What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?

( funeral music playing )

WOMAN:
Your husband

was a wonderful man.

MAN:
Death is very sad.

Sad?

Mr. Bentley,

I'm very pleased to see you.

Thank you very much.

Will you have tea,

or would you prefer a drink?

I really haven't time.

It won't take

any time at all

if you have your refreshments

while we conduct our business.

Tea will be fine.

- I'll pour, Albert.

- Yes, Miss Marrable.

I ordered tea brewed because

I was expecting Mr. Honigger.

Avid tea drinker.

But I suppose

the reading of the will

is usually left

to the junior partner.

Will you have cream,

Mr. Bentley, or brandy?

Brandy lends

an elegance to tea.

Neither, thank you,

and no sugar.

The actual reading is

a formality we can dispense with,

and I can give you

the salient points.

After all, youre the only person

mentioned in the will.

Well, I shouldn't be surprised to find

that Joseph had left me everything.

After all, there's no one else

he could've possibly included.

Will you have

a piece of hazelnut cake?

No, no, thank you.

Of course, I'll depend on you

to fill me in

on the details

of Joseph's enterprises.

I suppose they're terribly involved.

Actually not that much.

( sighs )

To sum up, Mrs. Marrable,

your husband

was not as solvent

as you probably assume.

You must be referring to

that dilapidated

apartment house he bought.

Joseph mentioned that that

turned out to be an unprofitable venture.

Yes. He disposed of that

some time ago.

Oh, did he?

Well, he wasn't always able

to keep me up on all his ventures.

His oil holdings, though,

must be doing very well.

His oil holdings

are unexercised options.

They must have some value.

Well, Joseph invested

in so many companies.

They're so numerous, I can't even

remember all the names!

Mrs. Marrable,

there are no assets,

only liabilities.

Surely you know your husband

borrowed the money

to pay the surgeon

for the last two operations,

and the hospital bill

has yet to be settled.

You are overlooking

the insurance,

which amounted to 200,000

before he increased it!

He cashed out all his policies.

Well, certainly there's the house...

with the furniture

and the rugs.

How many of these pieces

have been in Joseph's family

for generations?

They don't belong to me either.

I'm afraid not.

I have the documents here.

Of course, Mr. Marrable bequeathed

his personal possessions to you,

including his watch,

his gold cufflinks,

his briefcase

with all its contents.

He lost his cufflinks!

The watch disappeared

between trips to the hospital!

But I have his rusty dagger...

his stamp album that he

hasn't looked at in years...

and his boyhood

butterfly collection.

All this is mine, is it, to keep?

Plus the shirt on my back,

I suppose!

What am I going to do?

You must have relatives.

No. I have a nephew in Arizona-

or is it New Mexico?-

but I haven't laid eyes on him

since he was a child.

I have no one.

I'm sorry, but I'll

need your signature on these...

Nothing. Nothing.

Mr. Bentley, all I have left

is my personal savings account.

That ought to help.

To live on for the rest of my life?

It's something to keep you

going for a while.

It won't last any time at all,

and you know that,

and Joseph Marrable knew that.

How am I to live?

I'll need your signature.

What am I going to live on?

What shall I do?

What shall I do?

Your signature,

Mrs. Marrable.

( sobbing )

I'll take the flashlight.

Do we have to do it now?

Oh, yes. The soil's

too dry in the daytime,

and the hot sun

can burn the roots.

Pick that up, will you?

Uhh! Ohh!

( laughing )

( panting )

( horn honks )

Miss Tinsley.

Miss Tinsley,

will you fetch the mail?

Here's that sample of tea

you sent for.

Want it for your lunch?

There'll be

plenty of time to taste it.

Just store it for the present,

naturally

without opening the lid.

Hindus have taken

great pains to teach us

that tea loses its aroma

unless properly sealed.

( laughs )

Oh, well.

That's flattering.

I have been invited to join

the museum building committee.

Lunch is almost ready.

I have to talk to Juan first.

Has he made

one of his usual blunders?

I'll never know

why you put up with him.

Miss Tinsley.

Oh, do remember to leave

ample room for the roots.

My gardening magazine says

it never hurts

to make the hole too deep.

I make it good.

But when they bring the tree?

Well, the nursery delivers

in the late afternoon,

but as you know,

I like to attend to it myself.

You have a very green thumb.

Yes.

Your pine trees grow good.

Very good.

( laughing )

Don't spill it.

Obviously you haven't

the remotest idea

how much a bottle

of Grand Marnier is worth,

or youd be more watchful

of every drop.

Youve never tasted it,

have you?

No.

I'm afraid

I don't care for liquor.

When referring to a cordial,

we use the French pronunciation-

liqueur, Miss Tinsley.

I shouldn't try to

teach you anymore,

considering how little youve

absorbed under my tutelage.

( music playing )

Will you turn that off, please?

It's one of your favorites.

Is it indeed?

I believe we can

do without music this evening.

( turns record player off )

May I see

the financial page?

You may.

What do you expect

to find there?

Your stocks are unlisted, as they

were the day you placed your order.

But how are they doing?

Are they going up,

or are they going down?

How would I know?

Well, I thought your broker

would keep you advised.

He has more pressing business

than to render daily quotations

of your gigantic investment.

I know it doesn't

seem much to you,

but it represents my savings,

practically all of it.

It was at your request,

my dear Miss Tinsley,

that I handed your massive capital

over to my broker.

Well, yes. When you told me

your stock had doubled

and was still going up, I...

You wanted to hitch onto a star

without any awareness

of how treacherously

it can become a falling comet.

However...

no more of this.

I'll call my broker in the morning

and instruct him to sell your

securities, at a loss if need be.

Oh, no.

I can't afford that.

No, I don't want to sell now.

Don't call him, Mrs. Marrable,

not on my account. Please.

I won't, if youll kindly stop wringing

your hands over your money.

I think I'll go to my room.

Good night.

You promised to help me

plant my pine tree.

You want to do it now?

Go on. I'll join you

in the garden in a moment.

This would be much easier

in the light of day.

Well, the soil's too dry

in the daytime.

Besides, hot sun

can burn the roots.

I think this hole's too big

for that little tree.

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, what a nuisance.

My watch dropped off.

- I don't see it.

- It's over there.

Down there.

( mutters )

Ohh!

( woman laughing )

Look at Aunt Claire

charming the men.

Who wouldn't, with that fabulous

necklace you and George gave her?

I wouldn't have my own mother

to a cocktail party.

Elva, George and I are

very fond of Aunt Claire.

We know, dear. That's why you

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes