Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins
FEMALE ANNOUNCER.:
Lights, camera, access.
O'DELL.:
Yes, it's true.goes prime time.
Talk show host Dr. RJ Stevens
has popped the question
to Bianca Kittles,
recent winner
of Survivor:
Kiribati.What's good, family?
The Doctor's show,
with his irreverent guests...
I've been banging your sister.
(SCREAMING)
... party-like atmosphere and
his "Team of Me" philosophy...
The team of who?
ALL:
Me!Rely on yourself.
... has gotten a significant
ratings boost
since news of his impending
nuptials became public.
This is, no doubt, welcome
news to the ultra-competitive,
glammed-out Bianca.
used every asset she possessed
to outwit, outplay
and outlast the competition
on her quest
for the million bucks.
It's a Q-rating bonanza,
as these two
couldn't be more
perfectly matched.
Life is good
for the good doctor.
Wow.
ANNOUNCER.:
(WHISPERING)On access.
That was fabulous!
Honey, I'm so
proud of you.
Thank you.
You're such a star.
Isn't he a star?
(ALL CHEERING)
He is a superstar.
Now, that is how
you announce your engagement!
That was genius.
You're the talk
of the town!
WOMAN:
Hey, RJ.Could you imagine this
five years ago, bro?
With a girl like that?
Hell, no.
Hit show,
big mansion on the block.
Now I'm international.
You look great,
by the way.
Sh*t, man,
that's all this tofu
Bianca got me eating.
Besides the hunger pains,
being a vegan is the sh*t.
(LAUGHING)
Cheers.
Honey! Telephone.
Get going.
BIANCA:
That soundswonderful. I can't wait.
Great.
Well, it's nice
speaking to you.
Okay, hold on.
It's your mom.
Hurry up. Talk.
We still have guests.
Hi!
WOMAN:
Hi there!You made it. Oh, my God.
You look amazing!
Hey, Mama.
Well, hello, stranger.
We're just beginning to think
No, Mama. I can't forget
my number one girl.
(CHUCKLES)
And I didn't forget
your anniversary, either.
I sent y'all
a 50" plasma TV.
One inch for every year.
That's sweet, baby.
But we'd much rather
meet Blanca.
She sounds so nice.
(LAUGHS) Bianca, Mama.
Not Blanca.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought it was Blanca.
Well, baby,
you know
it's our 50th anniversary.
Mama, I don't think
we're gonna be able
to make it.
Jamaal, you know,
he's got this
big soccer game.
The boy loves himself
some soccer, Mama.
I know.
He talks to Papa
all the time.
Jamaal and Daddy
have been talking?
And writing letters.
Lord... You know,
we haven't seen that child
since he was a baby.
You've just got to come.
Everybody's coming.
We got Ellie
and Cleavon,
Clyde and Lucinda and...
Lucinda?
Oh, yes.
Lucinda and Clyde?
Mmm-hmm.
They're coming together?
I forgot to tell you.
But I... I thought...
PAPA.:
That's a lot
of questions, boy.
Hey, Daddy.
Especially from someone
who has shown very little
interest in his family.
Yes, sir, but I...
If you can find
the time to explore
"The Mind Of A Stripper"
or "Sisters Gone Wild"
with your so-called "family,"
then you can find
the time to spend
with your actual family.
So you've been watching!
Boy, don't disappoint
your mother.
(SIGHS)
(REFEREE BLOWING WHISTLE)
RJ:
Go, Jamaal!There you go,
there you go!
Boy, that
kid's good.
Right. Move.
Push it!
Come on, get it,
get it, get it, get it!
Right there!
Let it go, Jamaal!
That's a winner, Jamaal!
(WHOOPING)
(LAUGHS)
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
MARTY:
Hey, RJ, I'll see youlater, man. Okay, take care.
You tell Jamaal I said bye.
Jamaal, way to go.
Way to go. That's
how you do that.
Good going, guys!
Yeah!
(WHOOPING)
That's my boy.
That's my boy.
That's a lot of
running for one goal.
But, hey, at least you hit it.
Dad, you should
come more often.
Hey, I'm here.
Dad, why don't you want to go
to Dry Springs?
(SIGHS) Come on.
Not you, too.
Papa Jenkins says
Dry Springs is awesome.
He said all my cousins'll
be there and I'd have
a lot of fun.
Oh, really?
What else do
y'all talk about?
I don't know.
School, my friends,
soccer, global warming.
Global warming?
We talk about a lot of stuff.
He's really cool.
Can't we please go?
Oh. Talk it over
with the boss, first.
Boss?
(SCOFFS)
Son, men run things
in a relationship.
And between us men,
never let a woman tell you
what to do, and how to do it.
Your dad's
in complete control.
(RJ SCREAMING)
BIANCA:
Who's in control?
Tell me.
Who's in control?
I don't know!
Take me higher,
you can do it!
(GASPING) Oh, no.
Come on. Take me. Harder!
Come on, lover!
(WHINING) Mama!
(IN A DEEP VOICE) Yes!
Oh, sh*t!
Push it!
What the hell are you...
Yes!
(GROANING)
(MUMBLING NONSENSICALLY)
BIANCA:
Oh.Speaking in tongues.
That's a first.
(BIANCA SIGHS)
I'm so proud of you.
(BIANCA EXHALES)
I want to look hot
for your family.
So now...
Time for my seven miles.
(TREADMILL WHIRRING)
Can you untie me first?
Babe?
Babe! Babe...
It's all done.
I booked the tickets.
Honey?
I'm hearing a tinge
of doubt in your voice.
I'm cool. You know, it's...
It'll be four days, then
we get back to our lives.
Exactly.
This will solidify
our union to the world.
We'll tape your parents'
banquet, you make a heartfelt
speech, and the ratings?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God!
(BIANCA SIGHS)
Yeah.
"Country boy done good
returns home with
his Survivor queen."
(LAUGHS) Hey, my...
My audience'll dig that.
See? That's
why I love you.
Baby, I've dated
all kinds of men.
Athletes, CEOs, princes,
bad boys, attorneys,
mob bosses...
(MUFFLED)
No, no, I get it.
I get that.
But I've never connected
with any of them
the way that I do with you.
RJ Stevens.
Mmm.
Team of Me.
(CHUCKLING)
win Survivor, and they brought
me right to you.
They did,
didn't they?
Uh-huh.
(CHUCKLING)
See? We connect.
Yes.
We're winners.
And you?
You're the man.
I am the man.
Say it louder.
I'm the man.
Say it louder.
I'm the man!
Yeah!
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
BIANCA:
Honey,don't ruin your outfit.
(SCOFFS)
Baby, men don't
wear outfits.
(GRUNTING)
What do you have
in these bags, anyway?
You went 39 days
With a toothpick and a thong.
I need options.
RJ:
Damn the options.I need room.
I'd be happy
to check that for you.
Hell, no!
I had some bad experiences.
I'll just slip it
in the captain's closet.
It's the safest place
it could be.
(EXCLAIMS)
Let's get
this party started.
Uh-uh-uh.
I got you beet juice.
Come on, baby,
I want to live a little.
Precisely.
It's an excellent
source of antioxidants.
Your drink, sir.
Drink up.
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Enjoy.
(PLANE ENGINE HUMMING)
Once we have reached
a comfortable...
Hey, Dad?
Yeah, son?
This is gonna be
great. Thanks.
Anything for you,
my man.
(EXCLAIMS)
(DOG WHIMPERING)
And now we ask you
to please relax, sit back
and enjoy the flight.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Georgia.
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"Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/welcome_home,_roscoe_jenkins_23207>.
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