come.

It would make Diane happy.

It'll show her that you're friends,

that you accept her new life.

Be a sport. See you Saturday.

I'm glad you suggested an outing.

It's been ages.

It'll give us a chance to talk.

Did you meet someone?

- You're unbelievable.

- You're my girl.

Is it serious?

Is he married? Divorced?

Not a client whose ex-wife ruined him!

- Of course not.

- So who is it? Do I know him?

- Yes, you do.

- Tell me!

- It's Alexandre.

- Alexandre...

- The Berthot boy?

- No, not him.

It's Alexandre...

We had dinner together last week.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing, sweetie. You were saying?

- I love Alexandre and want to marry him.

- Of course.

Mother! Watch out!

- He's a man like any other!

- Of course, sweetie.

Oh, my God! Mother!

No, not like any other.

He's head and shoulders above them.

Absolutely.

- Hey, watch it, lady!

- Look out!

The only thing that should matter to you...

I'm listening, sweetie.

The only thing that should matter

is my happiness.

Yes, your happiness, darling.

Nothing else.

What's he doing there? Go on, back up.

Unbelievable.

Big place here.

Must seem even bigger to you.

You see?

Being small has its advantages.

- Are there toilets too?

- They're first on the right over there.

Thanks.

- You OK?

- Yes.

I haven't seen your mother.

No, me neither. It's strange.

Where's Monique?

She should be serving guests.

- Will you excuse me?

- Sure.

Monique?

Napkins...

Sh*t! Sh*t!

Sh*t!

What are you doing? Pull-ups?

I'm going to fall.

Let me call Diane

so she can admire her hero in action.

No, don't do that!

Just watch me... Diane!

You're being small.

And you're proud

of stealing someone's wife?

- She's not your wife.

- Nor yours for much longer. Diane!

Excuse me.

This is a lose-lose situation.

Beat me like a man if you must.

You mean, like a duel?

- Yes.

- With swords? Pistols?

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