Vampire Page #2

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That's why I built her this...

so I could take care of her.

All right? Here, come here.

Just take your jacket off.

And there.

Huh.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

It's kind of a...

it's not bad actually.

You see how easy it is...

I mean,

your knees and your hips?

The toilet over here...

here, try sitting down on this.

Come on.

It's very easy

on her hips and her back.

Uh-huh.

- Huh. Fascinating.

- Yeah.

She can't get up?

She can't leave the room?

No. Here, just try the door.

Go on,

try to get outside the door.

I dare you.

Wow.

Look, I gotta hand it to you.

You should probably

apply for a patent.

So what do you do

on your days off?

Me? Uh, nothing.

I just, you know,

take care of my mother.

Well, you gotta...

you gotta take her out

every now and then, you know?

Take her...

I don't know,

take her fishing or something.

Fishing?

Yeah. I like fishing.

How about you?

No, not... not really.

Well...

I know a great spot.

How about next Sunday?

Do you wanna go?

It's the perfect time of year.

I'll... I'll call you.

You don't mind, do you?

I'll call you.

Thanks for your time.

I think she likes you.

Who?

My sister.

Oh.

Lucy.

Lucy? Laura.

Yeah, sorry. Laura.

How about you?

What does she do?

She's a student...

police academy.

Whoa.

Are you okay?

I've been taking care of her

ever since my dad married her mom.

She...

she had kind

of a rough childhood. I just...

I want her to be happy,

that's all.

Like I said, I just...

I don't know

if that's a good fit.

It seems like a lot

of responsibility to me.

I had a good feeling about you

when I met you.

Call it a gut instinct.

And my gut's usually right.

Kind of goes with

the job, you know?

I'm telling you, when it comes

to judging character,

I am second to none.

I like your mom.

Hi, Simon.

I got out of class early,

so I came by.

I left a message

on your cellphone.

Did you get it?

How did you get

my cellphone number?

Abbot gave it to me.

- Is that a problem?

- Oh, uh, no.

No, it's... it's fine.

Can you take this?

It's kind of heavy.

You're hungry, right?

I'm gonna make you some pasta.

How's your

Um...

Hi, Mommy.

Do you remember me?

- Oh.

- No.

She doesn't like to be touched.

You have a lovely home.

Well, I hope you're hungry.

I'm sorry, Mommy.

Did I scare you?

I work with DNA research

at the university.

And we're looking for a connection

between genetics and suicide.

And if we can find that connection,

if we can find that suicide gene,

then we think that

we can probably prevent

a lot of suicides.

We can save a lot of lives.

But it's very very hard

to find blood from people

who have killed themselves,

from suicide victims like...

I know this is

a very strange request,

but if you do wanna die,

you could give me your blood

and you could help out

a lot of people?

Who are in the exact same

position that you're in,

a very similar situation.

You could save a lot of lives.

Look at me.

Wouldn't that be a nice legacy?

Wouldn't that be an amazing thing

to leave behind?

So... so...

so you want my blood?

Fine. I don't need it

anymore if it's...

what do you need me to do?

My car is just down here

if you wanna...

This is not the way to go.

This is... this is not

the way to go.

Let's just...

let's go this way, okay?

Okay.

Jack the Ripper, Albert Fish,

Ed Gein, Jeffrey Dahmer,

Richard Ramirez,

Andrei Chikatilo,

the Zodiac killer

and Ted Bundy.

Which one of those is a vampire?

Jeffrey Dahmer.

Jeffrey Dahmer

is my f***ing hero,

but that's just because

he was the ultimate pervert.

The truth of the matter is

is that everyone I just mentioned

is just a plain old serial killer.

So what is a vampire?

Someone who loves blood.

Someone who loves blood

is a vampire.

Renfield, Eclipse,

this is Blood Baron.

Nice to meet you. Eclipse.

Blood Baron,

you've been missed here, sir.

Renfield.

Let's get you a glass of wine.

Shitty vampire sushi party.

What do you think of these?

Like 'em?

They're certainly functional.

I mean,

if you were interested

in biting someone's jugular,

that would be

the instrument to use, I suppose.

I've been reading all of your posts...

quite radical.

And sexy.

If all of you could take your drinks

and please join me in the living room,

I have something

that I'd like to share with you.

If you guys wanna grab

some chairs from the kitchen.

Just throw them up front here.

Oh, except for there.

Renfield, Blood Baron,

could you guys actually

flip the couch around, please,

so it's pointed towards the screen?

Bram Stoker,

a real estate agent,

pays a little visit

to Count Dracula's mansion.

Now upon arriving

he stumbles across his private diaries.

Dracula finds out

that Bram has stolen his diaries

and begins to search for him.

Hey hey, could you just stop

spoiling the film, okay?

It's a silent film.

I have to explain it.

- And how long is this again?

- It's two hours.

- Two hours?

- Two hours.

All right, so Bram Stoker

steals Count Dracula's diary

and writes a book about it.

Dracula finds out and follows him

back to England.

That's basically where

we'll pick up, here.

Blood Barry.

Blood Barry,

are you all right?

Are you okay?

Sleepy?

I found this.

Is this yours?

Is that yours?

I know about her.

Thanks for hanging out with me.

Franny Pierce.

Marcia Lizinski.

Saw it all on the news.

Are you the one they call

the Blood Stealer

or the Vampire on some sites?

You know how careless that is...

leaving something like that

on your cellphone?

Do you wanna get caught?

Hey, guys,

we got the Vampire up here.

He's right here.

Don't think about killing me.

I'm not snitching on you.

I love you.

I'm your friend.

You can trust me.

You know how cool it is

for me right now,

being face to face

with the Vampire himself?

I knew there was

something different about you...

from the moment I met you.

Let's go for a drive.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Is this yours?

- Huh?

- Is this yours?

Oh, yeah.

Just a little hobby of mine.

I'm sorry, a hobby?

Yeah.

You can drive, here.

Try it out.

Let's try her, right here.

Try her?

Kill her.

I wanna see you in action.

It'll be fun.

Hi. 1921 Adam, please.

Sorry, he's in training.

You're his first passenger.

A cabbie never forgets his first

'til the day he dies.

What's your name, if I may?

My name?

Michaela.

That's a beautiful name.

Take a left up here.

F***, did you just see that plane

go down? Did you see that?

I swear to God,

I just f***ing saw it.

I'm sorry, do you want

to make a quick stop?

We need to... your fare's on us.

Is that okay?

Yeah, sure, I guess.

All right.

Hello.

Yeah, I'm calling to report

a plane crash.

Where is that?

Is that over...

is that Andrews Bay?

Yeah, somewhere over

Andrews Bay somewhere.

Me? I'm a cab driver.

Yes, I'm with a passenger

right now.

They... they want us to stay put

until the police can come here.

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