Velvet Goldmine Page #2

quid? I've got money at home.

You must be mental.

- Oh please, I swear I've got it.

- Piss off!

Thanks!

- What's it for?

- Nothing.

Give it here then. Let's have a look.

Bloody nora! Our kid's

one of them pansy rockers.

- He's a f***ing puff, that one.

- No, he's not.

That's naff.

You're disgusting. You know that?

I'm just going out for a bit.

"Today in London officials

confirmed that the shooting...

...on the 5th of February

of singer Brian Slade... "

"... At London's Lyceum Theatre

was a publicity stunt... "

"mounted by the singer's

company Bijou Music Limited. "

"Manager Jerry Divine announced today that

his company meant no harm in their escapades. "

"That it was intended

solely as entertainment. "

"Very unfortunate, very sad and

unfortunate that in this day and age...

"... An artist's quest for artistic

freedom should cost him his career. "

- Warum, denken Sie?

- Why do you think?

"I dunno. "

"I dunno. It got too big, I guess.

Too... Got too schizoid, you know. "

"I mean... He thought he f***ing was

Maxwell Demon in the end, you know?"

"And Maxwell Demon...

he thought he was God. "

"Brian Slade sales plummet"

"Brian Slades U.K. Tour cancelled"

"Singer Brian Slade scheduled

to host teen Popswop awards. "

"Singer Brian Slade charged

with cocaine possession"

Brian Slade? Oh yes.

Quite well. Once upon a time.

So?...

So, what was he... what was he... Like?

Who's that? Brian?

Yeah.

Like nothing I'd ever seen before.

And in the end... Like nothing he appeared.

He was... Elegance,

walking arm in arm with lie.

His real name, in fact, was Thomas.

And his father owned a small tiling

business in suburban Birmingham.

But Brian never cared much for the suburbs.

As a young boy, he had the rare fortune of

spending a summer in London with his aunt.

A figure of some ill repute in the Slade

family, after she married a cockney...

...in the entertainment field and

followed him off to Deptford.

Brian's tender introduction

to the theatrical underworld...

...would leave a dramatic impression.

So what are you? A mod or a rocker?

Six of one, half a dozen

of the other, really.

Taking their cue from Little Richard, the

swank London mods short for modernists

...were the first to wear

mascara and lacquer their hair.

The first true Dandies of pop...

...and known to just about any indiscretion,

where a good suit was involved.

All right, lads?

Style... Always wins out in the end.

Cheers!

For Brian, the mods were

a glamorous call to arms.

Or at least to London,

where three years later...

...at the Sombrero Club in Kensington, I

would hear him sing for the very first time.

Everything, it seemed, started at the Sombrero.

No club in London had more notorious sway.

And there, at the centre of it

was Brian's American wife, Mandy...

...who's dramatic

transformation to London party...

...girl was a constant source

of amusement to us all.

You all know me. Subtlety is my middle name.

Its as subtle as the piece of skin

between my vagina and my anus ooh la! La!

Now whats is that called, does

anyone remember what that's called?

No mans land! Oh gosh, my geesh, darling!

Now, ladies of and gentlemen, boys and girls.

And whomever else who may

be in the house this evening.

It is my supreme pleasure...

...to introduce all you lovely

little minxes here tonight...

...to the Sombrero Clubs prettiest star...

...and my most shimmering hubby!

I give you Brian Slade!

Say, have a look at Miss Beautiful"!

- Have a look at the homosexual!

- A slut, mates, a slut in fancy clothes!

- Who is he?

- Some scrubber my dear, I do assure you.

- But not that scruffy, as I last recall.

- Ooh, youre wicked.

He wont be home tonight.

So, I introduced myself.

Told him I was developing my own management

company and on the look-out for new talent.

He introduced me to his wife,

asked me what sign I was...

...and before the week was out,

we were signing contracts.

You see, Brian believed in the future.

He despised the hypocrisy of the

"peace and love" generation...

...and felt his music spoke far more

to its orphans and its outcasts.

His revolution, he used to

say, will be a sexual one.

But in 1970, rock audiences bred on...

Credence Clearwater and the Beatles...

...were not entirely sure what to make

of this particular brand of revolt.

Somehow he got it into his head

that he had to perform in a frock.

Dont ask me why. I mean, I thought it was

a bit naughty, a bit of a giggle, but...

- Whos this geezer, then? -

Some shirt-lifter from Birmingham.

Get the f*** off! Cut the shite!

- Bugger off, you woofter!

- F*** off!

Darling? Darling, you were fabulous!

Every bit! I was beaming,

truly, like someones mum.

And they adored you! The whole lot

- Transported!

Transported? We went down

like a f***ing knackered lift!

Brian, I tell you, I think it's

simply a matter of presentation.

- And with the proper

back-up... - Back-up?

What happened to Judy Garland? What happened

to all your bloody torch song rubbish?

I know, I know, in a cabaret,

but in the context of a rock...

...show, I can see now, it's

just a little bit more dodgy.

The act was there, wasnt it?

The act was there. Just a...

Brian!

Lead singer and founder of the

greatest garage band know to mankind...

CURT WILD!

Curt Wild, founder of the

influential garage band The Rats...

...came from the aluminium

trailer parks of Michigan...

...where rock folklore claims

far more primitive origins.

According to legend, when Curt was 13, he was

discovered by his mother in the family loo...

"servicing" his older brother...

...and promptly shipped off for

The doctors guaranteed the treatment

would fry the fairy clean out of him.

But all it did was make him bonkers...

every time he heard electric guitar.

They despised him.

Yeah.

But when you're abused like that...

you know you've touched the stars.

I know. I just... I just wish it'd been me.

Wish I'd thought of it.

You will, luv. You will.

- Nice stuff.

- Thanks.

Devine. Jerry Devine. Personal

management. Im interested.

Oh, well, thank you, but I

already have management. He's...

Not in my opinion.

The truth is you have talent. That's obvious.

But it doesn't really matter

much what a man does in his life.

What matters... is the legend

that grows up around him.

Today, you're a talented

singer. That's all right.

- I can make you a star.

- And just how do you propose to do that?

I will tell you, sir...

When you pin me.

I've never in all my life...

May the best man win.

Earlier tonight, on the popular chart show

'Top of the Pops', newcomer Brian Slade...

...performed his hit single

'The Whole Shebang'...

...dressed in platform boots and

wearing glitter eye make-up.

A spokesman for the show, known for

showcasing pop's brightest stars...

...says theyve been deluged

with calls all evening.

The next day every schoolgirl in

London was wearing glitter eye make-up.

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