Valley Girl Page #2

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Come on. What about Julie?

That's a real tragedy. Dumped.

Jilted. Right in the toilet. My heart's broken.

I'm sure you got to be drunk.

That's what I've always enjoyed about you.

You're perceptive.

You know how to read a guy.

- I need help.

- Yeah?

I was wondering

if you'd step into my office?

God!

- No.

- Don't worry about it.

Oh, Jesus.

Wait, I got a great idea.

Let's do it.

Okay, smart guy. We're here. Now what?

Mingle. Blend in.

Right.

- Can I pick 'em, or what? Check it out.

- Why don't you lower it?

You don't need to raise up a flag or nothing.

Just looking for action.

Let's check out the eats.

What've we got going here, a bait shop?

It's sushi, don't you know? This is tuna.

This is flying fish eggs,

and that's sea urchin.

This is pistachio paste, isn't it?

Come on, Fred, dig in.

I think I'll just get something to drink.

Wait.

This is not right.

- How can this not be right?

- 'Cause what about Julie?

That's over.

She tossed me out.

Don't penalize me for what she did.

I'm the one that got hurt. I am.

- I've always thought about you.

- You have?

I thought about you all day.

- You want to dance?

- In another life.

I didn't either. I was just taking a poll.

Fred, I didn't know you were this good.

- At least I'm trying.

- What is this, points for effort?

I told you this place

was going to be a waste.

This place sucks.

- Well, well.

- What?

- Hot. Very hot.

- Where? Which one?

They're staring right at us.

Gross! Let's move.

Wait, let's see what happens.

I'm sure! Tell me all about it.

I'm going to talk to Ralphie.

- Bad luck, Fred. Yours is leaving.

- What do you mean, mine's leaving?

- She winked at you, didn't she?

- She did?

Yeah, don't let her get away.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Having a good time?

I'm trying.

That's good.

- What are you doing here?

- It's a party.

I know it's a party, but who invited you?

You mean you have to be invited?

That explains it.

- What?

- Why everyone is dressed so weird.

If I'd been invited,

I'd have known this was a costume party.

Right.

- I saw you once before, you know.

- Where?

At the beach.

That was you?

Do you think a girl should pet

on the first date?

Who are you, Bozo the Clown?

What's your sign?

Is this gonna mean we're going together?

What?

Is this gonna mean we're going together?

No.

What?

I think it means

you're a pretty lousy friend...

messing around with your friend's boyfriend

while he's in a bad way.

But I'll tell you what.

- What?

- I won't tell anybody if you don't.

Get out...

- I never said that.

- Did you?

- That wasn't you. I'm sorry.

- You know, football.

- I'm not playing this year.

- That was Rick.

Who's Rick?

How you doing, Tommy?

- Is she good?

- Oh, man.

She's a four-star lay, good buddy.

How's your mother?

She's dead.

...and the wind blows it up.

No, I want...

Why don't you get out of here?

You make me get out of here.

Crazy is the word-

Get up!

- You have nothing, f*ggot!

- Tommy! Stop it!

- F*** you!

- Get the hell out of here!

- I don't want to hurt you guys.

- You get out-

F*** you!

Jerk!

Kiss my ass!

You're good, man.

What were you doing in there,

kissing girls goodnight?

- Listen-

- Don't!

- I won't.

- Good.

That chick, Julie, she's truly dazzling.

Yep.

But she's not one of ours.

Hey, what the hell?

D*ckhead, what are you trying to do,

get us killed?

What the hell's the matter with you?

Sh*t, this is my mother's car.

Who the f*** was that guy?

And I was doing all right with that chick.

Who the f*** does he think he is?

Maybe he was her boyfriend.

Nobody is going to tell me

who I can score with!

I want this chick, she wants me,

so f*** it. We're going back.

My mom will sh*t

if she knows you're driving this car.

I really don't give a sh*t

what your mother thinks.

It's bad enough you got to be here.

Be far worse if I got the same treatment.

Wait a second. What are we doing here?

I don't have a death wish.

- They're cute, aren't they?

- Yeah, so swell.

- What if somebody comes?

- Don't worry about it.

Somebody could come.

I told you.

Hurry up in there!

- They can wait.

- Come on, man, I gotta go.

- Take a hike.

- Doug.

- Come here.

- No!

Okay. Lose out.

- I'm sure.

- Come on, hurry up.

I'm hurrying. Meet me later?

Will you?

- Creep.

- Thanks a lot, man.

- I can't believe he did it.

- I can.

I can't. But guess who's looking at you?

So I said, "Oh, my God,

I just can't touch that thing. "

Oh, God, it looked so...

So what? Tell me.

Awesome.

It's like shaking hands with your best friend.

Only, like, real fast.

Come on, let's go.

How many is it we've had?

- You getting high?

- Golly! Where did you get that?

- I'm making some lines here for you.

- Oh, wow!

How is it? Okay?

Hey, you're gonna lose your nose. Look out.

- Don't be afraid.

- What are you doing here?

Do you have a death wish or something?

- That's what Fred said.

- Fred said?

Never mind.

You live around here?

This is very strange.

- What are you doing back here?

- I forgot my comb.

Really, now?

To tell you the truth,

I thought that maybe you and I could...

We could what?

We could get out of here.

I don't think you'd be any more welcome

down there, right now.

Let's leave the party.

- I'm so sure.

- Cool.

I'll meet you out front.

Wait a minute. Where are we gonna go?

I don't care.

- What are we gonna do?

- Anything.

- Okay, but I have to bring my best friend.

- That's fine.

I'll be waiting for you.

God, I don't want to go! I told you.

- It's going to be fun.

- It is not going to be fun.

They're not even here.

Let's go back.

- I know they're around here.

- Where?

- Right there.

- Hey, come here.

Oh, no. Not those guys.

They're hoods. Juvenile delinquents.

- No.

- You've lost your mind.

- No.

- Look at them.

The rating scale is okay.

- Do this for me.

- I am freaking out!

- No.

- Come on.

Hi. I'm Fred. I like tacos and '71 cabernet,

and my favorite color is magenta.

- I'm Julie, and this is Stacey.

- Charmed, I'm sure.

I'm simply going to freak out and die!

- Would you get in the car?

- God!

I will pay whatever it takes to make sure

nobody breathes a word of this.

I'll be totally bummed out...

if anyone on Earth, outside this car,

finds out about this.

God, where is your sense of adventure?

Will you shut up?

I personally guarantee you,

you will have the time of your life tonight.

- You'll see things you've only read about.

- I'm sure.

I'm freezing.

- Please put the top up?

- Hope you don't mind if I change-

- This is the last time I take you anywhere.

- I'm sure.

- I like this song.

- Oh, God, I hate this song.

I hate this music.

Look!

No way, Bob!

Sweet cheeks and velvet thighs.

Hey, Harvey!

- I thought you were getting the mohawk!

- Nah, I wussed out.

I like this song.

Hey, Rico! What? You didn't! No way, man.

You didn't do that. I'll talk to you later.

Rad! What's doing?

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