Wag the Dog Page #30

THE SCREEN DISSOLVES, TO A SHOT OF THE GREAT SEAL OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE

UNITED STATES.

ANNOUNCER (VO)

Live, from the White House, we bring you...

ANGLE:

ON BREAN AND MOSS, AS THEY CLUSTER UP TO THE TELEVISION. IN THE B.G.,

SCHUMANN, SITTING ON A STOOL AT THE COUNTER.

PRESS PERSON (VO)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United

States...

ANGLE:

ON THE THREE, AS THEY WATCH THE TELEVISION.

MOSS:

Okay ... it's time for the Cavalry.

(PAUSE)

Nick of Time.... sonofabitches.... F*** with me...?

PRESIDENT (VO)

My fellow Americans.

(PAUSE)

ANGLE:

TIGHT ON SCHUMANN WHO SEES SOMETHING OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE.

ANGLE, HIS POV

UP A NARROW STAIRCASE, THE FIGURE OF A YOUNG GIRL IN A FLIMSY DRESS, CLIMBING.

ANGLE:

SCHUMANN, AS HE LOOKS AWAY, AND MUTTERS TO HIMSELF.

SCHUMANN:

"...where's my pill..."

ANGLE:

THE GROUP WATCHING TELEVISION.

PRESIDENT:

...he is down safely, though the flight crew perished

in the crash. He will be transhipped, we are informed

he has sustained minor injuries, which will require his

being medicated for some time, but, I am assured...

AMES WANDERS IN.

MOSS:

(OF THE T.V.)

You see, this is what I'm talking about. Stand It On

Its Head. How does it Work for your benefit...

AMES:

I'm concerned about the driver of the rig.

MOSS:

What rig?

AMES:

...the Harvester...

(HE GESTURES OUT AT THE VAST FARM

MACHINE, WHICH CAN JUST BE SEEN

STANDING BY THE HIGHWAY. ITS OWNER

BESIDE IT. WAITING.)

BREAN:

What about him?

AMES:

Well, he doesn't have his Green Card.

(PAUSE)

He Doesn't have his Greencard.

ANGLE:

ON SCHUMANN, WHO HAS CONE TO THE BACK OF THE COUNTER, AND IS EMPTYING THE

CANNISTERS.

SCHUMANN:

(TO HIMSELF)

Where's my pill...?

HIS WANDERINGS BRING HIM TO THE END OF THE COUNTER. WHERE WE SEE, OVER HIS

SHOULDER, A YOUNG GIRL, PUTTERING ABOUT IN THE KITCHEN OFF THE GAS STATION

OFFICE.

ANGLE:

CU. ON SCHUMANN, LEERING.

ANGLE ON AMES, ETC.

AMES:

... you want Schumann saved by an Illegal Alien...?

BREAN:

Well, what do you want to do about it?

(PAUSE)

What do you...

MOSS:

Pals:

(TO BREAN)

Get on the phone... r'they flying it?

BREAN:

They'll be here in ten minutes.

MOSS:

Get on the phone, have'em fly in a ...whaddaya need to

be a citizen? A Judge? Whaddaya need? A Judge...?

Call in a Judge, call in a Federal Judge, and...

(TO AMES, AS IF TO A CHILD)

If you're concerned about him, being an ..."immigrant."

Make him a citizen... Eh? Guys ... what's all this

mopery, we...

SCHUMANN LOOKS TO THE SIDE.

THE YOUNG GIRL HAS DROPPED A SPOON OFF OF THE WORKTABLE AND BENDS OVER TO PICK

IT UP, REVEALING HER LEGS AND LITTLE GIRL UNDIES.

ANGLE:

ON SCHUMANN, LEERING.

SCHUMANN:

(MUTTERING)

...where is my pill?

ANGLE:

ON THE MEN, IN THE ROOM, ARGUING ABOUT THE ILLEGAL ALIEN, SCHUMANN IN THE B.G.

SCHUMANN:

WHERE'S MY F***ING PIIIILLLLLLL...?

SCHUMANN RUNS INTO THE KITCHEN, AND WE HEAR THE SOUNDS OF LITTLE GIRL SCREAMS.

ALL THE MEN IN THE ROOM LOOK AROUND.

THE OWNER STANDS, AND LOOKS AROUND.

OWNER:

Susie...?

(PAUSE)

Susie...

HE IS ANSWERED BY WHIMPERING.

MOSS:

Oh, hell...

THE GAS STATION OWNER GOES TO THE DOOR TO THE KITCHEN, AND FINDS IT LOCKED.

OWNER:

Susie? Susie. Are you alright...? Susie...

MOSS STRIDES UP TO THE DOOR.

MOSS:

Lemme talk to him. Will? Shoe?

OWNER:

SUSIE...? Are you alright...?

MOSS:

(PUSHES HIM ASIDE)

Lemme talk to him. Shoe? Shoe...? You in there...?

WE ARE ANSWERED BY THE SOUNDS OF WHIMPERING.

ANGLE:

ON THE GAS STATION OWNER, WHO HAS RETREATED TO HIS COUNTER AND PRODUCES A

SHOTGUN, AND STARTS TO LOAD IT.

MOSS:

(AT THE DOOR)

Shoe, boy...? You know, you were telling me you

wanted Beans? Remember, you were concerned about the

Beans...?

THE MAN WITH THE SHOTGUN COMES UP TO THE DOOR.

MOSS:

(TO THE STATION OWNER)

No, 1emme talk to him... 1emme talk to him, we have a

relationship...

THE GAS STATION OWNER EXITS THE BUILDING, AND WE SEE HIM, OUTSIDE, KICK IN

THE SIDE DOOR TO THE KITCHEN.

MOSS:

(THROUGH THE DOOR, TO SCHUMANN)

'Member, we were talking about how much you liked the

"beans" and all...?

WE HEAR THE SOUND OF WHIMPERING, AND THEN TWO SHOTGUN BLASTS.

WE HEAR MORE LITTLE GIRL SCREAMS, THEN A BLAST, AND THEN ANOTHER SHOTGUN

BLAST.

BEAT.

BREAN AND MOSS ROUSE TBEMSELVES, AND GO TO STAND IN THE DOORWAY, LOOKING INTO

THE KITCHEN. AMES PEEKS OVER THEIR SHOULDERS.

BREAN:

(AFFECTLESS)

...now look what's happened...

BREAN WALKS TO THE DRINK COOLER, OPENS A CAN OF DR. PEPPER, AND COMES BACK TO

STAND IN THE DOORWAY.

BEAT. THE OWNER COMES OUT, HOLDING THE SHOTGUN AND COMFORTING THE DISTRAUGHT

LITTLE GIRL.

IN THE B.G. WE HEAR A JET ROAR, AND WE SEE A CARRIER JET MAKING AN APPROACH

ONTO THE HIGHWAY.

AMES:

So-close-and-yet-so-far.

MOSS:

Naa, f*** this, this is nothing. Oh, Lord -- this

just got Big. I see it -- Big -- Big for you and big

for me.

AMES:

What are you talking about?

MOSS:

You're not thinking right, Pal...

AMES:

He's dead.

(PAUSE)

He's dead.

(PAUSE)

The Fella Killed Old Shoe.

(PAUSE)

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