Wag the Dog Page #17

INT HELICOPTER NIGHT.

AN AIRCREWMAN, LISTENING TO A SMALL RADIO.

RADIO:

(VO)

Midst repeated denial from the Albanian Government.

While, at the White House, a sense of Stillness

pervades, awaiting the return of...

THE AIRCREWMAN SNAPS TO ATTENTION AS BREAN COMES INTO THE AIRCRAFT, BUCKLES

HIMSELF INTO A WEBSEAT, AND FALLS ASLEEP. HE ROUSES HIMSELF, TAKES OUT HIS

NOTEBOOK, AND STARTS TO WRITE IN IT.

EXT PARKING LOT, NASHVILLE DAWN.

A SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT, A HUGE COWBOY HAT ADORNS A STORE CALLED "KELLEY'S

WESTERN WEAR." AT THE SUPERMARKET, SHOPPERS, PUSHING CARTS PILED HIGH -- THE

WIFE PUSHING, THE HUSBAND GUARDING THE CART WITH A RIFLE. A FISTFIGHT BREAKS

OUT. NO ONE NOTICES THE HELICOPTER.

BREAN IS GETTING INTO A JEEP, ITS TOP OFF, DRIVEN BY A FELLOW IN WESTERN

GETUP, ON THE SIDE IS PAINTED A GUITAR. IN THE B.G. WE SEE THE HELICOPTER

LIFTING OFF. IN THE JEEP ARE THE FAD KING AND MOSS.

ANGLE:

THE JEEP, AS BREAN SETTLES HIMSELF IN HE TURNS TO LOOK AT THE CHAOS IN THE

PARKING LOT.

COWBOY:

It ain't hoarding. It's stockpiling.

BREAN:

Uh huh.

COWBOY:

Only common sense.

MOSS:

(OF THE BOOK)

We got the guy, we got the guy, we got the Guy!

FAD KING:

The Canada Thing was a shuck. A shuck -- wasted a day.

What can you do with Canada? Bears, mapleleafs, "sugar

-on-Snow." Lays there on the plate like a lox.

ANGLE:

AMES ON THE PHONE IN THE JEEP.

AMES:

Yes... Hello...?

(PAUSE)

What...? What...? We're breaking up, I'll call you

from the studio.

INT RECORDING STUDIO NASHVILLE, DAY.

THE COWBOY, MOSS, FAD KING, AMES, AND BREAN WALKING THROUGH THE LOBBY AND

CORRIDOR OF A NASHVILLE STUDIO, MANY GOLD AND PLATINUM RECORDS ON THE WALL.

THEY PASS AN ELDERLY AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN SWEEPING THE HALL, AND NOD AT HIM.

BREAN:

(REACHES INTO HIS JACKET POCKET)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, get this typed, get somebody to

send it to the White House...

HE HANDS IT TO MOSS.

MOSS:

What is it?

BREAN:

President's speech.

MOSS:

At the Airport? Cause we decided at the Airport he

hugs the fat, wet Albanian Broad, we...

BREAN:

No, no, no, no, no after the airport.

THEY TURN AROUND, LOOKING FOR AMES, WHO IS HANGING BACK, LOOKING AT A TV. THEY

RETRACE THEIR STEPS. CAMERA TAKES THEM TO AMES, WHO IS WATCHING SENATOR NOLE

ON TV.

AMES:

(SOFTLY)

Oh, sh*t...

NOLE:

...gotten word that the situation in Albania is

resolved. That it is resolved. My military sources

confirm that our troops, along the Canadian Border, And

overseas are standing down, and I must take this

opportunity to call upon our President to stand and

face the charges, the heinous charges brought against

him. You know, folks, there is nothing in life as

precious as the Innocence of a Child.

(PAUSE)

Nothing. Now, I do not say these charges are true, I do

not see how they could be. Accusations of, of sexual

misconduct in anyone, must be investigated. In the

case of a Sitting President, of one whose term, and I

do not hesitate to mention it, ends, in, effectively,

in a matter of days... I call upon the President...

AMES:

What does he mean The Situation has Been Resolved?

BREAN:

He just got Hip to us.

(PAUSE)

He just ended the War.

CAMERA TAKES THEM INTO THE RECORDING STUDIO.

AMES:

What are we gonna do about it...?

WE SEE SEVERAL PEOPLE AT A CONSOLE, AND, IN THE STUDIO, A BRIGHT SASSY LOOKING

GROUP, SINGING.

GROUP:

We guard the Northern Borders.

We live the Northern Liiiiifffe...

We come to restore Order...

For our Children and our Wiiiiiiiffee...

BREAN:

(TO ENGINEER)

Tell'em to knock it off.

THE ENGINEER TELLS THE GROUP TO STAND DOWN.

PAUSE:

AMES:

What are we going to do?

BREAN:

(TO MOSS)

The War is Over.

MOSS:

What?

BREAN:

The War is Over. Senator Nole just ended the War.

AMES:

Oh, God...

BREAN:

Yep. Well, we started it, he Ended it...

ANGLE ON THE TV.

TELEVISION REPORTER

...and the C.I.A. Confirms the cessation of

Hostilities, with...

BREAN:

The C.I.A.

AMES:

Oh, Lord....

BREAN:

...those limp-dick ... turncoat... I thought they let

us out of there too easy.....

HE REACHES OVER AND FLICKS OFF THE TV.

BREAN:

(TO MOSS. CONT.)

War's over, Pal.

(PAUSE)

IN THE B.G. AMES PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS.

AMES:

(ON PHONE)

Gloria -- sell the House.

(HE HANGS UP)

(PAUSE)

MOSS:

The War ain't over.

(PAUSE)

BREAN:

I saw it on TV.

MOSS:

The war ain't over til I say it's over. This is my

picture. You think you're in a spot? You think this

is a tight spot? Try making the Hunchback of Notre

Dame when your three lead actors die, two weeks from

the end of Principal Photography. This is... this

is... this is just...

(PAUSE)

Act One:
THE WAR.

Act Two ... the... uh...

FAD KING:

It's like those Japanese in the Caves on Okinawa...

didn't believe the War was Over.

MOSS:

You got a guy, doesn't believe the War is... NO NO NO.

An American Serviceman... A brave American Serviceman,

is Left Behind ...

(HE LOOKS AT THE FAD KING, WHO IS

MASSAGING HIS FOOT, HAVING TAKEN OFF

HIS SHOE)

He is Left Behind. He is discarded like an Old Shoe...

(TO BREAN)

Gemme the Pentagon. List of people in all Military

Special Programs.... Left behind. Like the Old Shoe...

Johnny:
"Good Old Shoe"...

(JOHNNY NODS)

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