What Women Want Page #8

- Aren't you ?

Well, I was thinking about

a play on words.

Something about games versus--

I feel like

I was onto something good.

- Playing games versus playing--

- Sports ?

Yes ! Thank you.

Do you like any of this ?

A lot. I like the idea that you can

be yourself on the road.

I do too.

Did I say that out loud ?

[ Stammering ]

No, I was just--

'Cause I was circling around

the exact same thing,

-which is great, we're on the same--

-Yeah.

Sorry, I'm not thinking straight.

My glands may be swollen.

Maybe they should be more swollen.

You're doing great. Nike. No games.

Just sports.

- Oh.

- You should write that down.

All right.

Did he come up with that,

or did I ?

Boy, can I be--

What ?

Uh, well,

can I be honest with you ?

Please do.

Before I came here, I heard you

were a tough, chauvinistic prick.

I didn't know you were

gonna be that honest.

- Sorry. I'm-- Sorry.

- No, that's all right.

No, that's okay. You must have

looked so forward to meeting me.

I was dreading it. I had this whole

other person built up in my mind.

Well, since we're sharing,

I heard a few things about you too.

Yes, I'm sure. I'm the ''man-eating

b*tch Darth Vader'' of the ad world.

Verbatim.

Really ? All right.

Well, nice to meet you.

That's not who I am at all.

Just for the record,

I don't think that's who you are.

I don't.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

See, no games equals

embarrassing moment.

Don't fall for a guy at work.

Don't fall for a guy at work.

- Don't fall for a guy at work.

- Why ?

Why what ?

Why won't-- Why don't I just

work on these storyboards...

and then bring them back around

to you tomorrow if you're free.

I'm free.

Just call me anytime.

l'm flirting.

What's wrong with me ?

God ! I just looked at his penis.

I hope he didn't see me.

Oh, sh*t ! I just looked

at it again ! Stop it !

- Are you all right ?

- Fine. I got something in my eye.

Allright, um--

So, great.

So tomorrow will be--

That'll be great. I'll see you then.

- Uh, good work by the way.

- You too.

- You sure you're all right ?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Are you laughing at me ?

- Yeah.

- Good.

I didn't think anyone else

was still here.

- I didn't know anyone was here.

- What time is it ?

It's after 1 0:
00.

- I didn't realize it was so late.

- [ Thinking ] I feel so alone.

Um-- I didn't catch that.

Sorry ?

- I didn't realize how late it was.

- And I'm glad you're here.

I'm stuck.

I feel so alone.

- You want a hand with this ?

- No, thanks. I'm okay.

Yeah, I'm not buying it.

What's going on ?

Well, I have an early meeting

tomorrow with Dan,

and I wanted to make it

later so I could be more prepared.

But then you slipped in there

and took the only time he had left,

which left me with

It's fine. I'm just not

as ready as I wish I was.

- Sorry.

- You didn't do it on purpose.

[Coughs]

I just don't want him

to be disappointed.

Hey, why don't we go through

some of these together ?

- Really ?

- I insist.

- Unless you're too tired.

- Oh, no.

- I'm not tired.

- Yeah, I can see that.

It's just so far beyond

tired at this point.

I've basically stopped sleeping

ever since I took this job.

- You have ?

- Yeah, it's weird.

I, um--

[ Thinking ] How do I say this ?

You don't feel quite

like yourself here, do you ?

No, I don't.

Not yet, anyway.

Boy.

Plus, I'm mad

that I'm getting sick.

I never, ever get sick.

In fact,

you don't have to sit

so close to me if you don't want to.

No, come here.

I'll brave it.

So, where do we kick off ?

- Control-top panty hose ?

- Okay.

Personally, I think

they do the trick.

You've worn

control-top panty hose ?

- Did you put a pair in the box ?

- Seriously ?

Oh, yeah.

- You are full of surprises.

- Yeah.

No, no, no. I mean that

as a compliment. I love that.

- And how did you look in them ?

- Ooh. Hot.

My daughter and her boyfriend

walked in, and I got 'em on with--

And they said what when

they saw you in your panty hose ?

It was the turquoise Wonderbra

they noticed. Then, the nail polish.

[ Indistinct ]

[Alex] The dress

you picked out is totally hideous.

- l'm not coming out.

- It can't be that bad. Come on out.

I look like a nun--

an ugly nun.

Why ? Because it's gray ?

Gray is the new black.

If he says he likes it,

I'll die.

Okay, next.

This, I love.

Thank you.

Next.

I think this is the one.

I like that--

No, I love that.

Okay, this is it.

Let me take a look.

Yes !

I look older.

This is great.

Oh, God, I need b*obs.

Oh, I'll buy a padded bra

when he's not around.

I can't believe this is what I'll be

wearing the last night I'm a virgin.

- Or what I'll be taking off.

- [ Yells ]

- Alex ?

- Hmm ?

I wanna talk to you about something

that's pretty important.

- I've never talked to you about--

- Oh, God.

He's actually gonna try

to be a dad.

This should be hilarious.

I realize I haven't been

the perfect dad.

[ Thinking ] Understatement of the

century. Can you pass the bread ?

Yeah, sure, sure. But that does

not mean I don't have the right...

to talk to you about--

about--

- [ Clears Throat ]

- About ?

All right.

You're a young woman now,

and you may be flirting

with the idea of-of--

Having sex ?

Um, can I get a lemonade,

please ?

Well, you know, boys and girls

think very differently about sex.

My hunch is girls just want guys

to like 'em and hang out with 'em.

Whereas guys--

And not all guys, allright ?

But most guys, they pretty much

just wanna have sex.

Okay, I'm--

What I'm trying to say here is,

I don't want you

to feel pressured...

- because your boyfriend's older.

- Please. Save it.

Mom had this talk with me

when I was, like, 11.

You're supposed to have sex when

you're in love and it's special.

And Mom knows me for real

and knows my friends and Cameron,

so let's leave the parental

talks up to her, okay ?

- I promised Cameron I'd do it.

- Oh, jeez.

And also, let's not make me

part of this Nick makeover...

or whatever this new thing

you're into is, okay ?

- What new thing ?

- What new thing ?

This ridiculous new guy

you're trying to be.

Clowning around with me ?

Asking if we can make a salad ?

Watch Friends together ?

I mean, it's nuts

after 15 years of no relating.

I mean, come on.

Who are you to talk about

relationships anyway ?

You never had a real relationship

with anyone in your entire life.

Look, l'm supposed

to meet my friends.

- So I'm gonna go, okay ?

- Sure.

Thanks for the dress.

[Woman Thinking]

She didn 't even finish her lunch.

Johnny-come-lately,

giving her advice ?

- Oh, teenagers.

- I think the talk worked.

- She's totally right.

- Move on, dude. It's over.

[ Groans ]

Please.

Now you've seen how

the cake is assembled.

The next time you admire a wedding

cake, you'll be able to appreciate--

Wow.

It looks so gorgeous.

- [ Announcer ] Fit, vibrant hair.

- Oh.

I hated being overweight. I always

wanted to be thin and pretty...

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