Virgin Territory Page #2

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No one speaks

to him like that.

This is the house of God,

and I speak with his voice.

Who are you?

I'm the servant of God.

I speak with his voice.

You ran across of our Lord.

When did you last take your confession?

The plague that walks our

streets, steals our soul.

Its the Armageddon.

See your face again?

I'll take your blood,

send it to your maker.

Gerbino!

Is he dead?

Lorenzo Di Lamberti?

If I were you, I'll

consider him dead

I've never talked, such

bollocks in all my life.

Thank God for

being a priest..

Is this it?

I thought you'd say

could get a carriage?

This is Uncle Bruno.

He's not very bright

but he's very strong.

Isnt that right

Uncle Bruno?

And he's a virgin.

Aren't you Uncle Bruno?

I am.

I'm saving myself.

-Who's that?

-It's the priest, Father Tindero.

If this to be a wedding,

you'll need a priest.

After hanging around in a square for

a couple of hours, waiting for Pampinea.

We discover she'd gone to a convent to escape

from Gerbino and wait for her Russian Count.

What better place to preserve her virginity

than amongst other virgins?

Or so she thought.

-Who's that man?

-He's our gardener.

Sent from heaven.

-He's dead and dumb.

-What?

He can't hear or

speak a word.

How sad. He looks as if he have

alot to say for himself.

Hear no evil,

speak no evil.

Come here!

Now jealousy is

a funny thing.

It creeps up on you.

Take you by surprise.

Distracted, Pampinea's Russian

Count have slipped from her mind.

What is that?

I am here.

Hello.

I bring gifts for you, your

wife and your daughter.

Soon to be my wife.

You are Pampinea's father,

Yes?

I am Pampinea's father.

No

No?

I am Gerbino Della Ratta,

Pampinea's husband to be.

Sir, there has

been a mistake.

Pampinea Anastasi is suppose

to be married to me.

Count. You don't mind

me calling you a Count?

You look like a big

Count to me...

Pampinea Anastasi

soon to be my wife.

You just didn't hear about it...

That is a mistake.

So you bring me, all the way from Novgorod

to tell me, that Pampinea Anastasi...

is marrying a man, who is

old enough to be her father?

I did not bring you here,

but I suggest you leave.

Florence is very bad for the

health at this time of year.

Gerbino Della Ratta.

Della Rat...Huh?

A rat is a small furry animal.

Yes?

Yes.

Yes, I thought that much.

Sir!

I'm Linguino, servant to Pampinea

Anastasi. She's safe and well.

And no matter what you hear,

is waiting for your arrival...

This letter will give you instructions on

how to get to her villa in the country.

She'll meet you there

for the wedding.

Sir, you are in danger here.

You want to ride straight to the villa.

Be there as soon

as you can.

For Pampinea,

I will do this.

We know you cannot hear

us or speak to us.

But to us, you are so beautiful like an angel

sent from heaven to bring us joy.

And we pray, that God might restore the

miracle of speech to you and your hearing.

So that you can hear

the birds sing and...

-Get on with it!

-I am!

-He has no idea what you're saying.

-Then you do it!

We know that this morning, you met

Sister Catherina in the orchards

and then Sister

Melissabeta in the granary.

We want what

you gave them.

And we want it now.

Come on.

There to Florence, there

I was, stuck on the cart.

This Uncle Bruno farting

more than the horse.

and Miss randy-pant banging

about being a virgin.

Truth is, those that rattle on

about it, cant wait to do it.

God, there she

goes again.

I'm very proud of my virginity,

Melissa. And so is Dioneo.

The boyfriend, Dioneo.

He's suffering from terminal

randiness as well.

Never done it in his life.

Dioneo!

We don't indulge in sex.

Do we?

Not in broad daylight, in the middle

of the road, we don't. No.

I say, we believe in no

sex before marriage.

We're happy to wait,

aren't we?

Forever my love.

Liar.

Who's that?

Are they waving at us?

No, I think they're

waving at me.

See what they want.

Quick before they come!

Me?

Run before they

come into Filomena!

No, No.

You go. You go.

Do we want any

milk or bread?

They said their produce

is very fresh...

and we might want to sample

it, back at their farm.

Its too late.

We can get to them.

Come on.

Come on!

Help yourself.

Fresh milk,

there it is.

How do you get

milk out of that?

City boys.

Where we come from,

milk come out of the jug.

I bet you could do it,

if you tried.

Show us.

This is how its done.

See how its fit nicely

fit into my hands?

I love this thing in my hands.

Don't you, Mira?

Wonderful.

You'd almost say a little

firmer would be better.

Too late,

can't stop now.

Take it firmly in your

hands, and squeeze.

Stroke up.

And pull.

I love this.

Its coming.

I can feel it.

A little strong?

A little faster?

It's coming!

Milky white, hot.

Please! Yesona,

let do it!

Dioneo. Just what are

you doing with that cow?

"Yesona, let do it!?"

Disgusting.

Disgusting.

-I told you, we wasn't there for the milk.

-There's the maid.

Those shou not touch!

Remember?

That include beasts and barns,

especially ones with tits and hairy armpits.

Piss off, its over! You'll never have

sex with me as long as you live!.

Sometime later, I heard that the

cow was emotional disturbed...

by these events, and

never gave milk again.

Poor cow.

It's a sin what you just said.

And the other two.

Yes, your right.

Its a sin.

A delicious sin.

The four of you in one day!

You should be ashamed.

I think your jealous.

Huh

I hope you'll drown.

Get him, now!

Andruccio.

What's that?

See that?

It's fantastic.

I want that!

Get me that!

Up your ass, ?!

Are you leaving, Father?

From the church...

Gerbino.

He was afraid of me,

wasn't he?

He was afraid of the cross

you wear around your neck.

Allow me to make a

small observation.

All this talk

of virginity.

Yes?

A kissed mouth doesn't

lose its freshness.

like the moon, its

rises new again.

-Very poetic I'm sure.

-Just an observation.

It wasn't me

that said it.

What about

the wedding?

I'll be there.

But first I had to make

a pilgrimage of my own.

Yesona.

Yesona!

Yesona, I'm here.

I love you

my dear.

Yesona, lets take this

ride into the sunset.

You filthy disgusting

beast!

Every day I see you...

I'm drawn to you.

Every night I sleep...

I am with you.

Everyday...

Every night.

I think it farted up with you

Filomena, that's the true of it.

Well, when it comes to farting,

Uncle Bruno, you should know.

Dioneo...

Dioneo!

Stop this sulking!

I'm not sulking.

Please, Dioneo.

Look at me.

Look at me.

I didn't mean to call

you a filthy beast.

A sweetie pear.

Little honey cucumber.

Please, I'm not a child,

or a cucumber.

But I love you.

I love you, cucumber.

-I love you.

-It was only a dream.

I would never be unfaithful

to you, you know that.

Its like being licked by a dog

when you do that, it really is.

Hey listen to me. I love

you and I forgive you.

Look. Your forgiven

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