We Are Your Friends Page #2

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

HEY, SQUIRREL.

I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

OW!

WHAT THE HELL?

WE GOTTA ROUND UP CHICKS

FOR PAIGE.

LOOKS LIKE:

HE'S DOING FINE.

YEAH,

THOSE GIRLS ARE WACK.

ALL RIGHT,

FIND ME SOMETHING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

OF THIS GUY?

THIS GUY?

YEAH.

I THINK HE'S GETTING PAID

TOO MUCH.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

ABOUT HIM?

I THINK HE USED:

TO BE GOOD.

BUT NOW I THINK HE JUST GIVES

THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

HEY, DO YOU WANNA COME SI AT MY FRIEND'S TABLE?

YOU CAN DRINK FOR FREE.

DO YOU PROMOTE HERE?

NO.

MY FRIENDS PROMOTE HERE.

RIGHT.

I KINDA HELP.

WELL, HAVE A NICE NIGHT.

I--

HEY, YOU'RE JAMES REED,

RIGHT?

MM.

YOU SMOKE?

YES, I DO.

WHAT THE F*** IS THAT?

WHAT?

IS THERE TOBACCO IN THAT?

YEAH.

IT'S A SPLIFF.

A SPLIFF?

WHAT ARE YOU, FRENCH?

NO. I'M AMERICAN.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS

THE MOST IMPORTANT ADVICE

YOU'RE EVER GONNA GET.

NEVER MIX THC WITH NICOTINE.

IT FOGS UP THE HIGH.

IT LASTS LONGER:

IF YOU MIX IT.

IT'S NOT ABOU MAKING IT LAST LONGER,

IT'S ABOUT ENJOYING IT.

YOU SPIN HERE REGULARLY?

YEAH.

AND THEY PAY YOU?

MM-MM. NO.

BUT THE DRINKS ARE FREE.

WELL, THAT'S NICE OF 'EM.

DO YOU WANNA GO:

TO A PARTY?

WHAT, LIKE NOW?

YEAH. RIGHT NOW.

SHOULD BE FUN.

YEAH.

YOU WANT?

YEAH, SURE.

SO LIKE, WHERE HAVE

YOU BEEN TO SPIN?

OKAY. TOKYO, BERLIN,

FRANKFURT...

BELGIUM...DUBAI, WHICH IS

IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

YEAH, IT'S LIKE VEGAS

OF THE MIDDLE EAST.

IBIZA, MAJORCA, MADRID...

PARIS.

PARIS, THEY GOT SOME

GREAT MUSIC RIGHT NOW.

YO, YOU SEEN COLE?

I CAN'T SAY I HAVE.

THEN WHAT'S THE PLAN?

SEE YOU IN THE MORNIN'.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! EASY.

THAT PAINTING IS

WORTH MORE THAN MY CAR.

JAMES?

MMM?

THIS PAINTING'S ALIVE.

NAH. THAT'S JUS THE PCP TALKIN'.

PCP? OOH.

WELL, I'VE SEEN MANY DOOR GIRLS

IN MY DAY, BUT THIS ONE--

LOOK...I WILL GO HOME

WITH YOU TONIGH UNDER TWO CONDITIONS.

YES.

ONE, YOU UNDERSTAND

THAT IT IS PITY SEX...

AND I WILL NEVER ADMI TO IT.

OKAY.

AND TWO, YOU SHUT THE F*** UP

FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

OKAY?

WHERE ARE THOSE NUTS,

SQUIRREL?

WHERE'D YOU HIDE

YOUR F***ING NUTS?

- IT AIN'T WINTER YET.

- NO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ME AND JAMES WEN TO A PARTY. I THINK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I LIVE HERE.

OH, MY GOD.

MY BRAIN IS BLEEDING.

MY BLOOD IS GOING TO STAR COMING OUT OF MY EYEBALLS.

YOU LIKE THIS HOMELESS PUPPY

I FOUND?

IS HE HOUSE-BROKEN?

I DON'T KNOW.

CHECK THE RUGS.

I CAN ACTUALLY SMELL THE WHISKEY

FERMENTING ON YOUR SKIN.

OH?

YOU DIDN'T DRIVE HOME

LAST NIGHT, DID YOU?

YOU USED TO SMELL

LIKE FERMENTED LIQUOR, TOO.

COLE, THIS IS SOPHIE,

MY ROLE MODEL.

NICE TO MEET YOU, COLE.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU WERE TALKING A BIG GAME

LAST NIGHT, KID.

I WAS?

YOU WERE SAYING HOW

ALL YOU NEED IS ONE TRACK...

YOU WERE GONNA CONTROL

PEOPLES' HEARTS...

YOU WERE GONNA FLY

AROUND THE WORLD.

I'M NOT SUPPOSED

TO DRINK WHISKEY.

OR TAKE PCP.

UH...

DO YOU HAVE ANY ASPIRIN?

WE HAVE TONS OF ASPIRIN,

BUT I'M NOT GIVIN' YOU SH*T...

TILL YOU PLAY ME SOMETHING.

YOU HAVE TRACKS:

ON YOUR PHONE, RIGHT?

OKAY. IT'S NOT REALLY

MORNING MUSIC.

OH, WELL, THAT'S OKAY

BECAUSE IT'S 12:
30.

IT'S 12:
30?

I'M JUST GONNA

SKIP AHEAD.

IT'S FUN.

FUN?

I AM GONNA POUR MYSELF

A DRINK...

BEFORE THIS HANGOVER

GETS REAL.

SOPH, CAN WE GET COLE

AN UBER?

UM...

I CAN GIVE HIM A RIDE.

I HAVE SOME ERRANDS TO RUN,

SO...

GREAT! I'LL BE HERE,

FESTERING SLOWLY.

YOU KNOW,

JAMES IS A SNOB.

HE'S REALLY HARD

ON EVERYONE, SO...

DON'T WORRY.

IT'S COOL.

IT'S NOTHING.

STANFORD, HUH?

THAT'S A NICE SCHOOL.

DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE?

NO.

I COULD'VE GONE

TO COLLEGE.

MMM.

COULD'VE RUN TRACK

AT UC DAVIS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU?

WELL, SCHOOL'S

A WASTE OF TIME.

IT CAN BE...

IF YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING

BETTER WITH YOUR TIME.

CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS

JUST LEFT ME:

ABANDONED THERE:

WITH SARA.

D*CKS.

SHE DID UNSPEAKABLE THINGS.

THIS F***IN' BEAT MY ASS.

I THOUGHT I WAS STRONG, MAN.

GIRL WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL ME

LATER. IT'S WHATEVER.

GENTLEMEN...

YOUR EARNINGS.

HEY, HEY.

THERE IT IS.

200 BUCKS?

WHAT THE F*** IS THIS, MAN?

WE BROUGHT IN 560 PEOPLE

LAST NIGHT.

WE BROUGHT IN 562.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE POINT OF

THIS. WE BRING IN 500 HEADS--

I'M GONNA F***IN' MURDER

THAT CHEESE-DICK.

MOTHERF***ER!

LOOK, I JUST READ

ABOUT THIS GUY, RIGHT,

WHO INVENTED INSTAGRAM.

HE SOLD IT FOR $400 MILLION.

SO?

MAN, HE WAS 26 YEARS OLD.

I MEAN, HE SPENT THE NEX F***ING YEAR OF HIS LIFE

FLYING AROUND THE WORLD,

TAKING PICTURES OF HIS

GIRLFRIEND ON DIFFERENT BEACHES.

KEVIN SYSTROM.

WHAT?

IT'S KEVIN SYSTROM, THE GUY

WHO INVENTED INSTAGRAM.

HIS NAME IS KEVIN SYSTROM.

F*** KEVIN SYSTROM.

DUDE, I LIVE FOR THURSDAYS.

THE CLUB IS MY THING.

YEAH, MAN, I'M NOT SAYING

WE SHOULD QUIT ALTOGETHER,

BUT AREN'T YOU TIRED

OF TAKIN' TAXIS

BACK FROM F***IN' SILVER LAKE

EVERY NIGHT?

I'M TIRED OF TAKING SQUIRREL'S

MOM'S F***ING STATION WAGON.

OKAY, I'M TIRED OF DRIVING

YOUR BUM ASS AROUND.

I'M F***ING TIRED OF YOU JERKING

OFF FIVE FEET FROM MY PILLOW.

OH, MAN, YOU'RE NOT GONNA

GET TIRED OF THAT EVER.

YOU GUYS WANNA MAKE REAL MONEY?

OR YOU WANNA F***IN' LIVE

AND DIE IN THE VALLEY?

LOOK, I HAVE AN IDEA.

IN MY LIFE,

I DO NOT RELY ON ANYTHING

THAT'S NOT CONCRETE.

ALL THIS ABSTRACT,

COMPUTERIZED, DIGITIZED,

ON PAPER BULLSHIT.

IT'S FOR PUSSIES.

F*** A DIAMOND,

THAT SH*T'S FOREVER.

HI, MRS. HENDERSON?

HI, I'M CALLING FROM GOLD STAR

REALTY SOLUTIONS.

HI, MY NAME IS COLE. I'M CALLING

FROM GOLD STAR REALTY SOLUTIONS.

THIS IS A LIST OF HOMEOWNERS

IN THE AREA:

THAT ARE IN THE UNFORTUNATE

POSITION OF FACING FORECLOSURE.

I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD TALK

TO A MR. STEIN?

MR. STEEN?

SO WE'RE COLD-CALLING

PEOPLE?

NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU ARE CALLING

PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED

WITH THE SOLUTION

THAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR.

WHEN YOU CALL THESE PEOPLE,

YOU'RE CALLING AS THEIR FRIEND.

WE CHARGE $5,000 TO NEGOTIATE

THEIR FORECLOSURES

WITH THE BANKS.

EVERY DEAL YOU CLOSE...

I GIVE YOU 15%.

WELL, THAT'S LIKE SIX--

$750.

BOOM.

GOOD F***IN' MATH, KID.

NOW, TO RESTORE YOUR FAITH

IN HUMANITY,

LET ME BREAK YOU OFF SOMETHIN',

REAL PROPER LIKE.

WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM, BOYS.

HOLY SH*T!

THAT'S LIKE 1,000 BUCKS,

AT LEAST.

SMELL IT. SMELL IT. SMELL IT.

LET'S DO THIS,

LET'S DO THIS.

COME ON,

IT'S A GOOD THING.

SO, DAD...

ME AND COLE, WE'VE BEEN

MAKING SOME MONEY,

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE

WE COULD INVEST IN THE ROOF

AND SOME FLOORS:

AND WE COULD HAVE

THIS F***IN' HOUSE

READY TO SELL BY WINTER

FOR SURE.

HELLO?

Yo, San Fernando!

It's James.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

What are you doing Saturday?

NOTHIN'.

NOTHIN', WHY?

You wanna make some cash?

DOIN' WHAT?

YES, BUT ITALY,

IF THEY COULD ONLY

PULL TOGETHER SOME

KIND OF A NEW PHILOSOPHY.

I MEAN, ONE AMERICANS

WILL WATCH--

HEY, CAN YOU PLAY

"DRUNK IN LOVE"?

UH...

PLEASE.

YEAH, SURE,

I'LL TRY TO WORK IT IN.

FOR YOU, SIR. FROM JAMES.

WHAT, ARE YOU LIKE

HIS SECRETARY NOW?

HIS ASSISTANT, ACTUALLY.

WHAT, YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED.

WOW.

OH, I'M SORRY,

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