Weather Girl Page #8

- Whatever, man.

You gonna tell her?

- Tell her what?

- Look, you better tell her,

'Cause she's rolled up

the window.

- The window?

What are you even

talking about?

- The window is up.

And you're on that side of it.

Look, I know her, man.

You can't break through

the window.

That sh*t's bulletproof.

She has to roll it down.

The only way

she's going to do that

Is if you tell her

you dig her.

- Bulletproof, huh?

- Of course, the problem is,

if you tell her you dig her

And she doesn't want to roll

down the window,

She'll cut off the sex.

Having a casual relationship

With someone who has emotions

is messy, man.

- Stop, all right?

I don't like her.

I don't want her to roll down

her window.

I don't even want to get into

her metaphorical car, okay?

Leave it alone.

- Yeah, that's it, good.

That's good.

Throw a little fit there.

Good for you.

You know that's exactly what

she wants to avoid

By rolling up the window

in the first place.

Way to fall into her trap.

- You--

[Door clicks open]

- What?

What's the matter?

- First off, Sylvia,

I just want to thank you

for coming in this morning.

I know it must be a bit awkward.

- Well, yeah, but, uh,

couldn't stay away, you know?

Curiosity and all that.

- Right, right, right, right.

So let's get down

to brass tacks.

We have rerun your last show

four times

In the six weeks

you've been gone.

And the ratings have

gotten better every time.

It is all over the internet

And so is that video of you,

by the way,

Saving the man from choking.

Everybody seems to know

the sassy weather girl.

- God, you've got to be

kidding me.

- No, no, no, we get letters,

phone calls applauding you,

And--Hey, Josh!

Shut that off.

Our viewers love you

more than ever before.

They say you've got verve.

Let me hear you say it.

- Verve.

- Say it louder.

- Ver--Okay.

- That's what you got, babe.

And that's what

they want to see.

Well, and we're

going into sweeps.

- So what?

You want me to come back

to my old job?

- No, no,

not your old job.

No, your old job,

you popped in every 15 minutes.

No, mmm, we want you

to coanchor.

- Coanchor?

- You and Dale.

- Oh, no, no.

I can't--

- Yes, yes, come.

Yes, yes, no, see?

That's--That's the hook, babe.

That's what everybody

wants to see:

You two going back and forth

going at it.

And you can say

anything you want.

In fact, we want you to.

- What about the mousy b*tch?

- Who?

- Mousy b*tch.

- Mm, mm.

That mousy b*tch.

Well,

since she and Dale broke up,

She's become increasingly

difficult.

If you ask me,

between you and me,

I think the heifer's drinking.

- Really?

- Mm.

Really.

- Huh.

- Are you coming back?

- Does that idea scare you?

- No, actually,

I suggested it.

- Really?

- Yeah, yeah, I miss you.

I know it sounds corny,

but I do.

- Well, I haven't given fitz

my answer yet,

But somehow it doesn't seem

like the best idea ever.

- Well, maybe we could

get together.

We could talk.

Maybe we could have dinner.

Maybe I could calm some fears.

- Are you asking me

on a date?

- If you want it to be.

If not,

a dinner between colleagues,

A business dinner.

- Dale?

Daley?

Oh, oh, lookee here.

Two lovebirds

reu-F***ing-Nited.

- Sherry,

go back in your dressing room.

- Oh, sorry,

first you dump me,

And now you think

you can tell me what to do?

Well, I got news for you,

a**hole.

You're not the boss of me.

I'm going to what I want to do

and when I want it.

Hi, Sylvia.

- Hey, Sherry.

- I guess you think

this is karma, huh?

- No, I didn't--

I didn't think that.

- The mousy b*tch gets hers

in the end, am I right?

"Oh, no."

Makes perfect sense to me.

Hey, Dale, you want to see

my impression of Sylvia?

"Hi, I'm Sylvia.

"I have a psychotic episode

on live television.

"I used some terrible,

foul language,

"And I described a sex act

on a morning tv show.

"I'm very, very mean

to stupid Sherry,

"And I call her

really hurtful names

"That just might remind her

of some stuff from childhood,

"And then when sweeps

comes around,

I take her job."

Oh, and this is my favorite one.

"The man I emasculated in front

of millions of Seattleites

Starts wanting me back."

How the f*** does that happen?

I mean, that doesn't

make any sense.

Unless I'm being punished

by a God.

Oh, you guys think

God's mad at me?

- No, I doubt it.

- Oh, shut up!

Bullshit!

You don't know!

So you guys are getting

back together, huh?

That's...

[Screams]

[Head thunks]

My face hurts.

- We'll take care of you, ma'am.

- I love you.

Can you grab

my water bottle?

- No, ma'am.

- But it's right there.

- No.

- W-W-Why?

But it's important for me

to stay hydrated.

- Well, I would just like

to congratulate you

On another dramatic ending

To another romantic

relationship.

- Who's your manager?

- Well, at least this time

She didn't want to kill me.

She wanted to kill you.

- Details.

- I need it!

- You never responded

to my dinner invitation.

- You're doing what?

- Stop saying that.

- I'm sorry.

I'm just having a hard time

with the logic here.

- They are offering me a raise,

and I get to coanchor.

You know what that means, Walt?

It means I get to deliver

the news.

Real news, not just the weather.

I mean, you know,

I still have to do the weather,

But I get

to do other stuff too now.

- All of that for the

rock-Bottom price of your soul.

- Would you stop being

so dramatic?

- Will you stop being

such a sellout?

- Walt.

- Sylvia, they fired you

with prejudice.

- They did not fire me.

I quit.

- Oh.

- Look, this is a real job,

One where I never have to touch

Dirty dishes or leftover food

again.

And if I take it,

there's a signing bonus,

Which means I get to find

my own place immediately

And pay you back

all the money I owe you.

- I don't want your dirty money.

I want you to have some

goddamn self-respect.

- God, you are so

self-important.

- Think about what you're doing.

- I want a life, Walt, okay?

I am a 35-Year-Old woman,

And I'm living

like a college freshman.

I have no money.

I am waiting tables.

I have a roommate.

And I am sleeping with

the guy across the hall.

Don't you talk to me

about self-respect, Walt.

I'm doing this

because I deserve better.

- Oh, is that why

you're going on a date

With the guy who cheated on you

and broke your heart?

- It is not a date.

It is a business dinner

with a colleague.

- Shut up!

- And I think "Broke your heart"

Is overdoing it a bit,

don't you think?

- You know what?

I'm just going to say this,

and then I'm walking.

- Oh, I highly doubt that.

- Oh, I'm walking

Just as soon as I say

this one thing.

You ready?

- What?

- You ready?

- What?

- Mom would be really

disappointed in you.

That's right.

I invoked mom.

- Mom would be really

disappointed in me?

Is that what you said?

- Yeah, that's what I said.

- Oh.

Well, that's interesting, Walt,

Considering

that mom worked

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