Way Out West Page #2

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- That's the girl.

- Bring 'em up.

(Landlord) Hey!

- Come and meet Mary Roberts.

- Right away.

Did you call, Mr Finn?

Get back to the kitchen where

you belong. Don't bother me.

This way, gentlemen.

Come right this way.

This way, gentlemen.

Sit down and I'll get Lola...

I mean Mary for you.

I've told her the news

and she's terribly shocked.

- Lola, they're here.

- Swell, kiddo.

Put these in your arms.

Mary, these are the gentlemen

I was telling you about.

(Clop!)

Tell me... Tell me

about my dear, dear daddy.

Is it true that he's dead?

Well, we hope he is.

They buried him.

It can't be. What did he die of?

I think he died of a Tuesday.

Or was it Wednesday? Do you...?

I'll handle

this delicate situation.

Little lady,

you've heard the worst.

Now prepare yourself

for the best.

Now, cheer up.

Smile. That's right.

Remember, every cloud

has a silver lining.

That's right.

Any bird can build a nest,

but it isn't everyone that can

lay an egg, is it, Ollie?

That's right.

Do you know you own one of the

richest goldmines in the world?

Your father left you

the whole property.

And he gave me the honour

of presenting you with the deed.

- Isn't it wonderful, Uncle?

- Yes, my dear.

Who's there?

- Mary.

- Mary who?

Mary... Merry Christmas.

Excuse me, Mr Finn.

One gentleman

dropped this on the stairs.

Ooh, thank you, little lady.

You don't know what you've done.

All right. All right. All right.

There you are.

Signed, sealed and now...

delivered.

- Thank you so much.

- Not at all.

Come, Stanley. We'd better go.

Oh, say. What about the locket?

- That's right...

- We've something else.

I almost forgot.

And besides that...

your father left you

this family heirloom.

Oh, yes. I remember it well.

Help me get it off, Stanley.

Am I hurting you?

No. Just a minute...

Won't be long.

Maybe I'd better try

opening it again.

I think so.

(Whispers ) Slipped.

Maybe you'd better

take your coat off.

Pardon me just a minute.

We'll find it in just a moment.

We got it.

I'll go in and change.

Pardon us.

- Say, Ollie?

- What?

Now that you're undressed,

why not take a bath?

Would you mind leaving the room?

Can't I have a little privacy?

Just trying to kill two birds

with one stone.

I'll take care of those bozos.

Don't worry, leave it to me.

I've done pretty good so far.

You certainly have.

I wish you were in my shoes.

- (Coughs ) How about a drink?

- That suits me fine.

- How did you dress so quick?

- None of your business.

Goodbye, and thanks

for the use of your boudoir.

- You're very welcome.

- Goodbye.

Now you have the mine,

you'll be a swell gold-digger.

Goodbye.

Why did you leave them?

You have her sign

the deeds over to us.

You get those guys

out of town now!

All right.

What a cinch.

Give the gentlemen the best

in the house.

Yes, sir.

I'll be back in a minute.

# On a mountain in Virginia

# Stands a lonesome pine

# Just below is the cabin home

# Of a little girl of mine

# Her name is June

and very, very soon

# She'll belong to me

# For I know

she's waiting there for me

# 'Neath that lone pine tree

(In harmony ) # In the Blue Ridge

Mountains of Virginia

# On the trail

of the lonesome pine

# In the pale moonshine,

our hearts entwine

# Where she carved her name

and I carved mine

# Oh, June,

like the mountains I'm blue

# Like the pine

I'm lonesome for you-oh-oh-oh

# In the Blue Ridge Mountains

of Virginia

# On the trail

of the lonesome pine

(Bass voice ) # In the Blue Ridge

Mountains of Virginia

# On the trail

of the lonesome pine

# In the pale moonshine,

our hearts entwine

# Where she carved her name

and I carved mine

# Oh, June,

like the mountains I'm blue

# Like the pine

I am lonesome for you

(Clunk!)

(Sings soprano ) # In the Blue

Ridge Mountains of Virginia

# On the trail

of the lonesome pi-ine #

(Crash)

(Snores )

That's fine.

Miss Lola, what is this for?

Er... Now whatever we do

on your behalf is legal.

Thank you very much.

Don't mention it. Now run right

along with your work.

Well, here's looking at you.

(Growling)

Shoo!

- Well, I've got to be going.

- So have we.

- Goodbye, Mr Finn.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye, mister.

- Goodbye, sir.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

Have a good time.

Goodbye, Miss, er...? Miss...?

Roberts. Mary Roberts.

- Goodbye, Miss Roberts.

- Goodbye.

Did you hear what her name was?

Sure - Mary Roberts.

How can she be if we've just

given the deed to Mary Roberts?

I don't know.

- I smell a rat.

- I smell something, too.

(Sizzling)

Come on.

Pardon me.

Did you ever have

a father called Sy Roberts?

Why, yes. He left me with these

people when he went prospecting.

Who's that woman upstairs?

Lola Marcel. Mr Finn's wife.

She's my legal guardian now.

Can I speak to you?

- Pardon us.

- We'll be right back.

- You know what?

- What?

I think we've given that deed

to the wrong woman.

Our first mistake since that guy

sold us the Brooklyn Bridge.

That was no mistake. It'll be

worth a lot of money some day.

Maybe you're right.

Let's get the deed.

Say, maybe they won't

give it back to us?

What do you mean?

We'll get that deed

or I'll eat your hat.

That's what

I call determination.

Come on.

Splendid! Splendid!

She fell for it

like you fell for me.

Lola, my girl,

we're sittin' pretty.

- Who's there?

- Me.

- Me who?

- Me who(!)

What do you want?

Out of my way,

you snake in the grass!

You toad in the hole.

Say, what do ya mean

bustin' in here like this?

We want to know

why you're not Mary Roberts.

I'll take care of this.

So, you got wise?

If it's this deed you're after,

you're out of luck.

Take it, Stan. Beat it!

That's it. There you are!

Ow! Ow! AAAH!

AAAH!

(Puffs )

That's it!

Get it, Stan! Get it!

Go on, get it! Go on, Stan!

Go on and get it, Stan!

Give me that deed.

Get away! Get away!

Why don't you...?

Give me that!

Go on, get it.

Get away from that door!

Get away from it!

Now, you stop.

Stop!

(Laughs )

Back! Steady! Get back.

(Squeals) Ollie,

come and get...

Don't you touch that!

Stop! Ooh, you're tickling!

Not yet! Not yet!

Stay where you are. Don't move!

Ah-ha!

Ho-ho!

Hee-hee!

(Ollie yelling)

Here, Stan, take it!

I can't stand it!

Now, get 'em outta here.

(Finn ) Get out!

Now! Get out!

(Knock on door)

- Who's there?

- The Sheriff.

Just in the nick of time.

Now we'll get justice.

Sheriff, you're just the man

I'm looking for.

And you're just the man

I'M looking for.

Thank you. This man... Oh.

(Laughs even more )

I thought I told you two dudes

to catch the next coach.

Yes, sir.

It left ten minutes ago.

It did? Maybe we'd better

try and catch it.

I'll say you better!

(Gunshots )

Look at them go!

You can't see them for dust.

- Say, Ollie?

- What?

Are we taking a chance going

back and robbing that safe?

Chance or no chance,

we must get that deed back.

As soon as my clothes are dry,

that's exactly what we'll do.

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