Vivacious Lady Page #2

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Keith, may I use your drawing room?

I'll buy you a berth.

Sorry, there's no more space. I'll

sleep here. Drawing room A, car 71.

Would you, er...?

Keith, I...

Listen...

The most wonderful thing's happened.

Some would say it's a miracle...

Don't you care what people say.

But there's nothing particularly

miraculous about it! It's chemistry.

Anodes attract cathodes...

Don't tell me - you're in love.

No. No. I'm married.

Married a cathode? That's

a funny name. Her name's Francie.

Oh, Francie?

That's a very pretty name. Francie.

That's my girl!

Wait a minute, boss! Take it easy.

Hey! What are you

trying to do, lose me?

Oh, no.

I'm never gonna lose you.

You better not.

It only took a day to happen

but I'm in love with you for always.

Think you can stand it?

Well, I'll try.

You...er... You can move in.

What did Keith say?

He was a little startled. I bet.

Oh, do you mind, er...he and I...

Well, do you mind if we go in alone?

She has claustrophobia... Yes.

Now I know I've heard everything.

I've never been married before and...

Frightened?

Frightened? No. I'm never

gonna be frightened again.

Now you're my wall to lean against.

Well, I've always tried to be

a strong man in a conservative way.

Well, my strong and conservative man,

carry me across our first threshold.

Oh, no, Francie.

No, that's... People did that...

That's old...

Beg your pardon...

That's all right.

I know how it is.

Well, how is it?

Can't a man make a mistake?

He could knock!

Isn't this Drawing Room A, car 71?

Yes, this is Drawing Room A, car 71.

Here's our ticket. But you see...

What are you gonna do about this?

Throw them out! They're going.

We'd rather stay, if you... Then

the conductor will throw you out...

No. This is our drawing room

and I won't budge.

Good! I was wondering

what we'd do all night.

Every time I take a trip with you,

something happens.

And when I don't, something happens.

I know what I'm married to.

You haven't fooled me,

not one minute. But I don't care!

Look, dear. Why can't you keep quiet.

Before I pin your big ears back!

You heard him! You're witnesses!

I wish you had a mother to go back to.

I wish I had another husband!

I'll get you one at the next station.

You're gonna be a nasty old man.

There's room in the observation car.

I guess she got frightened.

Frightened of what?

Another peep out of you and

you'll sleep in the observation car.

Francie, you'd better hurry!

Peter, what is a professor's wife

meant to do? I forgot to ask.

Oh, mostly just keep the professor

happy, that's all. Ready?

You're gonna like Old Sharon.

You're gonna like my family too.

And they'll love you. I hope so.

Never having had one of my own,

I have an illusion about one.

Good moring. Keith! Francie! What

are you...? Oh, yes, I married you.

Ah, ah, she married me! Oh, that's

all right, then we're cousins.

You can use that drawing room now

if you want. Don't get fresh.

The old man looks calm considering

you're married. I haven't told him.

Oh, you haven't told him. No. Save

me two seats on the 50-yard line.

I'm gonna tell him. I'm old enough

to know what I'm doing.

It isn't as if I ran off and got

married. I thought it out carefully.

If he has anything to say,

he can say it to my face.

Maybe I'd better wait till

you straighten things out.

Come to my place... No! No.

Then you could tell them.

I'll come over later. I don't like

that... Don't you think I ought to?

Maybe. Come along, cousin Francis.

OK. Oh, Francie, come here.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Goodbye?

I'll be seeing you in a minute!

We'll be at my cosy apartment.

Call us some time.

Keith, is your phone connected?

Hi, uncle.

Who is that blonde thing with Keith?

There he is.

Hello, darling. How are you?

Who's that? Helen. His fiancee.

He's a bigamist!

In the second degree.

The old man whipped her up -

blue blood, a thoroughbred.

No, I gotta see. I can't have my

husband engaged to just anybody.

I didn't know you were... Hello,

Dad... Don't tell me, I can see.

Every time I send someone to do

something for me, nothing happens.

I sent you to New

York to get Keith.

I brought him...

Yes, but not that blonde too.

Isn't that the girl you spoke

to me about on the phone?

Yes, that's the girl.

She's a very nice girl, Dad.

When you were 12, I informed you and you

still don't know one woman from another.

We won't discuss it now.

Take Helen home. Yes, but... I have

a meeting at the university. Dad...

Come on, Peter. It isn't your fault.

I wonder if it's inherited

or acquired. What do you mean?

He's allergic to blondes. He

sees one and breaks out in a rash.

The only cure is to send him back

to the African bush. I trust him.

Oh, I just want to thank you for

everything. I had a wonderful time.

It makes me break out in goose flesh.

Did you ever break out? Not lately.

I'll always think of you

as my cousin.

Thank you, again.

Directly home, sir?

Yes...

Here, wipe your mouth

before Joseph kisses you.

Goodbye.

Ada, get some fluffy drapes for

the windows out of the cedar chest.

Get the bedspread for that

bed, get something put here.

I want it to look very feminine.

Very feminine.

PHONE RINGS:

Hello. ..Oh, hel-lo.

Hello, Francie? Are you all right?

What's Keith doing?

He's gone out... No, here he is now.

Oh!

Oh-h!

Oh, Keith, you're wonderful!

'O-h-h!'

Oh, you're a darling! Mmm!

'Mmmm!'

'Hey!' Oh! Oh, hello.

What's going on?

Keith just bought a cake.

What's all that noise?

It's a wedding cake. Listen.

DING-A-LING

Oh. Well, don't cut it

before I get over.

No, we won't. Say, have you told

your mother and father?

No, not yet but they'll take

a reasonable attitude.

Really, Mrs Jones, your baby's no

trouble, she can stay as long as...

Look, darling, couldn't you send

Keith off on an errand for you?

Don't listen.

Come here.

SHE KISSES DOWN THE PHONE

Come on. I'll blow closer.

SHE KISSES FERVENTLY

Oh, just a minute, Keith.

Dad... Finish your conversation.

SQUELCHY KISSES FROM PHONE

I had.

He hung up. Helen probably popped in.

I wouldn't worry about it. Much.

The student council meets

this afternoon.

As a member of the advisory

committee, you'll be there.

Furthermore, we're having

spring difficulties

between male and female

students a little early.

Fraternising in the lockers.

Then there's the Prom.

I want to tell you about that girl.

I'll give no more thought

to your involvement.

I'll take care of Keith my own way.

You don't understand.

The subject is closed.

The subject is NOT closed.

This is so distasteful. At the risk

of being a bore, I will talk about it.

I insist you respect my wishes!

THEY SHOUT ABOVE ONE ANOTHER

Your voices!

I refuse to treated... Don't shout!

Shouting is the effort

of a limited mind.

Oh, Mother. See what you've done.

Get the smelling salts. You know

your mother can't stand excitement.

I'll go. Get the smelling salts.

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