Weird Science

This is so beautiful.

You know it, Gary.

Look at her.

Do you know

what I'd like to do?

Shower with them.

Then we hit

the city, baby,

dead on,

for a little drinks,

a little nightlife,

dancing...

Dancing.

We throw a huge party,

I mean huge party...

Everybody's invited,

women everywhere.

All these girls,

they're all there.

Naked bodies everywhere.

Gary.

They'll know my name.

What?

Nobody likes us.

Nobody.

Why are you messing

with the fantasy?

We know about

the reality.

Don't ruin

the fantasy, okay?

And then,

we're a hit, man.

We're popular.

We're revered.

Man, we're studs.

When the smoke clears,

right...

those two dames

fall amazingly,

completely,

and totally in love

with us, Wyatt.

Check it out.

Yo!

Check us out!

Look, we're

sorry about...

She's alive

She's alive

Weird science

Weird

Ooh

Weird science

Plastic tubes

and pots and pans

Bits and pieces

And magic from our hands

We're makin'

weird science

Ooh, things

I've never seen before

Behind bolted doors

And imagine,

it's my creation

Is it real?

It's my creation

I do not know

No hesitations

Your heart of gold

Is flesh and blood

I do not know

Why do I know?

From my heart

and from my hand

Why don't people

understand

My intentions

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

weird science

Ooh

Ooh, ooh

Weird science

Things I've never

seen before

Behind bolted doors

Weird science

Bits and pieces

and bits and pieces

And bits and pieces

Science

Weird

Where did your

parents go, anyway?

Cincinnati.

They're meeting the guy

my sister wants to marry.

Chloe? Who the hell

would marry Chloe?

He's studying

to be a vet.

Don't make a mess.

The maid doesn't come

till Monday.

How come your parents

suddenly trust you?

Chet's coming home from

college for the weekend.

He's in charge.

Chet? Sh*t!

You should have

told me this

before I agreed

to sleep over.

How do you

put up with him?

If I don't, he beats the sh*t out of me.

It's a habit he picked

up in military school.

He's very

protective of me.

Nice relationship.

Look.!

There's nothing

to fear.

Look.

No blood, no decay.

Go on.

Fix the electrodes.

You'll have plenty

to be afraid of

before

the night's over.

The storm

will be magnificent...

All the electrical

secrets of heaven.

This time we're ready,

Fritz.

Let's have

one final test.

Throw the switches.

Here in this machine,

I have discovered

the great ray

that first brought life

into the world.

Here's

the final touch...

the brain

you stole, Fritz...

The brain of a dead man

waiting to live again

in a body I made.

It's not a bad idea.

What?

In 15 minutes,

the storm...

Making a girl.

Actually making a girl...

just like Frankenstein,

except cuter.

Nobody must come here.!

Don't touch it.!

Sorry, Doctor.

You're serious.

Yes.

Look me in the eyes.

Do I look serious?

You're crazy.!

Crazy am I?

We'll see

whether I'm crazy or not.

Gary Wallace,

that's absolutely gross.

I'm not digging up

dead girls.

I'm not talking about

digging up a dead girl.

I'm talking about

your computer, idiot.

You can simulate stuff

on your computer.

Why can't we

simulate a girl?

I guess I could,

but why?

It's two-dimensional

on the screen.

It's not

flesh and blood.

But we can

ask it questions.

We'll put it in

real-life sexual situations

and see how it reacts.

Well, what about

your girl in Canada?

She lives in Canada.

She has no morals.

I don't like that

in a girl.

Anyway, get to work.

Very nice.

Hold it, Wyatt.

I know female stats.

Anything bigger

than a handful,

you're risking

a sprained tongue.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Okay. Now what?

Should we give her

a brain?

Yeah. We'll play chess

with her.

Chess? Just give her

a brain.

That's all we can do

with my stuff.

Did you get a free

toaster with this, too?

The problem is,

this is a lame idea.

Your computer

is a wimp.

We need

a lot more power.

What do you suggest?

We're in.

We're in trouble, Gary.

This is highly illegal.

We got to fill this thing with data.

We'll make her

as real as possible.

I want her

to live, breathe.

I want her

to aerobicize.

Live.!

All Dave, all night.!

We know what you need

only right here

on Dave TV!

It's moving,

it's working.

It's working

by itself.

I lo mee li I lo la la mala kroo

kara kara chal

do le mo le lo...

But, Gary...

by the way,

why are we wearing

bras on our heads?

Ceremonial.

You ready?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Turn it off!

It is off!

Hang up the phone!

Wyatt,

what's going on?

I don't know!

Unplug it!

Oh, sh*t!

Arf! Arf!

No!

It's a birthday present!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Let's get this thing

out of your house!

You get it out!

This is

all your fault!

I'll get it out!

Whoa!

What the hell is it?

Oh, sh*t!

One, two, three.

She's alive. Alive.!

Uhhhhh.

So what would you little

maniacs like to do first?

You guys created me.

I didn't come

from anywhere.

Before you messed around

with your computer,

I didn't even exist.

By the way,

you did an excellent job.

Thank you.

Hello?

Isn't showering real fun?

If we're going to have

fun together,

you guys

had better loosen up.

What're we gonna

do with her?

We'll just go

with the situation.

By Sunday, you'll

think of something.

You're

a very bright guy.

I'm just

being practical.

I know.

I appreciate it.

Let's go.

What about

this mess?

Clean it up

tomorrow.

Okay, but don't get

B.O. on Chet's suit,

or he'd kill me.

Where are we going?

We're going

downtown and...

Oh, my God!

Whose stuff is this?

Is that yours?

Gary, I don't know...

What is

going on here?

I don't know!

You look good, though, okay?

Did you steal

this car?

No.

How did you get it?

I can get

anything I want.

Right now,

I want to party.

Party?

Yeah. Think up

a name for me.

What name

do you want?

You think of one.

Lisa.

Why Lisa?

Why not?

He used to like

a girl named Lisa.

Oh, yeah?

Old girlfriend?

She kicked him

in the nuts.

Will you shut up?

It wasn't

your fault.

All you said was

hello to her.

Shut up!

Guys, I like Lisa.

That'll do just fine.

You guys

ready to rock?

Ready.

Ready.

Lisa?

Yeah?

I don't think

we belong here.

Don't be silly.

It's a public place.

We'd both

love to stay,

but we're not 21.

You're 21.

Maybe you'd feel better

if you mingled.

We don't mingle, okay?

Then we'll invite these people

to your house

and we could all

mingle there.

We'll mingle.

We'll mingle.

Hi, dudes.

Well, goddamn!

Listening to

this blues music

reminds me of my own

trials and tribulations

as a young guy.

My folks

really dump on me.

You guys get along

with your parents?

I guess you guys

moved out by now.

Uh, what's this, sir?

Drink it.

That's a very

sweet thought,

but I really don't...

Until now.

See you guys

in the emergency room.

Pretty lady,

what's a beautiful broad

like you...

doing with a malaca

like this?

It's purely sexual.

No sh*t.

She's into

malacas, Dino.

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