We the Party Page #9

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- What?

Why?

You know why.

For a car?

Where's the money?

What an a**hole.

Hey! Where is the money?

It's in my box. At home.

Well, go get it.

Go!

How we doing here?

Not too good.

But I think we got it under control.

Oh, do you, now?

Yes, I do.

Thank you for your time, officers.

Class dismissed.

Come on, get to your next class.

Come on, let's go.

You know, I bought a speed boat

with the money I made in overtime

chasing little black boys like this.

Little punks who think

they've got everybody fooled.

Sad but true.

I'll see you when you're 18.

Not if I can help it.

Well, apparently, you can't.

She would, like,

top me off, top me off.

- Man, she topped me off, too.

- She topped me off first.

Hey, good job hosting that show.

Really stole it.

- Hey, man, crime don't pay.

- Crime don't pay, man.

Anyway, we gotta go practice.

Y'all let me play,

I can be at practice too, man.

- Shut up.

- All right.

Hey, bro.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

Stupid motherf***er!

You crazy?

You have two strikes already!

You have a son!

- What you talking about?

- You're 20 years old!

They'll try you as an adult!

Over $1,200, you want to

end up like your brother?

Why the f*** you hit me,

you little b*tch-ass nigga?

- I was trying to help!

- You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Look, Hendrix is going crazy.

We got to stop him.

Walker, head east on campus.

Something's going down.

You want to end up

like your brother?

F*** my brother.

Look at my name, Conscious Criminal,

I don't give a motherfuck.

Boys' locker room,

boys' locker room!

- You want to end up like your brother?

- F*** my brother.

- Que, do your mama jokes, man.

- What?

Que, do your mama jokes, dude.

Your mama so fat,

b*tch got her own zip code.

Laugh.

You want to get expelled?

Help me make them laugh.

Laugh, laugh, laugh.

Ha, ha, ha.

Laugh, motherfuckers.

Dr. Sutton!

I'm sorry.

They get into everything.

It was him. It's his fault.

No, it was you. It was you.

- It was your fault.

- No, it was you.

Your mama's so damn ugly,

she looked out the window,

and got arrested for mooning.

Oh yeah? Uh...

What the hell's going on?

Uh, just telling jokes.

Yeah.

So did you actually

see them fighting?

No. When we got there,

these two were laughing,

and that one was cracking jokes.

Excuse me, Principal Reynolds,

this was after the bell started ringing,

so technically,

we were not cutting class.

I'm aware of the rules.

What happened to your face?

I slipped and hit the sink.

And you?

When he fell, I caught an elbow,

and it tore my shirt.

I will deal with you later.

Do you remember

what I told you would happen

if you came to my office again?

Yeah.

Excuse me.

We, uh...

We have a situation.

Miss Chavez.

While my daughter is away,

I watch my grandsons.

They get into everything.

I found the money under the bed.

I'm so sorry.

Please, forgive me.

I hope that one day,

when my grandson grows up,

he will be as brave as your boy.

What's this?

Did you give us your car money?

You people mind

excusing us for a minute?

Honey, why did you say you took it?

I'm 16, and C.C.'s 20.

This would have been

his third strike.

He could have lost his son

to foster care.

C.C. didn't grow up with what I have.

Can I go?

Yeah, go ahead.

Hey, bro, you got a minute?

I thought you did it, man.

I was trippin'.

Man, people been thinking that

about me my whole life.

Sometimes, they was right.

But, like, ain't nobody

ever did what you did.

You thought I was doin' dirt,

but you still tried to save me.

My own brother...

My own brother let me go down

for some bullshit he did.

If it wasn't for you,

I wouldn't be graduating,

I would have got expelled.

So what's the next move, man?

You know, Conscious Criminal ain't ready

to give up on the rap game yet.

I got to stay conscious.

Ain't no selling out.

One more thing.

Don't ever throw that jab my way again.

All right.

Hey, Obama.

Boy, Hendrix, dumber than you, dawg.

Why would anyone sacrifice $1,200

for another drive-by

shooter wannabe rapper?

You know he going to end up

in jail any f***ing way.

I promise you that.

Oh, sh*t!

Is that?

Dude, dude, bro,

what the f*** is wrong with you?

This is peanut butter, man.

I think I read somewhere

that Reggie's allergic to peanuts.

Like, super allergic?

No, but enough.

I'm sorry.

I never should have made

that stupid bet.

I never had the intentions,

it was just

a bunch of boys playing around,

like, wishful thinking.

I'm sorry I doubted you.

You really thought I took it.

Kind of. For a second.

It was like, holy sh*t,

did he steal the money

to get a car

to take me to the prom?

You felt guilty?

In a weird way.

Kinda flattered

in a twisted way, too.

So thinking that I'm crazy

enough to steal a car

to take you to the prom

is a turn-on.

No, it's not.

You'd be too psycho,

and I'd have felt guilty.

I really would have felt guilty

if my dad had given your dad

the beatdown.

Yeah, see, that wouldn't

have happened,

because my dad is an ex-Marine.

My dad can protect and serve, okay?

L.A.P.D. whup-ass, all day long.

Too bad that's with a badge and a gun.

Even without.

Well, my dad's not scared of your dad,

and neither am I.

Good.

What?

Good, 'cause I was kinda thinking,

you know, maybe tonight

you can come swoop me up

in your dad's little Prius,

and take me to the prom.

Really?

Please?

Is it gonna be cool with your dad?

Oh, come on.

Forget Reggie.

Pretty is temporary.

Dumb is forever.

The flashy rappers and jocks,

they win today.

But they lose tomorrow.

And nerds like my brother,

yeah, they lose today,

but tomorrow they become Bill Gates

or president of the United States.

So the real question is, Michelle,

who do you want on

your Facebook status forever

when colleges check you out,

or when you run for office?

And how ironic is this?

Your name's Michelle,

and everyone calls my brother Obama.

Successful.

So, the story is we met last summer

up at Big Bear Lake, jet-skiing.

You were there

on a modeling assignment.

I jotted down a few personal factoids,

so when the fellas ask,

and trust me, they're gonna ask,

you tell them that pound for pound,

I'm hella good in the sack.

Fat fly Freddie Flintstone

makes your bed rock.

And if you do a good job,

I might just throw in a little tip for you,

if you know what I'm saying.

Go. Come on.

Is this a bank job or something?

Come on, just go. Come on.

Anything can happen

When you try to track

the beat tonight

Walk on wind, walk on water

It's all right

Now that we're here

Dancing in the light

Now that we're here

On the other side

The doors are open wide tonight

Take my hand

Hey, guys.

You guys remember Sharon?

Oh, yeah.

Isn't that the...

Yeah, figured if I was going

to bring someone to prom,

might as well bring someone

that likes to dance.

Well, hey, girl.

Hey, yo

What up, my niggas?

What's up, bro?

So, Chowder, you gonna

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