Very Bad Things Page #8

ANGLE ON:

MOORE crazed with the rhythm of the "Chemical Brothers,"

jumps up and down on the table.

ON BALCONY:

Fisher and Adam power shooting Tequila.

FISHER:

The bucks gonna stop right here.

(pounds his chest)

If my son doesn't know the six New

England states, if he has trouble

with geography, I won't stick it in

his face. I'll help the little guy.

I'll put him in the car and take him

out there. I'll take him to Maine

for a big Lobster dinner, go skiing

in Vermont, hot dogs at Yankee

Stadium... I won't stare him down.

ADAM:

Don't ever stare him down.

FISHER:

I won't do it.

ADAM:

Don't eyeball your kids.

MOORE:

On the coffee table, dances the beasty dance.

THE BAR:

BOYD:

The Mexicans would love it. They're

dying for a little order down there.

They need direction.

MICHAEL:

They need leadership.

BOYD:

That's what I'm saying. Let the

Israelis straighten it up. They got

plenty of room down there, number

one. Plus, and this is just a plus,

they kind of look alike -- the Jews

and the Mexicans. So I think on a

whole your average Joe Mexican is

gonna have less of a problem getting

his head around the whole assimilation

thing. Am I right?

The DOOR BELL RINGS.

BALCONY:

ADAM:

I tell mine that they're little men.

I tell them they're strong. They

make me feel joy. I let 'em know. So

they really know that I need them

just as much. You know. Just as much

man. And you know, you're their

godfather...

FISHER:

I know and I'm honored...

ADAM:

If anything ever happens to me...

FISHER:

I know...

ADAM:

Y'see? That's the real point here.

That's what I'm driving for, when

the big storm comes and knocks down

all the forests and the rocks fall

down and the leave's are bare. What's

left? The little trees, the little

fellas that the storm didn't see.

The tiny little...

Moore is on the balcony.

MOORE:

The stripper's here.

ADAM:

(bombed)

Excellent.

He and Fisher stagger aside.

HOTEL SUITE:

Boyd introduces TINA, a devastatingly sexy Asian girl, to

all the boys.

BOYD:

Gentlemen, this is Tina.

The guys, wasted, attempt to greet Tina.

TINA:

Who's the lucky groom?

The guys point at Fisher, roaring. Tina presses her lips to

Fisher's ear.

TINA:

Hi Fisher.

Boyd dims the lights, cranks up the MUSIC as the guys stumble

for position on and around the couch. Tina starts to move,

very sexy.

Michael tokes a joint.

MICHAEL:

God, I love women.

TINA'S DANCE MONTAGE

SERIES OF SHOTS:

TINA dances, slowly peeling off her clothes.

The guys are into it. Michael seems especially turned-on.

Tina moves in on Fisher, starts a very nasty lap dance...

somehow incorporating a rubber hose.

The guys hoop and holler...

Michael is mesmerized...

Tina grinds on Fisher's lap, touching her nipples...

Michael's going crazy... He tries to touch her, she slaps

his hand away...

Fisher can't take it anymore...

Tina relents... moves on...

Michael reaches for her leg like a dog in heat.

She passes over him, teasing, tormenting him, and settles

onto Adam's lap.

The guys roar in approval... Michael glowers...

Adam turns bright red as Tina arouses and rides him...

Michael starts to burn...

The guys egg Tina on, she gets off on Adam's shyness, rubs

her breasts in his face...

The guys are howling...

Tina sucks one of Adam's fingers into her mouth...

Michael looks like he's going to explode...

Adam's overwhelmed, he politely bails out...

BOYD:

(whispers to Fish)

She's all your's Fish. Anything you

want. Happy bachelor party.

FISHER:

I can't.

MICHAEL:

(jumps up)

I'll take a ride.

FISHER:

Go for it.

MICHAEL:

(to Tina)

Come on.

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