We Are Your Friends

1

WELL, IT'S GONNA BE

A BIG NIGHT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, HOW MUCH

ARE WE LOOKIN' AT?

I'll give you five a head.

FIVE A HEAD? F*** YOU!

THERE'S TIKI BARS IN ENCINO

THAT PAY MORE THAN THAT.

WE'RE GONNA PULL OU ON YOU THEN.

HOW ABOUT I GUARANTEE YOU

500 HEADS...

AND YOU F***IN' BUMP US UP

TO SEVEN?

You pull 500 girls

into the club,

I'll give you f***in' head.

Wait, am I on speaker?

YEAH, MY PHONE'S BROKE.

WHAT TIME IS COLE'S SET?

Oh, yeah, Cole.

I got him down at 9:00 pm.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHO'S GOIN' ON AT 11:00?

Uh, uh, DJ Devin

playing at 11:
00.

DOES DJ DEVIN HAVE 25 KAPPA

ALPHA ALPHA OMEGA SLUTS

COMING IN:

A F***ING PARTY BUS?

'CAUSE THEY AIN'T GONNA

BE THERE UNTIL 11:00.

YO, BE A F***IN' GENTLEMAN,

NICKY.

Be a gentleman?

F*** you, kid.

11:
00.

And fix your Goddamn phone.

ALL RIGHT, B*TCH.

GOT YOU, BOO!

UH! PRIME TIME!

YOU KNOW, IT'S A MAJOR NIGH FOR MY BOY, ALL RIGHT?

JUST, YOU KNOW, CUT LOOSE.

BRING WHOEVER.

BRING 'EM ALL, BRING 'EM ALL.

THE GIRL WITH THE DIMPLES.

SEE YOU THEN.

150 HEADS.

NICE, MAN.

NO THANKS.

AND THE SQUIRREL

CAME SCURRYING UP THE TREE.

YO, YO!

GET OUT, I'M DRIVIN'.

WHAT?

GET OUT, I'M DRIVIN'.

GET IN, GET IN,

COME ON.

THERE HE IS.

WEARING A LEATHER JACKE IN THE SUMMERTIME.

AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD GOD.

FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

TWO...ONE.

JAMES REED,

THURSDAYS, SOCIAL.

YOU SHOULD COME OU TO SOCIAL.

JAMES REED:

IS HEADLINING.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

DO YOU LIKE ELECTRONIC MUSIC?

YOUR NOSE JOB:

LOOKS GREAT.

DO YOU PROMISE?

JAMES REED, SOCIAL, THURSDAYS.

BRING YOUR FRIENDS,

BRING ALL YOUR FRIENDS.

IF THEY LOOK LIKE YOU,

BRING 'EM ALL.

HERE, HERE, ALL YOU GUYS.

GIRL, YOU WANNA COME OU ON THURSDAY?

JAMES REED IS DEEJAYING.

SOCIAL. THURSDAYS.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

OKAY.

HERE, PUT YOUR NUMBER

IN MY PHONE.

IF YOU GUYS BRING

LIKE A COUPLE FRIENDS,

I CAN GET YOU:

A FREE BOTTLE.

IT'S COLE, BY THE WAY.

SEE YOU THURSDAY.

I SHOULD'VE GONE

TO COLLEGE.

THIS IS:

THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY...

THAT FLAT STRETCH OF LAND

ON THE OTHER SIDE

OF THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS.

OUR GREATEST CONTRIBUTIONS

TO AMERICAN CULTURE

REMAIN THE PORN INDUSTRY

AND DITZY GIRLS...

BUT WE'VE ALSO GO THE BEST SUSHI

IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

AND IT'S ALWAYS

IN A STRIP MALL. ALWAYS.

THAT'S MY FRIEND MASON'S HOUSE.

AND THAT'S THE POOL HOUSE

IN THE BACK,

WHERE I'VE BEEN LIVING

SINCE I WAS 15.

THAT'S WHERE WE THREW DOWN WITH

SOME PUNKS FROM CANOGA PARK.

NOW I GOT THIS AWESOME SCAR.

AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.

SHH.

YO, YO, THE FACT IS THA 99% OF ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD,

THEY'RE LOOKIN' FOR A PARTY.

OKAY, AND 1% OF PEOPLE,

THEY ARE THE PARTY.

YOU GOTTA F***IN' BE THAT.

YOU KNOW, YOUR BODY'S 85% WATER,

AND I'M THIRSTY. I'M THIRSTY.

THIS ISN'T SOME UNCE-UNCE,

BRIDGE-AND-TUNNEL BULLSHIT.

THIS IS THE BEST DANCE PARTY

IN L.A.

AND THAT GUY RIGHT THERE...

HE'S DEEJAYING.

I'M DEEJAYING.

JUST THE SIDE ROOM, THOUGH.

IT'S JUST THE SIDE ROOM.

THESE DAYS, YOU CAN INVEN AN APP, START A BLOG,

SELL SH*T ONLINE,

BUT IF YOU'RE A DJ,

ALL YOU NEED IS A LAPTOP,

SOME TALENT, ONE TRACK.

THAT TRACK IS YOUR TICKE TO EVERYTHING.

MAN, DEEJAYING, PRODUCING...

LOOK, IT'S HARD.

IT'S A SATURATED MARKET.

YEAH, 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ENOUGH ACTORS IN L.A.

I'M NOT AN ACTOR.

I'M A MOVIE STAR.

THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST...

-THE BEST...

-THE BEST...

-THE BEST NIGHT...

-THE BEST NIGHT...

-BEST...

-NIGHT...

-OF...

-YOUR...

-LIFE.

YOU'RE SO F***ING PRETTY,

OLLIE. LIKE AN ANGEL.

GET OFF ME,

YOU SMELL LIKE SH*T.

THIS ONE'S OFF BEACHWOOD.

FOUR BEDROOMS,

A PARTY DECK,

200 SQUARE FOO DINING ROOM.

PERFECT FOR ENTERTAINING.

YO, WE CAN TURN THE DINING ROOM

INTO OUR OFFICE.

MASE, DUDE, THE CHEAPEST PLACE

HERE IS SIX GRAND.

I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH

MONEY TO FIX YOUR CAR.

HEY. WITH OLLIE'S DRUG MONEY...

SHUT-

AND OUR NIGHTS AT SOCIAL

BLOWING UP, OKAY...

WE'RE GONNA BE OUT OF THE VALLEY

BY THE END OF THIS SUMMER.

OKAY? AND I FEEL...

LOOK, I FEEL REALLY F***ING GOOD

ABOUT THURSDAY.

I MEAN, LIKE, SO GOOD,

LIKE WHEN JENNY HAZE

PUT HER FINGER UP MY A**HOLE,

DUDE. LIKE THAT KINDA GOOD.

- DUDE, THAT WAS YOUR FINGER.

- THAT WAS YOUR FINGER.

I'M PRETTY SURE

SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE.

- JENNA HAZE'S FINGERS.

- LISTEN, BELIEVE IN ME.

BELIEVE 'CAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU.

WHAT'S UP, KIDS?

GOOD TO SEE YOU, BRO.

YOU'RE LOOKIN' SHARP

AS EVER, PAIGE.

YEAH, YOU TOO, MAN.

HEY, YOU KNOW MY BOYS.

SQUIRREL, COLE, AND MASON.

WHAT'S UP? THE YOUNG HUSTLERS

CLUB. I LIKE IT, I LIKE IT.

WE PREFER TO BE CALLED

ENTREPRENEURS, BUT...

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

YOU'RE AN ENTREPRENEUR?

MY KINDA GUY.

YO, PAIGE, MAN,

YOU SHOULD COME:

TO THE NEW SPOT, SOCIAL,

ON THURSDAY.

SOCIAL?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

YEAH, TAKE CARE OF ME, HUH?

THAT'S RIGHT.

TELL YOU WHAT, WHENEVER

YOU GUYS ARE READY

TO START MAKIN'

SOME REAL LOOT...

YOU NEED TO HOLLER AT ME.

YOU KNOW, BRING THE BOYS.

CAN YOU DO THAT?

THINK ABOUT IT, HUH?

I TELL YOU WHAT, BRUNCH

IS ON ME, ALL RIGHT, FELLAS?

WHAT'S HE TALKIN' ABOUT,

MONEY? WHAT MONEY?

MAN, PAIGE IS

ALWAYS RECRUITIN'.

FOR WHAT? DOESN'T HE,

LIKE, PRODUCE PORN?

NO, HE'S IN REAL ESTATE,

ASSFACE.

CAN HE JUST, WHAT,

GET US A HOUSE THEN?

NO.

WE'RE SITTIN' HERE

TALKIN' ABOUT HOUSES...

NO, NO, NO. HE'S LIKE

A REAL ESTATE BUSINESSMAN.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

OKAY, I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE

WHAT HE DOES, BUT...

HE'S MAKIN' A LOT OF MONEY

DOIN' IT.

OOH.

MASON.

MASON.

I ASKED YOU THREE TIMES

TO WORK ON THAT ROOF YESTERDAY.

THE TOILET'S STILL BROKEN.

OKAY. I'LL F***IN'

DO IT LATER.

NOW.

OKAY.

YOU TOO, COLE.

SORRY MY DAD'S

SUCH A DICK.

LATER, POP.

WHOO!

CHEERS.

CHEERS.

ALL RIGHT,

THIS IS FOR YOU, SQUIRREL.

YO, I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE,

I GOT ONE. I GOT ONE.

THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE

WITH ALL YOU GUYS...

THIS IS HONESTLY

MY FAVORITE PART OF THE NIGHT.

IT'S THE MOMEN BEFORE IT STARTS.

MASON! MASON, WHERE'S

MY FIVE-HUNDO, BRO?

YOU SEE THE F***IN' LINE

OUTSIDE?

YOU CAN WAIT TO THANK ME TILL

THE END OF THE NIGHT, 'KAY?

HEY, YOU. DO NOT PLAY

ANY OF THE SONGS

ON THAT LIST,

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

SAVE FIREPOWER FOR MR. REED.

WHOO-HOO.

HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.

YOU LOOK SO F***ING IMPORTAN WITH THAT LIST IN YOUR HAND.

HERE YOU GO.

WHAT'S UP, DEVIN?

WHAT'S UP, COLE?

HOW YOU DOIN'?

I'M GOOD, MAN.

GOOD.

YEAH. WARMING THE ROOM

UP FOR YA.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

THANKS, BRO.

HEY, BUDDY.

ALL RIGHT, HAVE FUN, MAN.

WHAT A DICK.

YO, OLLIE, MY MAIN MAN.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. LOOK,

HOOK ME UP WITH ANOTHER ROUND.

I'LL THROW YOU IN A VINE,

I'LL MAKE YOU FAMOUS AND SH*T.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT YOU.

YOU GUYS LET ME KNOW

IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, ALL RIGHT?

OFF THE MENU.

HEY, BRO, BRO.

I'M BOYS WITH YOUR FRIEND.

YOU KNOW, OLLIE.

THE PRETTY BOY.

SORRY, KID.

I'M F***IN' SORRY.

WAIT, WAIT.

WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY?

YOU KNOW HIM?

DON'T BRO ME

IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

THIS PARTY SUCKS.

L.A.'S DEAD.

- HI, SARA.

- HI, SARA.

HEY, COLE.

CAN YOU PLAY "DRUNK IN LOVE"?

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