Vampire in Brooklyn Page #4

really strange feelings.

l felt l needed to talk to someone

that l could trust.

You come to the right place.

Tossin' and havin' strange feelings.

- And then l heard the voices.

- You heard voices.

- Yes, like they were inside my head.

- ln your head?

Really. Does this make sense?

ls it possible?

You'd be surprised what's possible.

l'm just afraid of ending up like

my mother, afraid l'm losing my mind.

Afraid you're going crazy, that's

good. lt's good to get that out.

You fear you're going crazy,

tell people. You need an outlet.

- l get it out in my paintings.

- You paint?

- Yes.

- lt's good to paint.

You know, when l was young,

l used to paint...

Preacher Pauley!

Come on. Everybody's waitin'.

- l don't know if right now's...

- Go ahead.

The Lord waits for no one.

Get your butt in here.

Right now is not a good time!

Goddamn!

What did he say?

God damns anybody

who doesn't glorify in His work!

lt's a hell of a night outside.

Let's do the sermon on the lawn.

Come on, sister. Goddamn!

Sh*t. Excuse me.

Can we bring it down just a little,

please?

Brothers and sisters,

please quiet down. Thank you.

We come here time after time and

we talk about the same old same old.

Hey, quiet down.

- We talk about Jesus.

- That's right.

Jesus said and Jesus wept.

Jesus heard and Jesus walked over.

l don't wanna talk about Jesus.

Cos as the big man teaches us,

there's two sides to every story.

Not one but two.

A story is not one-sided.

A story has duality.

There's two sides to every story.

Which brings to mind the phrase

''necessary evil''.

l know many of you

hear that phrase and say,

''That don't even make no sense to me.

''Can't be no such thing as

necessary - how's evil necessary?

''That don't match. That's plaids

and stripes, evil and necessary.''

You see, because without bad,

there is no good.

Without light, there is no dark,

you need both these things.

You hear what l'm saying?

lf every day is a sunny day,

well, then, what's a sunny day?

Well, the bottom line,

what l'm trying to tell you tonight,

is that evil...eeeevil...

is necessary.

Evil is necessary, thereby,

if it's necessary, evil...

- Evil...

- ..must be good.

Evil is good.

That's what l think.

Evil must be good, must be good.

- Let me hear y'all say it...

- Evil is good.

Evil is good. Take Brother Brown,

one of our strongest deacons,

pillar of stability.

Brother Brown was on Bushwick Avenue

last night with a two-dollar whore.

- l didn't know she was no whore!

- You lyin' dog,

- you said you was at your mother's.

- Now, that's evil.

When you tell your wife,

''l'm going to see Mama,''

then you go get you

a two-dollar ho, that's evil.

But Brother Brown had a good time

with that two-dollar ho.

You can push a two-dollar ho

and she don't have no limits!

Evil and good walk hand in hand.

- Evil is as evil does.

- l thought l'd find you here.

- What are you doing here?

- The captain has something for us,

info on those stiffs in the dumpster.

What's wrong?

- Remember Nikki.

- You f***ed her, didn't you?

We got us another one!

- F***ed who?

- You know damn well who. Nikki.

- You know damn well!

- What?

Nikki! The whore of Babylon.

That's what she was.

- The whore of Babylon.

- l never touched that girl.

Then you should change

your shirts more often.

- Her lipstick's on your collar!

- Lipstick on his collar!

What kind of man are you?

lt's a shame and a shock!

- lt didn't happen like that.

- Tell her.

Don't be ashamed of yourself, boy.

Don't be ashamed cos you went out

and got you a little ass!

- Ass is good!

- That's right!

l know many of y'all may be saying,

''How can he say ass is good?''

How y'all think y'all got here?

Ass is good!

Evil's good and ass is good.

And if you get you

a piece of evil ass...

Rita, where are you going?

Rita, you buggin'.

- This is ridiculous!

- Then forget it.

No. l left after you went to bed!

- You don't have to explain.

- No, she bumped into me.

l was at the station.

Five guys'll swear it.

Hey, she borrows

everything else of mine...

Of yours?

Did you say yours?

- That came out wrong.

- No, you said yours.

Forget it. You got your own rules,

you play by your own game.

Rita, you and l, we see things

different, we know that,

but that don't have to be

a bad thing,

it just means we have a lot to learn

from each other.

Now, look, l came here because

l got a line on those two John Does.

- Guess what?

- What?

They worked for Kitty Caprisi.

- The mob boss?

- Bingo.

Now, it's getting ready to rain.

Wanna get in the car?

Heads up, y'all. Hallelujah!

Get out of here, you piece of sh*t!

- You ain't got the balls, Guido.

- You made your point, Bear.

l could be a good stick-up man, Bear.

l'm the f***ing best.

- Here's a hot piece of ass.

- You kiss your mama with that mouth?

l didn't know she was with somebody,

l'm sorry.

- Sorry for the trouble.

- Get out of here, man.

Andrew, could you do me a favour?

- Get the f*** out of here.

- l'm going, all right?

Bravo! You should get a Oscar

for that sh*t, you the man, boy.

One minute you's you, then bam!

You're Al Sharpton!

- Like taking candy from a child.

- Can you teach me?

lt takes a master vampire

to transform oneself into a human,

especially to absorb their thoughts -

you have such messy minds.

Boss? l got an idea. Change into her

partner. That'll f*** her head up.

There must first

be a doorway of evil.

l've yet to discover such a thing

with this man Justice.

Frankly, it's beginning to annoy me.

- Me, too.

- ''Ristorante ltaliano''.

Perfetto.

lf one is to wine and dine a woman,

he must know

what to wine and dine her with.

- She's in there with that cop!

- And we're all going for a ride.

That's what l'm talking about!

Let's heat it up!

Rip off his head

and sh*t down his neck, boss!

- Act like a vampire!

- Where did you get that?

Bloomingdale's. l broke the window

and took it off the little white man.

l can use it more than he can. Look.

You're improvising. Very good.

You're turning into

my best ghoul ever.

Get your f***in' hands up, Sambo!

Move it!

- Move your ass!

- Take my hand, it's all l got.

Shove it up your ass, Meadowlark.

What are you, a magician?

- Give me your f***ing wallet.

- Brooklyn...

- Come on!

- ..l love this place.

Jesus Christ. Oh, you f***ing...!

- Holy sh*t!

- Dumbass.

They was making a pick-up on, let's

just say some business proceeds.

- A pick-up from who?

- A punk numbers runner,

name of Julius something or other.

l seen his girlfriend kick

the living snot out of him once.

lt's some big broad named Eva.

Lives on Court.

So you think this Julius

could've iced your boys?

- lced our boys?

- That putz couldn't ice tea!

He's almost as big a chickenshit

as Guido.

Drop your sh*t on the floor.

Nobody be smart.

Put your f***in' guns on the floor!

Come on, let's go! And you!

Empty the cash register right now!

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