We Were Here Page #3

Turn into the mark

of kaposi's sarcoma.

It's a rare cancer normally

found in the elderly...

But now

it's striking young men...

Most of whom are gay,

like bobbi campbell.

After one month,

tests are still being done.

On the red bumps

on his foot.

- I don't know

how I got it.

I fit the profile of kind of

a typical kaposi's patient.

In my age,

and that I'm gay, and...

...but I don't know

how I got it.

- The first time

i heard about aids...

I think it was called

the gay cancer.

It was ks.

It was terrifying.

And we had friends

who were dying.

Right at the beginning

of the epidemic.

I mean, this one person

who helped my career greatly...

Who was a curator

of the brooklyn museum...

Gave me a show

at the brooklyn museum...

And he died before

the show happened...

And that was...

We... Now looking back...

I know he died of aids...

But back then

there was no name for it.

- I was hanging blood

one day in the hospital...

And this was, you know...

Before the times

that you wore gloves.

And the infectious

disease fellow

Came in and said, "eileen,

why don't you put gloves on?

We don't know what this is. "

- I was selling flowers

at that time...

And there was a guy

down the street.

Five days.

One day he went

to the hospital...

Five days later,

he was dead.

- I'm looking through

the gay periodicals...

And in one of them,

new cancer described.

And so I'm aware

something has occurred.

And I noted...

I think everybody who was paying

attention to the community.

Noted, "well, this could be

something to pay attention to,"

And so we... I did.

- People were coming in

with pneumocystis pneumonia...

Who were quite well,

you know, one day.

You know, uh, out there

swimming, playing tennis.

You know, buffed.

Coming in and...

Were dying.

I mean,

were dead ten days later.

People would come in

with kaposi's sarcoma.

There might be one little legion

or two little legions...

And they would grow.

And maybe a legion would cut off

circulation in their leg...

And their leg

would balloon up...

Or maybe it would

get into their lung...

And they couldn't breathe.

And maybe they would

just waste away.

- Very early, certainly within

the first 18 months...

I assumed that a number of my

friends were likely infected...

And probably myself and...

And all the people

in my group were infected.

- From the beginning...

I just couldn't stand

the homophobia.

And the prejudice

that was going on...

And the fear.

There was incredible fear,

right?

These people

were coming in and dying...

And nobody knew what it was...

And people get afraid.

There were people who were

afraid to go into rooms...

And so I found myself

going into the rooms.

If you're not a family member,

they wouldn't talk to you...

So if somebody's partner

was in there...

The doctors might not explain

to them what was going on.

So I found myself

talking to them.

It was a weird time

in the hospital...

Because they didn't want

to be associated.

As an "aids hospital,"

Because no one would want

to come to the hospital.

If they knew we were

an "aids hospital. "

So there was a lot

of struggle there.

I remember my mom.

She was saying,

"why do you have to do this?"

You know,

'cause I've already put my mom.

Through lots of stuff.

And I remember saying to her...

"Mom, it didn't choose...

I didn't choose it.

It chose me. "

'Cause you're there...

And this terrible thing

is happening...

And you're a nurse,

and you can help...

And sometimes that's just

helping somebody die...

But i, you know,

i couldn't turn my back to it.

- Something was happening.

That these gay men

were showing up.

At places like united way...

Looking for a support group...

Or, um...

...uh... Social services.

Because they had no...

...they had no family.

I saw an ad

in thebay area reporter.

Shanti project

was looking for people.

Who'd be willing to be a buddy

to someone with this illness.

And I took the second

shanti volunteer training.

That occurred here

in san francisco...

And I got matched

with someone immediately.

I hadn't met a person

with aids yet.

Who was just kind of, like,

off on his own, and...

...like, expecting...

...that someone was gonna come,

and, like, help him.

And, um...

...i just remember

going to his apartment, and...

...just him opening the door,

and...

...he said his name was ed.

I said

my name was ed too.

And, you know, like,

lo and behold...

My way

of being with gay men.

Suddenly...

was perfect.

Like, "hi. "

Like, "who are you?

How are you doing?"

I took my training

in july of '83...

And of course I was close

to all these gay men.

There were seven gay men

working in this office...

And I was coming in

and telling them, like...

"Oh, my god... "

And, you know, they think

it's transmitted sexually...

And they're thinking condoms

is a way to protect us...

And they're telling us

don't use poppers.

And I go, "it's already, like,

disseminating information. "

Back then, especially...

There was this

whole dynamic about.

How are you getting it?

Who are you getting it from?

Who's giving it to who?

Um, in that little office...

Some of that feeling, like...

I'm pretty sure they had

all had sex with one another.

But, once again,

in my kind of mismatched way...

I hadn't had sex

with any of them.

Um...

...they all...

...they all got infected.

And they all died

except one.

- My partner, steve,

was an immunology researcher.

We'd been together

for quite a while...

Probably about eight years.

And, all of a sudden...

People were coming to him.

And asking him

to explain what's going on...

And it was interesting.

I mean, his self esteem

sort of turned around...

Because he was a holder

of very important information.

He ended up working

in jay levy's lab...

Which was one

of the most important.

Aids research labs

in the world.

We got tested because

steve took my blood.

And brought it

into jay levy's lab...

So we were, like,

some of the first people.

Who knew that we were

actually positive...

'Cause the test

wasn't even available.

When steve came back

from jay levy's lab.

And told me that we were

both hiv positive...

It... My life

changed completely.

Um, i... I had had five people

working for me...

Um, and I let them go...

And, luckily,

i had saved some money...

And I just

started doing sculpture.

- Here am i,

the kid from san jose...

I'm up here,

I'm now the vice president.

Of some little

gay democratic club.

Where maybe 15 or 20

people show up...

And suddenly the community

starts to die.

Of these extraordinary,

horrible diseases...

And they want help.

"How do we... " You know,

"how do we keep 'em alive?

"How do we make sure

they don't die of starvation.

Because they can't cook?

How do we... "

Meanwhile, there's all these

attacks that are occurring.

Meanwhile, there's

this tremendous debate.

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