Way Out West

---

(Music and chattering)

Hey, this thing

ain't working right.

It's working all right for me.

(Cheering)

(Applause )

(Landlord) Mary! Mary Roberts!

Get busy now. Here he is again.

What's up with you?

Why aren't you helping Lola?

I'm sorry, sir,

but the dishes...

Bother the dishes. You've got to

help her make her changes.

- Yes, sir.

- Now get going.

Come on, get going,

get going. Go on!

(All shout)

We want Lola! We want Lola!

(Silence )

Gentlemen, it's my aim

to give you the best

entertainment money can buy.

I've brought here

at great expense...

Get a piece of fat

and slide off!

Who said that?

(All scream )

All right, you'll get Lola.

(Laughter and shouting)

Hurry, they're getting restless.

- I gotta look good.

- They shot at me!

- Aw, quit your whining.

- Hurry!

If we ever get enough money,

we'll leave this one-horse tank.

Come on, hurry.

- How do I look?

- Like a million.

(Band plays )

(Applause and whistles )

# Say, I've been roamin'

from Frisco to Maine

# Been huntin' a man

that's not too tame

# He's gotta have somethin'

I need a lot

# Baby, dear,

that's what you've got

# Will you be my lovey-dovey,

my little honey man?

# We could bill and coo

- Baby!

- # The way all lovers do

# Will you be my ducky-wucky,

my little sugar pie?

# Never make you blue

# I'd be so sweet to you... #

Say, Finn, you're a lucky skate,

having a swell gal like Lola.

I certainly am.

What do you mean?

She's the lucky one,

having a swell fellow like me.

- # Will you be my lovey-dovey

- That's me.

# My little honey man?

# I'm a little bit lonesome... #

Have you seen my husband?

Yeah, over there.

# Won't you be my ownsome

- # My little turtle dove... #

- Will I?!

Waiter, I want a big bottle

of wine, right here!

Come on, this here's no good.

Sweetheart!

Oh!

(Whistling and cheering)

Hi, Charley. Hiya, boys.

Oh!

Watch where you're going!

(Whistles )

Hey, Ollie, look.

We're only two miles from town.

Well, I'll never make it.

I've got one foot

in the grave now.

Hey, stop him.

Maybe we can get a ride.

I'll get my clothes on.

Hurry up.

Whoa! Whoa!

(Screeching)

All right, mister. We're in.

Come on, Dinah. Come on.

Are you going

to Brushwood Gulch?

Uh-huh.

We are, too.

A lot of weather

we've been having lately.

Pretty.

It's only four months

to Christmas.

Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Do you mind

if I put my hand right here?

I saw her first. Come.

That's it.

Darling!

Not you! I meant my husband.

Have a nice trip, darling?

Lovely...

until these two came aboard.

They've done nothing

but annoy me all the way in.

Here, you run along home.

Goodbye.

Fiddlin', huh?

We don't like your kind

around these parts.

And there's one thing

we don't allow,

and that's messin'

with our women.

If you want to stay healthy,

get the next coach

out of town.

Yes, sir. We'll be glad to.

Just as soon as we've finished

our business.

If you miss the next coach...

you'll be riding out of here

in a hearse.

- Good day, strangers.

- Good day, sir.

Goodbye.

Let well enough alone.

(All sing in harmony )

# Commence advancing,

right and left a-glancing

# A-mooch, a-dancing,

slide and glide entrancing

# You do the tango jiggle

to the Texas Tummy Wiggle

# Take your partner

and you hold her

# Slightly enfold her

# A little bolder,

just work your shoulder

# Snap your fingers one and all

in the hall at the ball

# That's all, some ball

# Commence to dancing,

commence to prancing

# Commence advancing,

right and left a-glancing

# A-mooch, a-dancing,

slide and glide entrancing

# You do the tango jiggle

to the Texas Tummy Wiggle

# Take your partner

and you hold her

# Slightly enfold her

# A little bolder,

just work your shoulder

# Snap your fingers one and all

in the hall at the ball

# That's all, some ball

# Commence to dancing,

commence to prancing

# Commence advancing,

right and left a-glancing

# A-mooch, a-dancing,

slide and glide entrancing

# You do the tango jiggle

to the Texas Tummy Wiggle

# Take your partner and you

hold her, slightly enfold her

# A little bolder,

just work your shoulder

# Snap your fingers one and all

in the hall at the ball

# That's all, some ball

# Commence to dancing,

commence to prancing

# Commence advancing,

right and left a-glancing

# A-mooch, a-dancing,

slide and glide entrancing

# You do the tango jiggle

to the Texas Tummy Wiggle

# Take your partner

and you hold her

# Slightly enfold her

# A little bolder,

just work your shoulder

# Snap your fingers one and all

in the hall at the ball

# That's all, some ball

# Commence to dancing,

commence to prancing

# Commence advancing,

right and left a-glancing

# A-mooch, a-dancing,

slide and glide entrancing

# You do the tango jiggle

to the Texas Tummy Wiggle

# Take your partner

and you hold her

# Slightly enfold her

# A little bolder,

just work your shoulder

# Snap your fingers one and all

in the hall at the ball

# That's all, some ball

# Commence to dancing,

commence to prancing

# Commence advancing,

right and left a-glancing

# A-mooch, a-dancing,

slide and glide entrancing

# You do the tango jiggle

to the Texas Tummy Wiggle

# Take your partner

and you hold her

# Slightly enfold her

# A little bolder,

just work your shoulder

# Snap your fingers one and all

in the hall at the ball

# That's all, some ball #

Howdy, gents. What'll it be?

Do you know the whereabouts

of a lady named Mary Roberts?

(Bartender) Sure.

She's around here someplace.

I'm Miss Roberts' guardian.

What do you want to see her for?

We have some news for her.

What's it about?

I'm sorry, sir, but we're

not supposed to discuss that.

It's private. Her father died

and left her a goldmine.

We're not supposed

to tell anyone but her.

Didn't we, Ollie?

- A goldmine?

- It's the biggest...

Now that he's taken you

into our confidence,

you might as well know the rest.

(Whispers ) We've got

the deed to the property.

We have to give it

to her in person.

What?

I said we've got the deed

to the property and... Oh!

Say, you better show it to him.

Maybe he doesn't believe us.

It's the truth.

Say, did I give you the deed?

Oh, I know where it is.

Excuse me.

See? Mary Roberts.

Come here. Have you ever seen

Mary Roberts?

Good. I'll go and find her.

Don't tell a soul till I return.

- We won't.

- Thank you.

Good thing we found her.

Lola!

Lola, we've got a fortune

right in the palm of our hand.

What?

There's men downstairs

looking for Mary Roberts.

So?

They have a deed to a goldmine

left to her by her father.

They're here to deliver it.

Well, ain't that just grand?

It would be

if you were Mary Roberts.

Yeah, but I'd never

get away with it.

Sure you would!

They've never seen her.

Then it's a cinch.

Put that shoe on properly.

- What's wrong?

- I can't eat that.

It's as tough as shoe leather.

- Think you can do it?

- Can I do it(?)

For a goldmine,

I could be Cleopatra.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes