Wee Willie Winkie Page #2

this is our home.

Hey! Pump that water!

Turn out the guards! Who's it-

- Hey, Sergeant!

- Come out here!

- Let me go! Sergeant!

- You'll get your bath!

- I won't do it again!

- Give him a bath, Sergeant!

- Come on, Mott.

- Hey, Sergeant!

- Hello. What are you doing, bathing?

- Yes, sir!

Clean little chappie.

Eyes right!

Party, attention!

Present arms!

It's awfully hot for so early

in the morning, isn't it?

Have you been

standing here all night?

Can't you even

shake your head yes or no?

Priscilla,

you mustn't annoy the sentry.

I wasn't annoying him, Mommy.

The poor mars deaf and dumb.

Oh, no, dear. It's just that

he's not allowed to talk on duty.

- Come here, darling.

- Oh.

Here. You must wear this

whenever you go outdoors.

Oh, but I like it.

It's gonna make me feel like a soldier.

And remember all the things

you've been told.

I know them all by heart.

Don't eat any fresh fruit.

Don't drink any water unless it's boiled.

Don't ever go outside the army gates.

Keep out of the sun, and- and-

And don't talk to sentries.

- Good morning, Colonel.

- Good morning.

Keep that on your head

whenever you go out in the sun.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Sunstroke. Bad.

You're looking a bit

off- off color, peaky.

Oh, I-I feel all right.

Oh, want more meat on your bones.

- Ought to eat more.

- Oh, we expect to.

Oh. Do you know how to ride?

Oh, yes. Oh, but I haven't ridden

for ever so long.

Oh, here. Mohammet Dihn!

- Mohammet Dihn!

- Mohammet Dihn!

Mohammet Dihn!

- Mohammet Dihn!

- What are you shouting for like this?

- Where is that infernal parlor maid?

- Mohammet Dihn!

Dihn!

- Oh, there you are. What the-

- Yes, sir, Colonel, sahib.

Uh, get Mrs. Williams a good horse.

- She's going riding. You go with her.

- Thank you, Colonel.

Oh, uh, good morning.

- Your helmet, sir.

- What?

Oh. Ah. Thank you.

Colonel, sunstroke.

Ah, yes.

Yes, yes.

I think he's gonna like you, Mommy...

even if he doesn't like me.

- Orders, sir, from the adjutant.

- Put them inside, on my desk.

Oh, sir. I do want to thank you

for ordering me a new uniform.

[Colonel] Glad to do it, Mott.

Got a good record.

Always neat. Military appearance.

- Make a good soldier one day, won't you?

- Oh, thank you, sir!

Hello.

- Hello, Mr. Mott.

- Hello.

- Who are you?

- I'm Priscilla.

- Wait a minute, will you?

- Can't.

Orders, sir.

Thank you, Mott.

Orders, sir.

All right, Patrolman Mott.

Can't you answer just one question...

if it is about military matters?

- Well, what is it?

- How can I get to be a soldier?

- You?

- Really! It's important.

Who ever heard of a little girl

being a soldier?

Run along home

and play with your dolls...

and don't follow me anymore.

- Why, hello there.

- Oh, hello, Coppy.

How's your mother?

- She's a bit peaky.

- A bit peaky?

Yes. She's going riding

to put some meat on her bones.

I'm going riding too.

I might meet her.

Coppy, I'm kind of worried.

You are? About what?

I've gotta be a soldier,

and I don't know how to start.

Whoever put that idea

into your head?

The colonel.

You see, the colonel's never

had any little girls around.

All he understands is soldiers.

So I've decided to be one.

Then maybe he'll like me.

How do I start, Coppy?

Well, let's see.

MacDuff.

- Yes, sir.

- Good morning, Sergeant!

Good morning, lassie.

Good morning.

We've a brand-new rookie, Sergeant.

Please instruct Priscilla in the manual

of arms, the queers regulations...

and all matters appertaining thereto.

- But, sir, you- I mean-

- Why, yes, certainly. Carry on.

Company...

left turn!

Quick!

About turn!

Quick!

March!

Mother!

Elsie, did you ever?

He's with that American.

She didn't lose much time

getting her hands on him.

He didn't lose much time either.

I suppose she knows

he's coming in to the title.

- Better get a move on.

- But, Mother!

He hasn't looked at me twice

in all the time we've been here.

Well, your father

didn't look at me at first...

but here you are, Elsie.

You made a very good beginning.

Yes, but whoever heard

of a soldier called Priscilla?

Aye, that's the point.

You couldn't take Private Priscilla

very seriously, could you?

We'll have to find

a new name for you.

I got it!

I've got it.

Wee Willie Winkie.

Wee Willie Winkie?

Was he a friend of yours?

Ah, he was a lad that ran

through an old Scotch rhyme.

"Wee Willie Winkie

ran through the town. "

Wee Willie Winkie ran through the town-

He ran through the-

Well, he was a lad that was always

getting himself into difficulties.

Hmm. Sunstroke. Bad.

Was he a sergeant?

He probably would've been

when he grew up.

Party, one, two, three!

Wee Willie Winkie.

- It does sound like a soldier, doesn't it?

- Aye.

Then I'd be Private Winkie!

Private Winkie it is!

A full-fledged soldier of the queen.

Wort it be a grand surprise

for the colonel?

[Laughing]

It will indeed!

And beyond that sign lies all Asia-

Baghdad, Samarqand,

the forbidden city of Lhasa...

even the Great Wall of China.

This is the gateway to it all.

For thousands of years,

the great caravans passing through...

have been robbed

by the wild Afridis and Pathans.

Up there in those hills

is the stronghold of Khoda Khan.

Khoda Khan, the chief

they arrested in Raj Pore.

Yes.

You see that pass?

With a hundred rifles, they could

hold off our entire brigade.

I read about it in school...

but you make it sound

so thrilling and romantic.

Look, Corporal! I've got it at last.

- Got what?

- My new uniform.

- The kilt is all wool.

- Ha! Wool!

Wool from the cotton mills

of Manchester.

Good lad.

Uh, Mr. Mott.

- Wort you spend the time of day with a man?

- Why-Why, yes, sir.

- And what you got there, laddie?

- My new uniform, sir.

Aye. But you're not daft enough

to wear it like that, are you?

- Why, what's wrong with it, sir?

- What's wrong!

Why, it's got to be sterilized, lad.

- Sterilized?

- Aye, sure.

How many times have I told you that in

India, everything has to be sterilized?

The food you eat, the water you drink.

But- But not uniforms, sir.

Aye, laddie. It's a new order.

You don't want to get

the black majoobies, do you?

- The black majoobies?

- Ah, it's a terrible disease.

Aye.

Here. I'll sterilize it meself.

Oh, thank you, sir!

Aye. Aye.

McTavish.

McLeish.

McAdoo. McNab.

Oh. Well, thank you, gentlemen.

Thank you so much.

It's about done.

- Aye.

- Oh, it's properly sterilized now.

- Aye.

- Why, it's shrunk!

- Aye, it shrunk.

- Aye. It shrunk.

- All but the buttons.

- All but the buttons.

Gentlemen, you did this deliberately!

- What?

- I did-

- Did you hear what he accused me of?

- Aye, I did that.

- Of deliberately doing it.

- Tsk, tsk, tsk.

He's a bad lad.

Aye. He's a bad lad.

Of deliberately doing it.

How does it look to you, Sergeant?

Very satisfactory.

Stand at attention,

and I'll inspect you.

Keep your eyes to the front.

Take the smile off your face.

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