Wag the Dog Page #3

AMES:

(WALKS ALONG, SHAKING HIS HEAD)

It's going to be fine. It's going to be ... you

remember in 88, when...

AN AIDE COMES UP TO THEM, HOLDING A VIDEOTAPE.

AMES:

What is it...

AIDE WHISPERS TO AMES. WHO NODS, TAKES THE TAPE, AND BREAN, AND THE AIDE,

INTO A SIDE OFFICE.

INT SIDE OFFICE NIGHT.

AS THE AIDE PUTS THE TAPE INTO A V.C.R.

BREAN:

What is it?

AMES:

It's the rough-cut, the other side's new commercial.

THE PICTURE COMES ON, IT SHOWS THE PRESIDENT DOING SEVERAL PRESIDENTIAL

THINGS. THE COMMERCIAL WE SAW EARLIER.

BREAN:

That's our commercial.

(PAUSE)

I've seen it. That's our commercial.

AMES:

(TO AIDE)

Turn up the volume.

THE AIDE DOES SO, AND WE HEAR MAURICE CHAVALIER SINGING,

"Thank heaven, for Little Girls...."

ANOTHER AIDE ENTERS, SHEEPISHLY, HANDS A THICK PACKET TO AMES, WHO HOLDS IT

OUT TO BREAN.

BREAN:

What is this?

AMES:

Twenty thousand dollars.

BREAN:

(NODS, REMEMBERING IT)

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go to L.A.

INT BACKSEAT THE STATIONWAGON WE SAW AT THE WESTGATE. GEORGETOWN. NIGHT.

AMES IN THE BACKSEAT.

AMES:

I'm coming with you.

BREAN:

(SHRUGS)

Gemme a plane. Business Aviation, National, one hour.

Fly to Chicago. O'hare, LAX 6 A.M.

AMES:

I'll see you at National.

BREAN NODS, AND EXITS.

HOLD ON AMES.

HE HEARS SOMETHING, AND TURNS.

ANGLE:

HIS POV.

A YOUNG STAFFER, IN THE CORNER, SPEAKING SOFTLY ON THE PHONE.

STAFFER:

(ON PHONE)

Tell him, well, tell him we, I know we just signed it,

but we're going to cancel it.

(PAUSE)

Because, because we're not going to be staying here the

next four years.

(PAUSE)

Well, I can't tell you on the phone...

EXT GEORGETOWN STREET NIGHT.

THE DOORSTEP OF A HOUSE. A MIDDLE AGED MAN IN A BATHROBE, HOLDS A VERY LARGE

MANILA ENVELOPE, HE TURNS, SOMEONE BEHIND HIM OBVIOUSLY HAVING CALLED HIM. HE

TURNS AND SECRETS THE ENVELOPE IN HIS BATHROBE POCKET.

ANGLE:

IN THE FOREGROUND, BREAN, IN A TAXICAB, WHICH DRIVES AWAY, IN THE B.G., THE

MAN IN THE BATHROBE, REENTERING HIS HOUSE.

INT SMALL TWIN ENGINE PROP PLANE. NIGHT.

AMES AND BREAN IN THE BACK

HOLD ON AMES:

WHO IS SHAKING HIS HEAD. HE REACHES OVER AND NUDGES BREAN AWAKE.

AMES:

Tell, tell, tell me again.

BREAN:

....we landing?

AMES:

Tell me again.

BREAN:

(SIGHS)

Lookit, don't worry about it. It's not a New Concept.

Wake me when we touch down, will...

HE TRIES TO NESTLE HIMSELF BACK TO SLEEP. AMES NUDGES HIM.

AMES:

We can't afford a war.

BREAN:

We aren't going to have a war. We're going to have the

"appearance" of a war.

AMES:

I'm not sure we can afford to have the "appearance" of

a war.

BREAN:

What's it gonna cost?

(HE SHRUGS AND STARTS TO ROLL OVER TO

GO TO SLEEP.)

AMES:

But, but, but, "they" would find out.

BREAN:

Who would find out?

AMES:

...the...

(HE GESTURES OUT OF THE WINDOW)

BREAN:

The American "people"?

AMES:

Yes

BREAN:

Who's gonna tell'em.

AMES:

...but...

BREAN:

What did they find out about the Gulf War? One shot:

one bomb, falling though the roof, building coulda been

made of Legos.

HE ROLLS OVER AGAIN.

AMES:

(AS IF REHEARSING IT TO HIMSELF)

...you want us to go to War...

BREAN ROUSES HIMSELF, SHRUGS, TAKES OUT A NOTEBOOK, AND BEGINS TO WRITE.

BREAN:

...that's the general idea.

AMES:

Why?

BREAN:

Why not, what've they ever done for us...? Also: they

sound... Ah, you see, this is why we have to mobilize

the B-2 Bomber...

AMES:

...they sound what?

BREAN:

Shifty. Who knows anything about em...

AMES:

Hold on, hold on, hold on:

BREAN:

Well, I'm gonna hold on, but you went to win this

election, you better change the subject. You wanna

change this subject, you better have a War. What do

you need? It's gotta be quick, it's gotta be dramatic,

you got to have an enemy. Okay? What do you need in

an enemy? Somebody you fear. Who do you fear?

Som'b'y you don't know.

AMES:

Who?

BREAN:

Well, I'm working on it....

HE ROLLS OVER.

EXT, O'HARE AIRPORT. BUSINESS TERMINAL.

A BEAUTIFUL PRAIRIE DAWN.

THE SMALL PLANE FINISHES TAXIING, BREAN AND AMES EMERGE, A UNIFORMED

OBSEQUIOUS AIRLINE ATTENDANT COMES UP, AND HANDS THEM TICKETS.

ANGLE, ON BREAN AND AMES, AS THEY WALK ACROSS THE TARMAC.

AMES:

Albania...

BREAN:

Yes.

AMES:

Why?

BREAN:

What do you know about them?

AMES:

...nothing...

BREAN:

Precisely.

AMES:

What did Albania ever do to us?

BREAN:

What did they ever do for us...?

(PAUSE)

You see, this is why we have to mobilize the B-2

Bomber.

AMES:

(TO HIMSELF)

...you want us to go to War with Albania.

BREAN:

Here's what you got to do:

(HE GESTURES, "GET ON THE PHONE")

Get your Press Office, Right now. To deny; There is

no report of Albanian Activity. They have to deny it.

Now, get the C.I.A.

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