Waffle Street

1

Man:
What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

What we do is legal,

therefore, it is not unethical.

If this was unethical,

it would be illegal.

That company mantra

was the only thing

fending off this latest

bout of moral crisis.

You see, I just sold this guy

and his two financial gurus

on investing $200 million

in our mortgage fund.

He will lose almost everything.

My firm will make $26 million.

And it's totally legal.

Therefore, it is not unethical.

At a young age, it occurred

to me that I was different.

You see, it's always been easier for me to

relate intellectually as opposed to emotionally.

While most children

were playing pretend,

I focused my efforts

on counting to 100.

For Halloween, I departed from the

traditional superhero or ghoul,

and instead dressed as seven-time

mathlete champion, Franklin Stubbs.

In high school, I divided my time

between "The Wall Street Journal"

and classic literature.

By 16, I had a life plan

mapped out to my 65th birthday.

After a freak

Segway-ing accident...

landed me

in the college infirmary,

I had my heart stolen by a sympathetic

coed working on her nursing degree.

Somehow, she found

my idiosyncrasies endearing.

Eight years

and two business degrees later,

I landed in finance.

We hate Wall Street!

We hate Wall Street!

Man:
To survive the

crash, I worked overtime.

Some nights, I slept there.

I had goals to reach.

I got the car, bought the house,

then worked my way up

to vice president.

After this deal,

they'd make me a partner.

Overnight, our firm

was gonna be worth three-fold.

To celebrate, the top brass

threw a party in my honor.

It didn't occur to them that I

neither drink nor enjoy bars,

but being the man of the hour, I

was forced to make an appearance

and enjoy

my 18-dollar virgin tonic.

Jim! Jim, my man!

How you doing?

You having a good time, huh?

I just wanna say

excellent work. Top notch.

- What we asked of you was not easy.

- Thank you.

You enjoy yourself

because you deserve it.

I... I am.

Unfortunately, it is about

time for me to head out.

- No!

- Becky leaves for work in 45 minutes,

and she'll be disappointed

if I don't see her off.

Listen, good for you.

Before you go, let's get a

picture with Phil and Hal.

Don't you move. Don't move.

Jim:
Today's mark was an

eccentric billionaire.

But I had spent

the last six years

talking people

out of their money,

banks, college endowments,

teachers' pension funds.

If there was a nickel to be had,

it was my job to get it.

When the guilt piled up,

I buried it with my ambition.

If I climbed high enough,

maybe I could outrun it.

- Jim, how are you?

- Good.

- Jim.

- Come on in.

Take a seat.

How is Becky?

Uh, she's... She's great.

We're trying to start a family.

Good. Good.

That's really great, Jim.

We're gonna let you go, Jim.

- Come on, Hal.

- Show a little tact, Hal.

Cut the crap,

and tell him why he's here.

But we just went public

with the mortgage fund.

Hey, your work on that

was top notch, Jim.

The bonds are under water.

It's just a matter of time

before they all blow up.

There was no other way

to achieve those target numbers.

You were perfectly

aware of this.

We gave you a number to hit.

You're the one that decided

how to hit it.

This is all gonna

come back on us, Jim,

and believe me, it's gonna

be better for all of us...

if you're not here.

I was loyal,

and you used me.

Now, there's no reason

this can't be amicable.

And no one twisted your arm.

Jim:
With Alpha pinning

me as the fall guy,

my career in finance was over.

No other firm would touch me.

Hey, you're home early.

So, I had

the most disgusting day today.

Cresting Elementary's corn chips and

chili fry day went completely awry.

A hundred and twenty fifth graders

show up spewing from both ends.

We had to make an emergency run

to Home Depot for extra buckets.

I bet you forgot we have dinner

with your parents tonight.

Do you know

if your grandfather is coming?

Because I love him,

but I just...

I need to mentally

prepare myself for him.

Jim:
All that ladder climbing

just made my fall

that much more traumatic.

What's wrong?

Jim:
I was disgusted with myself

and repulsed by the business.

I got fired.

Jim:
I hadn't outrun anything.

So, you're...

You're happy you got fired?

No. I don't know.

I think I'd just like

to try something else.

Well, I didn't know you had anything

other passions besides finance.

Sure, I do. Plenty of things.

I just need to...

find out what they are.

It'll be fine, hon.

I know.

You'll figure it out.

At least one thing is gonna get a lot

easier with you home during the day.

I... I can't even think

about having babies right now.

We've already had

that conversation.

Yes, and now,

I don't have a job.

Well, you'll find one.

It could take a while.

We've waited four years

to be ready.

I want a baby.

I want us to have a baby.

I know.

But I'm really not in the

right head space right now.

Not even just a little?

Well, that's nice.

And if I do this?

(sighs)

Okay, maybe when you do that.

What is that?

What?

On your shirt.

Face scrub.

No, that's...

That's definitely vomit.

All right, well,

this shirt is coming off anyway.

Oh!

Jim:
The career turmoil

had caused me to reflect.

Not just on my own choices,

but on my family's long line

of working-class forefathers.

Men like my great-grandfather,

William Edward Preston.

He worked his way up from small-town

butcher to East Coast farming legend.

Not only did he harvest

his own crops,

but he managed their distribution

across New York City

and still found the time to run

a soup kitchen every Sunday.

My father and grandfather built their

legacy through honest, hard work.

For over 50 years,

they delivered chocolate to

supermarkets across the country.

From a young age, I was groomed and

expected to tread the family path.

My decision to pursue finance had been

met with a... lukewarm reception.

I told you not to go to work

for those crooks.

They're financial managers, Dad.

Grandpop Adams:
Anybody

that makes all their money

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes