We the Party Page #3

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and rework it.

And if you don't buy a ticket for prom,

you can't vote for prom queen.

We all know who that should be.

Dude, she's like the black

Sarah Palin, you know?

- I know, man.

- Yeah.

Yo, you got the tape, right?

You know it. Invisible.

- All right, let's roll.

- This is geniosity, bro.

- Hendrix.

- Ooh!

- Thought he was slick.

- Go hang out with Pops.

- Sorry, man.

- Need you to stay after class, remember?

Yeah, um, there's only 10 minutes

till the next class,

and I need to get my books.

And I need to use the restroom.

That's nice.

That's real nice.

Sit down.

By your side

- What we got here?

- Bet you're right on it.

Number one on the mandatory

tutor retardo-list.

- C.c.

- Oh!

Who gonna tutor the drive-by shooter?

Pop! pop! pop! pop'

Dude, do not drop my phone.

Okay, okay, okay,

it's good. It's good.

All right, all right.

- Don't f*** with it.

- I'm trying to help out.

Guys, I'm having second thoughts.

Why do I have to go first, man?

Look, dude, it's a scientific fact.

White kids are less likely to get caught

doing sh*t than black kids.

- Dude, that's bullshit.

- It's true, all right?

Captain, we have got

a visual image.

All right, get ready.

Take us home, Scotty.

- Okay. All right.

- Go get out there.

See it through.

Join up to make

your dreams come true.

Some girls have all the luck, huh?

He just asked her to prom.

Que goes for the big-ass

ghetto booty every time.

Oh, my God, she got

a lace G-string, dawg.

Dawg, it totally worked.

You can see the bush.

It's like right there.

That's definitely not

a bush. That's a shadow.

That is more bush

than George W. himself.

You need to enjoy this, dude.

Enjoy it.

Well, Stunner asked Cheyenne to the prom.

She's way out of your social domain, bro.

What did you expect to happen?

- Shauniqua Vaquiso!

- Oh!

F*** you, Reggie.

You little conceited-ass b*tch.

Everybody knows Shauniqua

and her mama

look like Monique in Precious.

You think you're smart?

You want that higher learning?

Well, you ain't sh*t.

You ain't gonna never be sh*t.

F*** you.

Why you all up on me, Que?

You got some funny sh*t to say, too?

Actually, no.

Um, I just wanted to say

I've been on the retard list twice.

It can actually be

a positive experience.

You know, someone will tutor you.

And you'll bond with them.

Like Nietzsche says,

That which doesn't kill you

makes you stronger.

Hey, get the f*** out of my way.

F***.

Guys, did you see that?

- You almost got killed out there.

- Sh*t.

She got a body

like Serena Williams.

Maybe, but Serena ain't ghetto.

I don't care. The twins are

the finest women on campus.

And Shauniqua's into me, dude.

- I know.

- You crazy, nigga.

Michelle's coming out there.

Get back out there, please.

No, no dude.

I just almost got killed.

- No, dude.

- Please.

- No, dude. You got to do it.

- You know Reggie won't let me near Michelle.

You know what?

Mopey, it's your turn to go.

I'm not in this at all.

Oh, my gosh. You're scared,

Mini-Me ain't doing sh*t,

and you're heartbroken.

You know, give me that shoe.

I'm gonna film this kitty

like the goddamn Discovery Channel.

Go for it.

Hey, Paco, you know they can deport you

if you don't maintain that B average, ese.

Dude, holy sh*t.

What girl wears

leopard print panties

with pink lace trim on the side

if she does not want anyone

to admire them?

Guys know what a leopard is?

- What?

- It's a 200-pound p*ssy

that'll eat a man up.

Dumbshit 10, our very own...

Hendrix Sutton.

Get your ass down here, boy.

Go.

Hey, man, shut up, boy.

Looks like Papa Bear's

failing Baby Bear

and killing his GPA.

Reggie, stop.

- Aw.

- Hey, don't cry, please.

They say the eyes

are the windows to the soul.

Now, you can't look people in the eyes,

they ain't gonna trust you.

And they sure as hell

won't hire you.

Are you afraid to look me

in the eyes, C.C.?

You okay?

Yeah.

My big bro in town,

so could I go now?

Go ahead.

I can't believe you put me

on the retard list.

The tutoring list is

voluntary and mandatory.

I volunteered you.

Nobody volunteers to be on that list.

Do you even know

how you made me look?

Yeah, like a kid who

wants to get his grades up.

I tried to tell you earlier,

but you was in too much of a rush.

In all my other classes,

I have at least a

And you settle for a

When Mom told me

you were going to work here,

she said I didn't even need

to take your class.

I took it out of respect for you,

because it would make you happy.

And it does, son.

Now, make me happy,

and get an Okay, you can do it.

It's time to tutor.

Finals are coming...

I don't have time to tutor, Dad.

I need to get enough money

to pay for a car and pay...

Don't interrupt me.

Now, let me clarify something for you.

You don't get your grades up,

there's no more party business.

There's no going out,

and there's no car.

- What if I move back in with Mom?

- No.

No more ping-ponging

back and forth

between me and Mom to see

who you get a better deal from.

You're with me until you graduate.

- Anything else?

- No.

You still need me to get your D.J.

equipment over to Chowder's?

No.

All right, I'll see you after the party.

Boom, boom, boom.

Bring that energy. Bring that energy.

Yes, yes.

That's right, girls. Hit it.

Huh.

Looks like your senior class project's

gonna be the bomb.

I hope so.

Point those toes, girls.

Hey, Megan, I like that little extra

"I got it going on" attitude

you're doing, girl.

Thanks, Dr. Sutton.

Keep that energy up.

Let's take a walk.

Five, six, seven, eight.

If they ain't offering no full scholarship,

I'm not interested.

Okay, all right.

All right, bye.

- Hey.

- What up?

It's the list of locations for the shoot.

Read it to me.

Sunday morning, 9 A.M.

At the 14th Street Mission

near the Bowery.

Skid Row?

What, I'm interviewing bums?

Homeless people.

Sponsors ain't gonna want their new star

interviewing no homeless people.

You ain't got no sponsors, dawg.

Okay, but I will. Watch.

- Reggie...

- What?

- Please.

- Yo, Reggie,

I'll trade you this PB&J and these chips

for one of your healthy-ass sandwiches.

Hey, why you trying to play me?

You know I'm allergic to that nasty sh*t.

You can't cancel on me now.

Okay, look, if I'm going to be on TV,

and interviewing people,

I gotta be like them cats on ESPN.

I know you seen it.

They got the nice suit.

The A.C. studio,

our own little coffee mug.

That's top notch. I want that.

And plus, I got practice on Sunday,

so I'm sorry.

So am I.

Hey. You know we ain't

got no practice, right?

Dawg, I know that,

but you like her,

so I was trying to stay cool with her

till I drop Michelle, all right?

Dr. Sutton?

Oh. I thought you were your dad.

That's kinda scary.

Um, I think he said he'll be back soon.

Just give him a couple minutes more.

You can wait here.

It's cool with me.

Hendrix Sutton,

get your ass down here, boy.

- Shut up, Reggie.

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