W. Page #3

I told my father the same thing

back then:

"Take the sucker out."

So, what do you think the odds are

that Saddam's got nukes?

Well, according to our sources,

- But even if it was 1 percent...

- You don't have to sell me.

We gotta sell the American people...

...okay, and Colin.

The Commander in Chief

doesn't have to sell anything.

He has constitutionally

unlimited power in wartime.

And you have the capacity

to do anything you see fit.

Okay.

What's that thing you got there?

This is a sign-off.

It authorizes us...

...to use "interrogation techniques...

...against unlawful

enemy combatants...

...with maximal

effective persuasion."

Like pulling out their toenails?

No sir.

Enhanced interrogation techniques...

...means utilizing fear scenarios...

...like dogs or isolation...

...or simulated drowning

or sleep deprivation...

...or enforced stress positions,

but nothing fatal.

Kind of reminds me

of my fraternity days.

Remember,

we don't use torture in this country.

No torture.

But it includes our citizens too.

If they are aiding and abetting

terrorist organizations.

Makes sense.

Still, I can see all these

latte-sipping lefties going nuts again.

The Kyoto bullshit was bad enough.

Now it'll be all the sobbing

over the Geneva Convention.

Let me take a look at it.

Only three pages? Good.

The Office of Legal Counsel

is with us on this one.

- I got it, Vice, I'll look at it.

- lf we sign this week...

...with Congress in recess,

we're gonna have less nonsense.

- I said, I'll look at it.

- Okay.

I'll let you finish your lunch.

Oh, Vice...

...when we're in meetings

with others...

...I just want you to keep a lid on it.

I thought I was, sir.

No, you heard me.

Just keep your ego in check.

You know, because, remember,

I'm the president.

I'm the decider.

- I totally agree, sir.

- Okay.

Ninety, 45, 90 is the plan, sir.

Two hundred and twenty-five days.

Ninety for prep.

Moving 150,000 troops into Kuwait...

...building the airfields,

moving equipment.

Then air strikes for 45 days.

- Then 90 days of ground combat.

- A hundred and fifty thousand men?

I mean, I'm not looking

to play small ball here, Tommy.

We put 500,000 pairs of boots

on the ground, Desert Storm.

We planned for any possibility.

I think the Pentagon can wrestle

this thing down to 100,000.

Go light. Like Afghanistan.

Blitz the bejesus out of them

from the air.

Total shock and awe, Mr. President.

Shock and awe. I like it. I like that.

So when can we go?

Well, January,

February, March is best.

What about April, May, June?

No, you can't start a war

in Iraq after March.

They got scorchers out there,

burn the hide off a scorpion.

All right.

I can run in that kind of heat.

Not with

a biohazard suit on, you can't, sir.

I like the cut of your jib, Tommy.

I don't mean to rain

on Tommy's parade here, sir.

If you go through with this,

you're gonna be the owner...

...of 26 million Iraqi people

standing around looking at us.

You break it, you own it.

And I can tell you something.

You need to understand.

It's gonna suck the oxygen

right out of everything you do.

It will become your first term.

Your father weighed this when we

weighed the merits of the Gulf War.

Well, that may be so, Colin, but

my dad's fishing at Kennebunkport...

...and Saddam's still

dicking us around.

I didn't say we're going yet.

I still think we can use

that 52nd card, you know...

...proof that he's got the WMDs.

You mean the 53rd card,

sir, the joker?

No, that would be you,

Brother George.

Hey, whoa, fellas.

I think we missed the side road.

Sir, I presume we'll win this war.

Then what?

What is our exit strategy?

Well, the DOD has already drawn up

initial plans for a post-Hussein era...

...which would include the exercise of

democracy and a free-market economy.

Well, I'm glad State's

been consulted.

What type of government is DOD

talking about putting in Iraq?

Come on, Spotty.

Make me proud, girl.

Look, fellas,

in the end it's about freedom.

A free country is a peaceful country.

My dream is to see peace break out

all over the Middle East.

So any kind of government will do.

As long as it's a democracy.

Indeed.

Yeah, the cars are this way.

Half a mile maybe. Follow me.

Boy, we're not seeing

that guy today.

Well, this is a guy

who got hurt in practice...

So just a lot of development there.

He wasn't the starter for the first half

of the season...

... so he's continuing to evolve.

They're at 11,

they need to get to the 25.

Randall under pressure,

the ball is loose...

... and Texas has it.

- Yes!

- Will go all the way, touchdown...

- Yes!

- ... Longhorns.

Redding knocked it loose...

... and Jackson cashes in.

Hey, give me that, little brother.

That's enough.

That's enough.

Poppy.

We're here.

We made it. Yeah.

Come on.

Marvin, go to your room.

- Do what your dad says.

- What the hell...

...do you think you're doing?

- What?

He's only 15.

I've had just about enough

of your crap.

You had enough of me?

I'm mighty glad to hear that.

Because I've had enough of you...

...for a lifetime...

...and then some.

- My advice to you, Junior:

Get yourself

to an AA meeting. Get help.

Thank you, Mr., what, Perfect,

Mr. War Hero, Mr. God Almighty.

Don't you talk

to your father that way.

I'll talk to him however I want to.

When in tarnation is this boy

gonna get out of his own way?

How many chances

do you expect us to give?

Can't you talk to me?

Well, why do you tell her?

That's it. Let's go.

Mano a mano.

You and me. Right here. Right now.

- You want an ass-whipping?

- Yeah.

- I'll give it to you.

- Jeb, do something.

Both of you, just stop it.

- Have you lost your minds?

- Try it, old man.

- Go ahead. Take a swing.

- Hey, calm down.

Don't you realize

he was out celebrating?

- He just got into Harvard Business.

- What?

George, why didn't you tell us?

Because I ain't going.

Okay? I just wanted to show you all

that I could do it. Get in.

- Love me now?

- Calm down. He'll...

He'll change his mind.

I wouldn't count on it,

Jebbie, old boy.

- George.

- You scared me half to death.

All right, now, he got into Harvard.

Will you give him a little credit?

Of course he got in.

Who do you think pulled the strings?

You did.

That's 20. Stay in.

How about that?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

All right. Here we go.

Oh, come on.

My income for the week.

Bush, you're just fleecing us tonight.

You're better at poker

than finding oil.

Is it my fault the good Lord

didn't put oil where I been digging?

Don't ask us to invest any more

in your dry well.

Hey, Corn Dog. You remember this.

You invest in me, you'll get

your money back and plenty more.

Better start shaking

that money tree somehow.

Well, the great peanut farmer

and rabbit hunter, Jimmy Carter...

...sure ain't helping. Solar panels

on the roof of the White House?

Big government taxes

are back, boys.

Amen to that.

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