Volta Page #5

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We've lost our dear de Larchant!

Because of some stupid well!

Wait, there's something down there!

Leave it, Sire. Time's pressing.

Easy does it.

It looks like a royal crown.

I already have one,

but another won't hurt.

There's one more in France!

Are you trying to say that all that

sat a hundred years in a wall?

A floor. In an old,

bricked-over well, to be exact.

And not a hundred,

but 204 years.

The crown was stolen

and hidden

under the castle's kitchen floor

in November 1370.

- Who did it? That monk?

- Apparently.

204 years later

Henry of Valois chances upon it

while fleeing Poland.

234 years later it's discovered

by our cavalry men. In 1808.

But it falls into Spanish

hands again.

131 years later, in 1939, the crown

travels from Spain to Lublin.

Where it stays another 78 years

until this marathon across centuries

ends on the 700th anniversary

of Lublin.

All right...

The story hangs together.

Last question.

Is this crown the real thing?

Just a second...

Here you go.

The best expert I know of.

- Hi! How are you?

- What's up, Bruno?

Take your time, kitty. Meanwhile

we'll hold a short conference.

Professor Dabrowska sent us.

Excuse me.

CLOSED:

Copper-silver alloy, gold-plated.

Emeralds, sapphires and crystals.

Not gold and diamonds? Bummer.

What's it worth?

For the jeweler - 100-150,000.

But it's like appraising a Rembrandt

by the value of the paint used.

Have you heard of the Millennium

treasure at Sroda Slaska?

Charles of Luxembourg's regalia.

Early 1300s.

How do you know that?

From the net. I'm interested.

You can read about it...

Here you are.

CODEWORD "CROWN"

Has eagle-shaped pendants

complete with a cameo.

- Must be worth several million bucks.

- A hundred.

Wow!

To finance war campaigns Charles IV

pawned his regalia with Moses.

Who?

A fabulously rich Jew from Sielce.

When the plague broke out, Moses

fled, burying the treasure in his cellar.

650 years later it was dug out

by Polish construction workers.

Very well then.

How much can this be worth?

I think that at least...

10-12 million euros.

I see...

Thank you so much.

Twelve million...

Dime!

Dime! The bike!

The bike!

What the f***?

Nobody knew we'd be here.

Nobody!

You tipped them off.

Whom? Are you crazy?

Ouch! It hurts!

I repeat:
did she do it?

I saw three funny guys.

She sent them, right?

Stop it!

Don't insult my intelligence.

I'll do you no harm,

just say if it's her.

She promised to help me

in exchange.

With what?

To start a restaurant.

Restaurant!

F***! For 12 million euros?!

Go on.

Tomorrow morning

she'll take it to Cracow.

- What time?

- 9:
05.

I really don't know.

Cas said okay.

- I don't know.

- Now you do know.

Give me all there is.

- One million euros?

- I'll drop it off myself.

I can't decide on my own.

I have Lower's consent.

Lower?

He's not the one to decide.

No? Who then?

The chairman.

Ripoff.

Volta.

- It's about...

- I know.

- What's your name again?

- Tyczynski.

- Seemed to be different.

- I have two.

You'll get that million.

Deposit it with my accountant

in Warsaw tomorrow.

- You can bank on me.

- Not until it's in the bank.

Is Mr. Bruno Vol - TA here?

The VOL is stressed.

Shall we come back later?

The first syllable of my name

is stressed, not me.

Never mind.

- Give it...

- May I see your ID?

- You know me.

- It's required.

- You'll really pay her this much?

- Not a f***ing penny.

But the bait must be substantial,

the money real and within reach.

When money's real, fish bite.

She'll donate the crown to the

electoral committee of the party.

Remember:
all we do is legal.

We could easily cut this chain

and get the crown.

But I have a different suggestion.

Donate the crown to the Socialist-

National Party "Dignity & Pride".

Sign

and the million is yours.

This doesn't say I'm getting paid.

Better for you.

No need to report, no tax...

Hello!

You know what, kitty?

There's no mention of money,

so let's leave it at that.

Funny. Someone I know once heard

the same and she lost everything.

Good morning.

My name is Mariola.

I'll attend to you during this trip.

Coffee? Tea?

No, thank you.

Speak for yourself.

Dime! The suitcase!

Enough, young lady.

Violence never...

The suitcase!

F***!

Damn!

One million down the drain.

- Down the f***ing road.

- Aren't you observant!

It's a f***ing scheme!

Wait!

Thanks for all that was good.

Kitty.

What harm did I do you?

What harm did I do you?

You uneducated, stuck-up b*tch?!

- How could she?

- 'Cause you treated her like an object.

You're what? F*ggot? Feminist?

Her spokesman?

I got the crown for free.

It's you who got screwed.

Me?

To risk a million for a signature?

She recorded

finding the crown in the wall.

As to the risk,

I risked my f***ing fee!

Okay.

Once we win the elections,

we'll have a replica made.

The real crown should sell for

ten million euros and we're good.

Let's get cracking.

No, don't!

Say you've recovered it

and as president you'll return it

to the people. Okay?

All right, whatever...

Remember:
presidency first.

Otherwise it won't work out.

The last Polish king

died 218 years ago.

We've waited long enough

and the time has come.

Long live the new king!

King Casimir V.

Take off that coat and say

what you were to say.

I wanted a clever shortcut.

Clever?! I said presidency first.

Take that crown off!

No!

- This crown...

- We'll do a re-run.

belonged to my great predecessor,

Casimir like myself.

With God's help

I blocked its sale

and shipping abroad.

I promise the Polish people...

Who the f*** will buy it?

Any comments?

I'm from Cracow and know that

the crown's sitting in the tomb.

How do you mean?

When they dug out the regalia

in the 19th century

they made a replica.

It's on display in the castle.

- Give it to me.

- No!

Come on!

There's an inscription.

Made in China?

Stan wants to see you.

Who the f*** is Stan?

Our treasurer. It's about

the money entrusted to you.

Look what you've done!

Get me Professor Dabrowska!

She'll explain.

On camera, I suggest.

Here we are.

Hello.

You wanted to see me.

You? Who are you?

Professor Dabrowska.

Who? Oh, f***!

- Pardon me?

- May I see your ID?

No problem.

The other was on Wikipedia,

I saw her photo.

There's this one now.

So you can insert a fake,

then delete it?

The net can be tricky.

Some things did happen.

There was a theft attempt,

but it failed.

Janko sneaked into the crypt,

unaware of being followed.

And so, the regalia were saved.

How's that?!

He was caught.

And banished.

But Henry of Valois got that crown!

He couldn't have!

The crown sat in the crypt,

buried 200 years before.

So the whole story

is a fake.

Although some of our cavalry

did rape nuns.

Impossible.

One question.

About our party funds...

Not now!

It's urgent. Without that money

our campaign is doomed.

Then I could lose

in spite of the backing?

Bruno, say something!

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