Waking Ned

Saturday evening,

and the universe is much the same...

as at any other point in

the history of the world.

The planets and stars

orbit and spin...

and do everything that

is expected of them.

On earth, as the sun sets,

millions prepare...

for a weekly event which

is far less predictable.

In sixty-three countries

around the world...

dozens of lottery machines

spin hundreds of lottery balls.

It takes seconds for the winning

numbers to be selected...

seconds for the losers

to realize they've lost...

but for the winners,

it is an event...

which will undoubtedly

change their lives forever.

Lucky sods.

Hello again, and welcome...

to the National Lottery's

weekend draw...

for Saturday,

the 21st of August.

We're coming to you live tonight

from the heart of Dublin...

where we are, as we speak,

calculating the total amount...

of the jackpot to

be claimed tonight.

As always, we shall be

bringing you up to date...

with the total jackpot

and all the lotto news...

in our round-up program which

follows directly after the news.

But for now, let's concentrate

on the game in hand...

and get this week's

draw underway.

Just to remind you,

if you can match six numbers...

Annie, where's me ticket?

In your trousers.

Oh, Lord.

Here's Alan Fergis...

our independent observer

this evening.

Alan is from Stokescroft

Financial Services...

and we're very honored

to have him here tonight.

There's all your numbers

numbers one to forty-two

poised and ready...

Annie, bring me me

apple tart, will you?

Fetch it yourself.

We start the draw drum,

release all forty-two numbers.

Annie, the lotto's starting.

...as we wait

for the first number...

to come from

the draw drum.

And our first number is...

nineteen.

Oh, yes.

There she goes.

Number nineteen.

Annie, come in.

Bring me me tart.

We've got the first one.

It's... number forty.

Jeepers, Annie.

Will you believe it?

I've got the second.

Our third number

is number four.

Oh, will you

look at that, girl?

Here's our fourth number...

seven.

Can you believe it, Annie?

Number seven!

Will you come in out of that?

We got the first four!

You're havin' me on.

Shush, shush, shush.

...is twenty-five.

Twenty-five.

Annie... we've got it.

Jesus, Jackie... that's five.

Oh, God help us.

God help us.

And now here's

the sixth number...

- Twenty-nine.

- Yes! Yes, yes.

Finally, our bonus number...

Yes, yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes!

Have we won?

No, but it got me apple tart

brought in now, didn't it?

Whoo!

sync, fix:
titler

I wish I was a fisherman

Tumbling on the seas

Far away from dry land

And its bitter memories

Casting out

my sweet life

With abandonment and love

No ceiling bearing

down on me

Save the starry sky

above with light in my head

You in my arms

Whoo!

Michael!

Michael O'Sullivan,

are you a millionaire?

Now, Jackie,

would I spend me time...

sittin' on this old beach

if I was a millionaire?

I believe you would.

Hold on there now.

I've some mighty news.

Are you going in for a dip?

More important things to do.

Look and see what I've found...

in the small print of the

Irish Times last night.

Look at it, the front page,

down at the bottom...

winkin' at ya,

lotto results.

Winner from County More West.

A local winner?

God, that's a thing.

Jeepers, Michael,

it's more than local.

County More West is big,

but there's only one village in it.

- Tullymore.

- Tullymore.

Is this a fact, Jackie?

A winner in the village?

In Tullymore itself, yes.

And how many are

living there now?

Well, there's fifty-two

precisely, Michael.

If you've not won, I've not won,

and Annie's not won...

that leaves a total

of forty-nine.

Jesus, forty-nine...

and one is a winner.

Has the news

reached Tullymore?

Nobody's figured it out yet...

so nobody knows

but the winner.

God, it's mighty.

Does Annie know?

She does. She's looking

for the winner now.

If a goose comes along

To sing her song

Then I'll light a fire

With a big pot on

Well, you're blessed with a

grand voice, Mrs. Kennedy.

How long can a man

sit on a fortune...

without spending a penny,

Jackie?

As long as he wants, Michael.

The longer it's sat on,

the bigger our share.

Jesus, man!

Where's it from?

Does it suit me, Maggie?

- It does at that.

- Will you marry me, then?

Oh... Da!

Can I marry your daughter

now I'm driving a convertible?

It must be stolen, that.

Come for a ride

like the old days.

Finn, darlin',

you know I would...

if it wasn't for the

smell of them pigs.

What about me

young man there?

Maurice, will you come

for a ride in the racing car?

Grampy, can I go?

- No.

- Please?

Brendy, is me puncture mended?

Come back tomorrow.

I could've done it

quicker meself.

We find the winner

and make sure...

we're their best friends

when they cash the check.

Well, come on, then.

I'm not sure.

So, you think it's a woman?

I'm just saying it might be.

If it's a woman,

I'll chat her up...

and we'll be off

before you knew it.

I'm bursting with news.

I think I know who's won.

That's mighty,

for I've an idea I know myself.

Annie, what's the noise?

It's Michael...

and he knows the winner.

Well, come on.

I want to hear it up here. So?

Jesus, Jackie,

do you think you're the Pope?

Shouting out the bathroom window

for the whole village to hear!

Well, come on, out with it.

It's Mrs. Kennedy.

Oh, now,

I've got someone else.

- Well, speak up, man.

- Pig Finn.

Will you look at that...

there's 49 possible winners,

and we're down to 2 already.

Go away out of that.

We're in the bath!

Jackie, it's Finn.

Are you up for a pint?

I want to ask your

advice on something.

He's after advice

on his money.

Say you will.

Aye, I'm up for a pint.

I'm just out of me bath.

I'll see you at Fitzgerald's

in ten minutes.

Right.

Yeah, I know.

There's a terrible stink on him lately.

Evening, Jackie, Michael.

Boys.

Dennis,

have you seen Pig Finn?

His glass is there,

and himself is in the toilet.

Two pints for us,

and one for me old friend, Pig Finn.

Oh, and let me

buy him a packet...

of his favorite Mexican crisps

there, as well, Dennis.

Your old friend?

You must be needing an

operation on your nose, Jackie.

Have you smelled

the Pig lately?

I have, and it's not half

as bad as your aftershave.

Well, this aftershave is

a knockout with the girls.

And tell me, Pat,

which particular girls...

are you knocking out

at the moment?

Well, hello, Mrs. Kennedy.

Don't be afraid.

It's only myself.

I've been baking,

and Jackie had no room for this...

so I thought we'd

share it between us.

There's the man.

How are you, boys?

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

The old sparkle

in your eye, eh?

You're a devil, Jackie.

Jesus, Jackie, you must

have a terrible thirst tonight.

I've never seen a man drink

two pints at the same time.

Here. This is yours, Finn.

I've bought you a pint so.

- You're joking me.

- No.

You never bought me a pint.

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