Very Good Girls

- I can't do it.

- No, you can. The question is will you?

This is no great illusion

When I'm with you

I'm looking for a ghost

Or invisible reasons

To fall out of love and run

screaming from our home

'Cause we live in a house of mirrors

We see our fears and

everything's our songs

Faces and second-hand clothes

But more and more we're suffering

Not nobody, not a thousand beers

Will keep us from

feeling so all alone

But you are what you love

And not what loves you back

That's why I'm here on your doorstep

Pleading for you to take me back

Is that a good one?

What the hell was that?

Flock of these.

Very funny.

You are what you love

Look at that guy. Slut Speedo.

Cold water makes them shrivel up.

How would you know?

We're really going to do this?

You can wuss up but I'll

be 20 bucks richer.

You're just gonna take it off right

here, with everyone looking?

That was the idea.

Yeah.

I can't do it.

Yeah, you can.

The question is will you?

Oh, no.

You think because your eyes are

closed no one can see you?

Screw you.

Get in.

I can't swim!

- Yes, you can.

- No, I can't.

I don't like waves. I hate waves.

And you just remembered this?

Oh, no.

You're naked!

I know!

We just came over to tell you

you have the best ass on this beach.

What means this?

You French?

We are Romania. No English.

Nice.

- Wanna go for a walk?

- Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

She can use her tongue,

though, right?

- Mm-mm.

- Where you going? Come on.

I'm doing it.

Look, mom.

You didn't want to stay and see what

your special prize was going to be?

You mean my really

special gang rape?

Oh...

Hey, what's the matter with you?

How about "I'm sorry,"

"excuse me" or something?

You can use your tongue.

Can't you?

Sorry.

You're selling ice cream.

Yeah, amazing powers of observation.

Can I have one?

Which one?

What's good?

Uh, they're all sh*t.

Recycled industrial waste.

The red, white, and blue, please.

That camera yours?

No.

You don't have to be such a dick.

She's just trying to be nice.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Your mouth is so blue.

I think someone hurt him.

That makes it okay for

him to be an a**hole?

Oh, come on.

You liked him, too.

Hey.

Lilly.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, what time is it?

Uh, I don't know.

Maybe, like, 6:
00?

Sh*t.

I hope Norma's still

with a patient.

Good luck. I'm going to take

my award-winning ass home.

Okay.

Please don't do that.

Return my bike.

Lillian, where have you been?

I told you this morning,

brighten beach.

You took it all the way to Rockaway?

All the way to Rockaway.

Okay, if you knew you

were going to be this late,

- you could've had the courtesy to call.

- My phone died.

Joy would like to spend some

time with her family, too.

- Well, dad's still in the office.

- That is beside the point.

You need to eat something

besides noodles.

I don't like fish.

It's disgusting.

- It's your dinner.

- My disgusting dinner.

You know what?

That's enough.

- Joy?

- Yeah.

Why don't you go home to your family,

and the girls will clean up.

Lillian, please go tell your father

that we are going to be

late for the concert.

He can't still be with a patient.

You stay there and eat some protein.

And take your shoes off.

You're tracking sand

all over the house.

Did you tell him?

He was with someone.

What is wrong with you?

Edward, please go get changed.

We're going to be late.

It starts at 8:
00.

Okay, I'm going.

Uh...

Sorry, I'm...

Edward, come on.

We're going to be late.

Coming.

Al Franken.

Al Franken is a God damn comic.

He's good, but what's the

name of that show he was on?

And she's the best civil

rights attorney in New York.

What is she going to do, go to

Wisconsin and work for some guy

who's on comedy central?

NBC. SNL is on NBC.

Jon Stewart's on comedy central.

Thank you so much for that critically

important piece of information.

Hey, get your ta-tas all

sun burnt at the beach?

Ta-tas. Really?

That's cute.

You told him?

No. You know you're

an a**hole, right?

How about we change the subject?

Sure, we could talk

about politics again.

Well, we could talk about

your two favorite subjects...

television and body parts.

- A**hole.

- That's a body part.

He's 16.

What's your excuse?

Karl, come on.

So how's that

tour-guide thing going?

My boss is a perv, and I

have to wear a uniform.

Well you have a straight shot

into the masonic lodges

of the United States.

That's true political power.

So when do you head out for school?

Oh, that's right. Yale.

Whiffenpoofs.

An Ivy-covered thing...

Lay off her, dad.

Orientation is the first

week in September.

They're not telling you you have

to change your orientation.

I said stop it.

She doesn't come from a family where

you have to train for dinner.

What's the point of dinner then?

Okay, great, you guys

enjoy your meal.

Let's go.

You just walked in on your father

boning some random patient,

and you don't know

what you're upset for?

Does your mom know?

- Are you going to tell her?

- Are you crazy?

Everybody okay out here?

Dad, go away.

Your parents screw around.

I think they just

talk about it a lot.

I can't believe that you

were talking about sex.

Well, apparently in my house you

don't really talk about it.

You just do it.

We're the last ones.

On earth?

At Erasmus, at St. Anne's.

That's basically the same thing.

We're going to f***ing college,

and we're still virgins.

We've got to get over this hump.

You didn't say that.

Persons of the male

gender are required.

Out the windows to

your right and left

are the air ducts to

the Holland tunnel,

and if you smell roasting coffee,

that's because general foods

built their coffee processing

plant in Hoboken in 1846.

There are some people who say

you can still smell the coffee

from the other side of the river

even though the plant

closed in 1992.

You're probably ready for an

iced coffee right about now.

This is the end of our tour.

Gratuities are appreciated.

Please be careful

getting of the boat,

and enjoy the rest of your

visit to the big apple.

- Hey, girl.

- Hi.

Norma? Don't you ever

have to call home?

Only when I need bail money.

Sh*t, I forgot to tell you

what happened last night.

So I... God, I went out to

dinner with Danny and Kate.

This, like, obscure Italian

place in the village,

and the waiter turned out to be him.

Who's that?

Um, the ice-cream guy on the beach.

His name's David, David Avery.

You just ran into him?

Not exactly.

What do you mean?

He had a book of matches

from Grotta Azzurra next to his

camera at the beach that day.

I can't believe you dragged

your parents to a restaurant

because you saw a book of matches.

Okay, you don't have to

make me feel bad about it.

I'm not. I'm just...

it's like...

Didn't you have something

you wanted to tell me?

Uh, Fitzsimmons.

He came on to you again?

No, he... he just wants

me to give a tour

to a boat load of FBI agents.

Danny's going to love that.

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