View From The Top Page #3

[ Donna laughing ]

-Oh.

-Yeah.

Oh, you know, we're gonna have

a little goodbye party

Friday night

from 7:
00 to whenever.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'm probably

not gonna make it.

Why not?

I can be happy for you

that you're leaving for an hour.

But 7:
00 till whenever,

the smile won't last.

Yeah, our timing is

kind of terrible, huh?

I had a really good time,

and I was hoping you'd be a jerk

so I wouldn't feel like I was

missing out by moving to Texas.

Well, I'm parked out there.

Yeah, I'm...

Right.

So...

[ Sighs ]

The only kiss we got here

is a goodbye kiss,

which, as kisses go,

not my favorite.

So...

[ Clears throat ]

-Goodbye, Donna Jensen.

-Bye.

Good luck in school.

Oh, thank you.

Don't run with scissors.

Why can't all choices

be simple?

Why can't they all be

window or aisle?

Coffee or tea?

Not career or romance.

JOHN:

B. That's a fun one.

Now take off.

[ Laughs ]

-Hi.

-Hi.

I'm John Whitney.

Head of the Royalty flight-

attendant trainee program.

Welcome and

congratulations, Dana.

It's Donna.

Sure. Okay.

Good to see you, Mary.

It's Christine, actually.

Sure. Okay. Great.

What we have here is your

Royalty Airlines amenities kit

containing airport codes

and regulation manuals,

your registration packet,

campus rules,

and information

about our mentor program.

Yeah.

You two will be staying

in dorm C.

That's a fun one. Yeah.

Questions?

None. Good.

All right.

Take off.

-Hi.

-Hi, Cindy.

-Oh, my God.

-Janette.

Sure. Okay.

Sally Weston is a mentor?

Sally Weston!

So, who is this

Sally Weston person, anyway?

Who is Sally Weston?

Only the author

of "My Life in the Sky."

Hmm.

Sally Weston represents

an ideal

of poise and beauty

and accomplishment

that every flight attendant

should strive to achieve.

Oh, I like her hair.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

We'd love to.

Oh, my God.

Would you like to ride

in my beautiful balloon?

Would you like to ride

in my beautiful balloon?

We could float

among the stars together

You and I

For we can fly

Up-up and away

Howdy!

Welcome aboard!

ALL:
Howdy!

More white wine, girls?

ALL:
Yes, please.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How about you, Randy?

Just consider me

one of the girls, Mr. W.

This is a really big house

you have, Mrs. Weston.

Thank you.

Jack built it.

Along with the rest

of Rancho Esmeralda community.

-The whole thing?

-With my bare hands.

How did you all meet?

Oh, that is a cute story.

Jack was flying to Maui to build

the Kaanapali Towers resort.

I was serving him.

This was first-class.

He must have pushed

that call button 20 times.

"More warm nuts.

More warm nuts."

No man alive could eat

that many warm nuts.

So then,

when I saw this huge pile

of warm nuts under his seat,

it hit me.

It wasn't the nuts he wanted.

It was me!

ALL:
Oh!

Where have you been

all my life, Mr. Man?

What was it like, Mrs. Weston,

when you started flying?

Sally, please.

Oh, it was wonderful.

The exotic cities.

Yeah, I hear all those

Europe guys are uncircumcised.

Nope. Not all.

So, is it difficult to get

those international routes?

-You have to have seniority.

-Should I apply now?

And even then, you have to

speak several languages

and serve impeccably.

Oh, but it was worth it.

It was different then.

People dressed for flights.

It was like every night

going to the opera.

Every night was...

Magic.

-Oh!

-[ Laughs ]

-You scared me.

-Sorry.

There's something

I want to show you.

This is all yours?

You bet.

It's everything I wanted.

You can have everything you

want, too, if you stay focused.

Follow your head,

not your heart.

What do you mean?

I sense something in you, Donna.

Something special.

What is it?

Hunger.

You do?

Mm-hmm.

I had it myself.

I wanted Paris.

First-class international.

And nothing less.

So today this is all mine.

You're just like me, Donna.

My old uniform.

Oh, that is so beautiful.

Well, of course it is.

We're Royalty.

Oh, it suits you.

Feel the fabric.

It's so...

Soft?

And luxurious?

Paris.

First-class international.

Donna, say it.

Paris.

First-class international.

It's the only road

to happiness.

Paris.

First-class international.

It's your destiny.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Ten-hut!

At ease.

[ Chuckles ]

Welcome aboard.

You should all be very,

very proud.

The simple fact

that you're here

at the Royalty Learning Center

means you've joined

a very special family.

The Royal...ty family.

Our first goal

here at Royalty Airlines

is to bring back the style

and the glamour

to the art of flying.

In the coming weeks,

I'll impart to you

the necessary hands-on training

for you to function

at the highest level.

Up there.

But don't expect an easy road.

[ Laughing ]

No, no, no.

An easy road -- comma --

don't expect one.

I will not hold your hand.

I'm not even gonna touch it.

[ Laughter ]

Now, what I want all of you

to do is to stand up.

Come on. Let's go.

Stand up.

And I want you to look

underneath your seat. Go ahead.

Taped to the bottom,

each of you will find a $1 bill.

Now, what did we learn

from this exercise?

We learned you have to get off

your ass to make a buck.

[ Laughter ]

Down.

[ Chuckling ]

Thank you.

Now, we don't actually learn

to make bucks here,

but we do learn

to treat our passengers...

...Iike royalty.

Yeah.

So, shall we get started?

[ Buzzer ]

There's an oxygen mask

up above you...

ALL:

On a hidden shelf.

Before helping the people

who love you,

put it on yourself.

-Excuse me, miss.

-Yes?

This is first class.

I want my hand towels.

I want my little booties.

And I want my warm nuts!

Warm nuts.

Here you go.

You call these warm nuts?

I've felt warmer nuts

on a polar bear!

-Stop it!

-[ Woman gasps ]

No.

What did we learn here?

Upon encountering a DP,

or a disgruntled passenger,

take the following steps.

"A" -- Listen.

Two -- Acknowledge.

And "C" -- Explain.

And on a more personal note,

I have actually felt

a polar bear's nuts. Yeah.

Quite toasty warm.

[ Buzzer ]

Get those masks on!

Louder!

[ Muffled ] There's

an oxygen mask up above you

on a hidden shelf.

Before helping the people

who love you...

JOHN:

We learned to keep our heads,

to stay calm, and to not get

freaked out, okay?

Just remember

the H.A.L.T. principle.

Disgruntled passengers are

hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

and have a skewed vision

of the world.

Okay.

So that's H.A.L.T.S.

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired,

skewed vision.

H.A.L.T.S.V.W.

Go!

"Asses the window --"

Okay. Stop.

CHRlSTlNE:
What?

It's assess the window.

Not "asses" the window.

You put the wrong em-phasis

on the wrong syl-lable.

...with a skewed world view,

so really,

it's V.I.C.T.I.M.S.W.V.

But you get my point.

Assess the window!

Is it good to go?

Drop! Drop!

Remove your shoes!

Don't take anything with you!

Whoa! Yes.

Eleven seconds!

The trainee record!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Mumbling ]

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