Waltz of the Toreadors Page #2

There's a water pump at the bottom,

and when the water goes up...

Would you like me to tell you

about my old stallion's fetlocks?

- I see you've got your blues on.

- Yes, put'em on.

And how's the invalid? Any scenes today, hm?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

A small one, and I took your advice.

- I closed the door on her.

- Good, good.

The only reason she won't walk

is to rouse your pity and stop you leaving her.

Ah, it's blackmail, that's what it is, blackmail.

To think I once loved her.

Huh. It's happened to all of us, General.

Yes, because before becoming

a professional invalid,

Emily had quite an amorous disposition,

you know.

- Really?

- Yes.

Did I ever tell you she was an opera singer?

- Often.

- Yes.

- Of course, I made her give it all up.

- And now she hates you for it.

Well, I don't see why. She's gone on

giving the same performance for 20 years.

Just for me.

- A little wearing, General.

- Yes.

- Where's your coat?

- I left it in the car.

Shall I answer it, sir?

No, ignore it, my boy, ignore it,

and close the door, for God's sake.

- Very good, sir.

- How's your wife, Grogan?

Oh, running well. I treat her

as an early-model motorcar, you know.

It's fascinating how these ancient machines

continue to work so efficiently.

Hmm, well, you'd better go up

and lubricate my old heap.

Damn good parade

they gave you today, General.

Yes, it was,

wasn't it?

They'll miss you, won't they?

Well, I hope so, yes.

You'll be at home more.

Do you imagine I hadn't thought of that?

Just look at me.

All the gold trimmings here, you see.

Underneath, a boy's heart dying to give his all.

And that's what they call a fine career.

Would it help if I told you much the same story?

Not in the slightest.

I haven't marked your card yet.

And me, too.

You promised me the polka, Ghislaine.

Don't forget me. I was going to have the waltz

before the English arrived.

Only two dances left.

Now, who shall it be?

Me, Ghislaine. I asked you before the others.

All right, Andr.

I shall have you,

because your name begins with A.

And you, Zachariah,

because your name begins with Z.

A bientt, Messieurs.

Oh, Ghislaine!

Ghislaine, I'll change my name.

- Quite finished, young man?

- Oh, so sorry, sir.

May I see your carnet de bal,

mademoiselle?

But...my card is full, Major.

lt is Major, is it not?

Major Fitzjohn, commanding Her Majesty's

1 1th Dragoons, at your service.

Then I cannot refuse, sir.

Ghislaine!

Yes, Leo.

lt is I.

Ghislaine.

Ghislaine! What are you doing here?

There's going to be a devil of a row.

- Good. That's why I came.

- Sh, my love, she's got ears everywhere.

Oh, let me look at you.

You.

Myself.

My own.

I took the night express, and then the packet,

and then the day express.

Oh, my Amazon!

But should you have travelled so far alone?

- On the train, a man spoke to me.

- What?!

- He asked me the time.

- Swine!

But I was perfectly calm.

- I was armed.

- Careful!

Oh, you have it still.

Hmm. It has protected me all these years.

- For you, Leo.

- Thank you. Thank you.

But now I find you are retired.

Oh, only from the army, my darling,

never from our great love.

Oh, good. That's all I want to know.

- Ghislaine, you can't stay here.

- Of course I can.

Emily's next door. It's quite impossible.

Everything is possible now, Leo.

Yes, it is. Of course it is. But not here.

Allow me to take a room at the inn for you, for us.

I have already taken it.

Oh, wonderful.

You've arranged everything, then.

Everything, and I have here in my reticule

evidence that will make you free, Leo.

Our long years will not have been wasted.

17 years.

17 years since the cavalry ball at Saumur.

I'd just been posted to France, Major Fitzjohn.

Oh, Leo, the enchantment of that first waltz.

What was the name of that waltz?

The Waltz Of The Toreadors.

I shall never forget it.

Neither shall I.

What is it?

- We should not be here alone.

- Alone, Mademoiselle? But we're together.

We must always be together.

But, Major, we hardly know each other's name.

Mine is Leo,

and we know each other's heart, Mademoiselle.

Oh!

Mademoiselle, we've always known one another.

We've met a thousand times in our dreams,

only to awake to the emptiness of life

without one another.

You are too rash, Major.

Oh, indeed I am, Mademoiselle. I am.

You see, my heart beats like a cavalry charge.

lt gallops towards its object -

its sweet, sweet object -

and then nothing in the world can hold it back.

Oh, Major, you must not.

Oh, but I must, I must.

We must.

It's our destiny.

- Our fate.

- Oh.

- Who is that woman?

- There is no woman but you.

There never could be.

But that lady watching us, who is she?

That, Mademoiselle, is my wife.

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

What is it? What? What?

- The new one's come, sir.

- The new what's come?

The new girl, sir, and the doctor's left.

Look here, I've no time

to choose chambermaids now.

What's she like?

On the plump side, sir.

On the plump side?

Engage her, will you?

Engage her.

You see how it is here, my love.

Endless, endless household matters.

Go to the inn. We shall meet there later.

It's no use, Leo. I'm determined to stay with you.

My love, Emily will never allow it.

She will have to.

I have proof

- that she's unfaithful.

- Emily unfaithful?

Here are two letters,

two letters signed by her hand.

- Two love letters to a man.

- My love,

it's quite impossible.

We are free, Leo.

Where did you get them?

They were found in her room

by one of your servants.

Emily deceiving me? This is outrageous.

- Who is this man?

- What does it matter? We are free.

I demand to know this man's name.

What it is now? Oh, Dr Grogan.

What?

Grogan?

Grogan!

Don't do anything desperate, Leo!

- Grogan !

- Leo!

Grogan!

- Is um...is this where it hurts?

- Ooh!

Good, good. Nothing serious.

Just a touch of damp, that's all.

- Too much hanging about in graveyards.

- Surely you're going to give me something.

Better get dressed, Midgeley.

Let nature take its course.

Come on out of there, Grogan, damn you!

I know you're in there.

Here, come here!

I'm coming in for you, Grogan.

Blasted lump of metal!

Grogan? It's me, I've come for you.

Blast!

Grogan ?

- Hello, General.

- You unqualified lecher!

Qualified, General. Trinity College, Dublin, 1880.

- What do you say to swords, sir?

- What on earth for?

Blood must be shed, sir.

- Blood? Would you mind explaining yourself?

- Damn explanations, Grogan.

- I want bloodshed.

- Just a minute.

Do you deny, sir,

that these letters are addressed to you?

Er, no, no.

- Well? Well?

- Yes, well, er...

- What? I'm waiting.

- Ah.

That's very interesting.

Interesting? Yes.

Interesting and revealing, Grogan.

- Revealing that you are in love with my wife.

- Nonsense, she's a psychopath.

- They're always writing letters like this.

- You fiendish hypocrite!

Do you mean to deny, sir,

that my wife is in love with you?

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