Waltz of the Toreadors Page #7

- Get out of that bed, you lustful boy.

- You shall not touch him!

- What the deviI's that child doing in your bed?

- He has a cold.

201! Mon Dieu, he is boiling.

What are you talking about, 201? It's 102.

There's no need

for this plebeian business of wiping his forehead.

We've got servants at home to do that.

Robert, into your uniform, to horse, and away.

Never. He stays with me.

What the deviI's going on here?

Leo, I love him

What?

I love him.

So...you seduce young girls, do you?

Well, if you've got any guts, my young cock,

get up and show'em, and not just to the ladies.

- He wants blood!

- Get up and fight.

- Fetch me two swords, someone. Two swords.

- Leo...if you love me, don't hurt him.

- I'll cut his ears off because I do love you.

- No, Robert. Let him fight himself.

I'm ready, sir.

Damn you, Robert!

I'm sorry, Leo, but I do love him.

But...but damn it, he's not old enough

to take the woman I love.

You never took her at all.

Listen, I know my manners,

and anyway, I was going to.

But he did.

You're joking! That lily-white boy?

I belong to him, Leo.

The two-faced, vicious little bounder.

He took you by force, did he? I'll kill him for it.

No, Leo, not by force.

I gave myself to him.

You gave yourself to him?

I'm a woman, Leo, a creature of flesh and blood.

But, Ghislaine, I love you.

We were going away together.

You had it all planned.

No, Leo. Robert and I are going to be married.

- Never.

- You must accept it.

- You don't know what you're up against.

- Nothing will stop us.

I will, Madame. One can no longer

call you Mademoiselle, it seems.

I'm deaf to your insults.

Allow someone under my protection

to become involved with a woman of your age?

- Never, do you hear me? Never.

- Oh, do your worst!

- Lieutenant Fitch.

- Sir, I beg you...

Silence when you speak to me.

For being absent from your duties,

you are under close arrest.

Very good, very good, sir.

How's that for a start?

Whoa! Whoa, there!

In the midst of death, we are in life, sir,

- as you might say.

- Thank you very much. Most kind.

Most kind.

I er... I wouldn't do this for everybody, sir.

Not unless they pass on, of course.

Oh. Oh, yes.

Thank you very much. Most kind.

Who's there?

Midgeley, undertaker and cremation,

with two clients.

Old colleagues, Rev Grimshaw and me.

He sees them through,

and I push them over the edge, so to speak.

- Mr Fitch?

- Good morning, Reverend.

Mademoiselle Ste-Euverte.

Come in. Come in.

Er, is...is everything ready?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, but I'm sure

the whole thing's most unwise, most unwise.

We'd better get on with it. Excuse me.

I wanted them to have

one of the ebony and velvet jobs.

Costs a little more, of course,

but it's worth it for the extra comfort.

Yes, all right, Midgeley. All right, all right.

You may act as witness.

Would you follow me, please?

I think in the circumstances,

a shortened version, don't you?

Perhaps, yes.

Now, have you... Have you the necessary?

Oh.

Oh, dear me, no. No, no, no.

I don't mean that. I mean the...

I mean the ring.

They have waited for you, my love,

for 17 years.

Let me have it, would you, please?

That's all we need. Let us begin.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered togeth...

So sorry. Would you mind just changing places?

Thank you. That's it. That's right.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered together in the sight of the...

- ..face of this congregation, to join together

this man and this...

Midgeley!

Midgeley, please contain yourself.

At least play us the Wedding March.

No demand for it at burials, miss.

But I could do you Onward Christian Soldiers.

Hurry, Estella.

Oh, look, it's Papa. What shall we do?

Stop dithering. Come on!

Please hurry!

- Robert, you are betrayed.

- Dear Robert, think of us in your cold, cold cell.

- What are you talking about?

- Father's on his way.

- He can't stop us now.

- He's got a troop of cavalry.

I've got some urgent letters to attend to.

Some other time, perhaps.

- Squadron Sergeant Major.

- Sir.

Lieutenant Fitch, sir, you're under arrest, sir.

Yes, Sergeant Major.

Prisoner and escort, halt.

Lieutenant Fitch,

you are accused on two charges.

One:

being absent without leave

from your place of duty.

Do you deny this charge?

- No, sir.

- Two:

disobeying your commanding officer

by trying to marry

when his permission had been refused.

- Do you deny this charge?

-No, sir.

General Fitzjohn, sir.

Sir?

Will you kindly tell the court

what you know of the lady concerned?

Shocking reputation, sir.

For 17 years, she's been carrying on

- an adulterous and illicit affair...

- Liar!

- Madam!

- Why don't you try it?

- Try what?

- An adulterous affair with that old goat.

This is a military court martial.

- Kindly sit down, madam.

- But it's true!

He is at the bottom of this.

He is doing it out of spite.

- Sit down, madam.

- Spite, be damned.

Got to protect young officers

from designing women.

- Shall I tell you what that espce de vieux...?

- Women should never be allowed here.

Sit down at once, madam.

General Fitzjohn, if you don't sit down, sir,

I shall clear the court.

Oh, so this is your wonderful British justice!

Oh!

Sir, I wish to make a point

on behalf of the accused officer.

Carry on.

Lieutenant Fitch, have you any reason to believe

General Fitzjohn bears any ill will towards you?

Answer the question.

General Fitzjohn has always behaved

towards me with the greatest consideration, sir.

I have nothing

but respect and admiration for him.

- You've nothing to add to that?

-No, sir.

Lieutenant Fitch, the Court has found you guilty

of the charges against you.

- I have no option but to pass sentence.

- Stop it!

General Fitzjohn, sir, kindly sit down.

Don't talk to me like that.

I was a colonel before you got your first pip.

- I'm the President of this court.

- Then put an end to this nonsense.

- This officer is guilty.

- I withdraw the evidence.

May I remind you that you have no standing

in this court except as a witness?

No standing, damn it?

Don't be a bloody fool, Ackroyd,

I'm the boy's father.

My...my father, sir?

Yes, Robert, yes.

Your mother was a local lady,

a saucy dark-haired filly

with eyes a man could drown in.

My father?

Good heavens!

My...my dear old father.

Don't waste time, Robert. Go to it, the pair of you.

Oh, Robert,

it was him I loved in you from the start.

Don't worry, boy, I...

I'd have done just the same at your age.

I think, in the circumstances,

I'd better declare this court closed.

Lieutenant Fitch.

Yes, sir?

Er...case dismissed.

Leo!

- Leo?

- Yes.

- Are you there?

- I'm always here.

- It's cold.

- Yes.

The doctor's leaving.

Come up, Leo. Come up here.

Er, later.

Well, winter's coming on, General.

Shall we sound the curfew, eh?

Da dum

Da dum

I say, what do you take me for?

That's the Infantry lights out.

Oh, is it? I beg your pardon.

Well, how does yours go?

Da dee

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