Weather Girl Page #2

all over again.

Oh, my God.

I have to start all over again.

Oh, God,

I'm such an idiot.

Why didn't I stick around?

I could have hung around

and gotten a job

Or looked for an apartment

or something.

- Yeah, that's a great idea.

Just hang out and pretend

that you don't know

Dale's doing his cohost,

a much better option.

- I'm just trying

to be rational.

- God, you're so full of sh*t.

Let me just share with you

one of your qualities.

All right?

You couldn't be rational

At the cost of your pride

for anything.

You did just

what you should have done

And also conveniently

what you had to do

Because of your love

of conflict.

- I don't love conflict.

- It's your crack.

Now, shut up.

You're going to stay here.

You're going to get a job,

And everything's

going to be okay, okay?

- You think so?

- Yeah, why not?

- Okay.

- Well, I think we should

cut his balls off.

- Can you say that

any louder?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Am I embarrassing you?

I was trying to be supportive

of my friend.

- Are you saying I'm not?

- I'm saying that maybe

Making passive-aggressive

comments

And trying to undermine me

like you always do

Is not the best way

to help Sylvia.

- I undermine you?

When have I ever undermine--

- I don't know why I'm here.

I don't feel

like being out tonight.

Why did I go out tonight?

I should be at home.

I should be at home,

sitting on the couch,

Eating ice cream, and watching

old movies or something.

- What you need is a cocktail

and your girlfriends.

- Yes.

- Hey, weather girl.

- Hi.

- Dale is such an a**hole.

You go, girl.

- Who says, "You go, girl"?

- Okay, yeah, no,

I need another drink.

- Honey, let me tell you

something.

I am so proud

of what you did today.

- Yeah, me too.

- You did exactly

what I would have done.

- Me too.

- Gave it to him

in front of everyone.

- And the b*tch.

- The mousy b*tch.

- There is no way that frail

little b*tch is good in bed.

No way.

- Well, thanks, you guys.

You know, I didn't plan it.

It just sort of--

Blah, happened.

- So what are you

going to do now, love?

- Uh, send out my resume,

I guess.

- Oh, a weather girl resume?

What?

She's a weather girl.

- I'm a broadcast journalist,

Jane.

- Jesus, Jane,

she's a broadcast journalist.

What is wrong with you?

- I made a mistake.

- Look, there are four other

local news stations

With morning, afternoon,

And nighttime news programs,

right?

So there's got to be something

out there, I think.

- Mm.

- Mm-Hmm.

- Oh, incoming.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Excuse me for interrupting.

My friends and I over there,

we had a bet.

Are you that chick

That totally lost her sh*t

on that news guy?

[Bottle fizzes]

- [Gasps]

Jesus christ.

- No, Byron, actually.

- Who are you?

- I'm Byron.

- And why are you here?

- I'm a friend of Walt's.

- What?

Wha-Wha-What is that?

- Oh, that's you, actually.

- What am I...

what am I doing

on the computer?

- Uh, you're freaking out.

Here, it's actually

my favorite part.

- But despite

the amateurish sex,

I somehow developed

an attachment

To the walking haircut

sitting in that chair.

- [Chuckles]

I'm sorry.

I love it when you call him

a haircut.

I don't know why.

- Why--Why am I on there?

- You're everywhere.

You're on a bunch

of film sites.

I mean, just alone today

I've gotten ten emails

from people,

And only one of them

was from Walt.

- Wait, Walt sent this to you?

- Yeah, Walt and others.

[Door clicks open]

Hey, Walt.

- Hey.

- Hey, Walt.

- Hey.

What?

I didn't do anything.

Hey!

Ow!

What--

- Get in there.

- What are you--Why are you

tugging on me?

- I am on the internet.

- Well, yeah.

It was a pretty funny breakdown.

People like seeing others

lose it.

- I did not lose it.

- Okay.

- And who is this person?

- Byron.

- Byron, okay, well,

I don't think that Byron

should be here right now.

I'm kind of in a delicate state.

[Knocking at door]

Oh, my God.

- Yo.

Hey, uh,

you brought the beer in here?

- Oh, sh*t, sorry.

Look, I don't get it.

You just went out

with all your friends.

Now you're all too distraught

for visitors?

- Excuse me.

Hi, we are kind of

in the middle of something here.

A little private, so...

- did you really

sleep with that Dale guy?

I mean,

why would you do that?

- I know, right?

- You're way too hot for him.

- Who is this person?

- Byron.

What...?

- Byron.

It's just an opinion.

Um, do you guys want

this door closed?

Okay.

- Thank you.

- Yeah--

- Really?

- Okay, look,

I know you've had a rough day.

I'm sorry,

but stop being a b*tch, okay?

This is my place,

and that's my friend,

And we're going to hang out

and play some music.

You want to hang out?

Rad.

You don't, there's a coffee shop

down the street.

My house, my rules, missy.

- I cannot believe

how callous you're being.

- [Sighs]

Yes, you can.

Oh.

There it is.

[Guitar twanging]

Good.

- Oh, listen to that one.

Ooh.

Both:
[Wailing]

- High "c."

High "c!"

High "c."

Middle "c"

- Middle "c."

- High "c."

[Laughter]

- Walt, shut up!

My God.

[Boys singing]

- Whoa.

[Zipper whirs]

- Whoa!

God.

- God, it's late!

- Jesus!

- Turn that light off.

- You scared the sh*t out of me.

What are you doing?

- I'm trying to sleep.

- No, I'm sleeping in here.

You're sleeping on the couch.

- Are you out of your mind?

This is my bed.

- Well, I'm not sleeping

in here with you.

- Why not?

- Because it's gross.

Because you're my brother.

And I don't want you

rolling over here

In the middle of the night

and touching me.

It's disturbing.

- Oh, well, I'm sorry

you find me so repulsive.

There's a sleeping bag

in the closet.

- Listen to me.

I've had a really,

really shitty day, okay?

And I haven't been sleeping

at all

Because you and creepy

have been playing

In your little band--

- Jamming!

- Oh, my God, okay.

Jamming.

- Whoa, no,

don't--Don't--Don't--

Don't condescend to me, Syl.

Don't call it "A little band."

- Why are you being

such a dick?

I just want to get some sleep.

- Oh, my God, I'm not sleeping

on the couch

'Cause you don't want to share

the bed with me.

- Fine, I'm gonna

sleep on the couch.

- Fine by me.

- Fine.

- Oh, what?

No, no.

Not cool.

No.

Ah, you a**hole.

- I'll take that.

- Ow!

[Car horns honking]

- Oh, God.

Oh!

God!

[Groans]

- Wow.

- Ooh?

- You couldn't do that again

in a million years.

- Ow, ow, ow.

- Ouch, ow.

Yeah, that smarts when

you hit your knee like that.

- Don't you have a home?

- Yeah, I live across the hall.

- Don't you sleep?

- Not much.

- Okay, why are you here?

- I build websites.

My computer is busted.

So I told Walt that

if he let me use his,

I'll give him a cut

of the profits.

It's kind of

a win-win situation.

Brought you a coffee.

- Well, do you have to be here

all the time?

- Yeah, I have a strong

work ethic.

It's a vanilla latte.

You strike me like

a vanilla latte type.

- Aren't you insightful.

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