Very Bad Things Page #28

LIZ:

Stop! You stop right here. I don't

want to know anymore. I told you not

to do this Bachelor Party thing. You

were warned.

FISHER:

But...

LIZ:

No buts. I told you your friends

were Jackasses.

FISHER:

But...

LIZ:

No buts. I've waited twenty-seven

years, twenty-seven years I have

focused and prepared to walk down

that aisle. I will not be derailed!

I will not be embarrassed! I will

not be denied! I am walking down

that aisle tomorrow come hell or

high f***ing water!

Liz marches back to the car, gets in and slams the door.

Fisher just stares in shock.

EXT./INT. CHURCH - FISHER AND LIZ'S WEDDING

It's pouring rain outside.

Shots of guests dashing from their cars to the church.

Fisher's parents with Adam Jr. and Timmy, looking overwhelmed.

Upstairs:
Liz and her Bridesmaids help Liz get dressed.

Everyone looks depressed.

INT. CHURCH BASEMENT

Fisher and Moore in tuxedos. Boyd enters, shuts the door.

Fisher looks ill.

BOYD:

Okay, we're about two minutes out.

Moore, better take your position.

Moore looks at Fisher.

BOYD:

Chop chop.

Moore goes. A long tense BEAT between Fisher and Boyd.

BOYD:

This is a situation that defies

judgement. We have acted and showed

courage that is not of a kind known

by most.

FISHER:

I'm getting really tired of your

bullshit.

BOYD:

My what?

FISHER:

You've got a warped thought process.

Your brain doesn't function properly.

BOYD:

You care to add a little specification

to that slanderous accusation?

FISHER:

(snaps)

I'm talking about some bad, bad,

very bad things. Bad things! Those

are bad f***ing things!

BOYD:

Okay fine.

FISHER:

Fine? Fine what?

BOYD:

Whatever you say Kojak.

FISHER:

I'm serious.

BOYD:

I'm serious. I'm the serious one

here. I'm the one making the play.

I'm the Indian Runner. And I want my

money.

INT. CHURCH

The organ is playing. The guests are seated. Liz and her

father are waiting in the front hall.

LIZ:

I told Boyd two f***ing minutes!

INT. CHURCH BASEMENT - CONT'D

FISHER:

What money?

BOYD:

Blood money. Insurance dollars that

you have thus f***ing far decided

not to tell me about at all. In no

way have you mentioned that money.

And I find that to be very very

offensive.

FISHER:

You're sick.

BOYD:

(veins pulsing)

And if you think you can f*** me,

don't. Cause I'm f***ing insulated

Fisher. Protected. Backed up on

floppy. Do you get me? I want my

f***ing money!

FISHER:

Not a prayer.

BOYD:

I'm a lifesaver. A lighthouse. Up

all night in the rain, in stormy

gale force wind, tornado and f***ing

earthquakes. I stay lit for you. I

stay lit. I don't go dark. I never

go dark!

FISHER:

You need help.

Fisher turns away. BOYD combusts. He leaps on Fisher with a

wild cry.

BOYD:

I want that money!

Boyd and fisher fight like animals; choking, pounding,

mauling, a fight to the death. Fisher is losing, Boyd is

choking the life out of him, killing him. Fisher is going

down, eyes rolling back, he's dying, until...

CRASH. Boyd's head is caved in from behind. REVEAL Liz

wielding a big, heavy crucifix. Boyd slumps to the ground.

Fisher gasps for air. Boyd stirs. Liz beats him repeatedly

with the crucifix until he's dead as a door knob. Fisher is

stunned. Liz tosses the cross. Miraculously, only one perfect

droplet of blood has gotten on her wedding dress. She flicks

it off with her finger.

LIZ:

(composing herself)

Here comes the bride.

Liz gathers up her train and marches out. Fisher looks at

Boyd, a bloody dead mess.

THE WEDDING:

Fisher joins Moore at the alter. JUDGE TOWER smiles warmly

at Fisher.

MOORE:

Where's Boyd?

FISHER:

(whispers)

Downstairs in the closet.

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