When Harry Met Sally

I was sitting with my friend

Arthur Kornblum in a restaurant.

It was a Horn & Hardart cafeteria.

And this beautiful girl walked in,

and I turned to Arthur

and I said "Arthur, you see that girl?

I'm going to marry her."

And two weeks later we were married.

And it's over 50 years later,

and we're still married.

~ It's very clear

UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO - 1977

~ Our love is here to stay

- I love you.

- I love you.

~ Not for a year

~ But ever and a day

~ Oh, the radio and the telephone

~ And the movies that we know

~ May just be passing fancies...

Hi, Sally. Sally, this is Harry Burns.

- Harry, this is Sally Albright.

- Nice to meet you.

- Wanna drive the first shift?

- You're there already. You start.

Back's open.

- Call me.

- I'll call you as soon as I get there.

- Call me from the road.

- I'll call you before that.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Sorry.

- I miss you already. I miss you already.

- I miss you.

- Bye.

- Bye.

~ In time, the Rockies may crumble

~ Gibraltar may tumble

~ They only made of clay

~ But

~ Our love is here to stay

I have it all figured out. It's an 18-hour trip,

which becomes six shifts of three hours.

Or, alternatively,

we could break it down by mileage.

There's a... There's a map on the visor

that I've marked to show the locations

where we can change shifts.

Grape?

No. I don't like to eat between meals.

I'll roll down the window.

Why don't you tell me

the story of your life?

- The story of my life?

- We got 18 hours to kill before New York.

That won't even get us out of Chicago.

Nothing's happened to me yet.

- So I'm going to New York.

- So something'll happen?

- Yes.

- Like what?

Like I'm going to journalism school.

So you can write about things

that happen to other people.

- That's one way to look at it.

- Suppose nothing happens.

Suppose you never meet anybody,

you never become anything,

then you die and nobody notices for two

weeks until the smell drifts into the hall.

- Amanda said you had a dark side.

- That's what drew her to me.

- Your dark side?

- Sure. Why, don't you have a dark side?

I know, you probably

dot your "i"s with little hearts.

I have just as much of a

dark side as the next person.

Oh, really? When I buy a new book,

I always read the last page first.

That way, if I die before I finish

I know how it ends.

That, my friend, is a dark side.

That doesn't mean you're deep.

I mean, yes, basically I'm a happy person.

- So am I.

- I don't see anything wrong with that.

No, you're too busy being happy.

Ever think about death?

- Yes.

- Sure you do. A fleeting thought

that drifts in and out of the transom

of your mind. I spend days.

And this makes you a better person?

Look, when the sh*t comes down,

I'm gonna be prepared and you're not.

In the meantime, you're gonna

ruin your whole life waiting for it.

- You're wrong.

- I'm not wrong. He wants her to leave.

- That's why he puts her on the plane.

- She doesn't want to stay!

Of course she wants to stay! Wouldn't you

rather be with Bogart than the other guy?

I don't wanna spend my life in Casablanca

married to a man who runs a bar.

That probably sounds snobbish

to you, but I don't.

- You'd rather be in a loveless marriage...

- And First Lady of Czechoslovakia.

..than with the man you had

the greatest sex of your life with,

just because he owns a bar

and that is all he does?

Yes.

And so would any woman in

her right mind. Women are practical,

even Ingrid Bergman, which is why she

gets on the plane at the end of the movie.

I understand.

- What? What?

- Nothing.

- What?

- Forget about it.

- Forget about what?

- It's not important.

No, just tell me.

Obviously you haven't had great sex yet.

- Two, please.

- Right over there.

- Yes, I have.

- No, you haven't.

It just so happens that

I have had plenty of good sex.

With whom?

- What?

- With whom did you have this great sex?

I'm not gonna tell you that!

Fine. Don't tell me.

- Shel Gordon.

- Shel. Sheldon?

No. No, you did not have

great sex with Sheldon.

- I did, too.

- No, you didn't.

A Sheldon can do your taxes. If you

need a root canal, Sheldon's your man.

But humpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit.

It's the name.

"Do it to me, Sheldon." "You're an animal,

Sheldon." "Ride me, big Sheldon."

- It doesn't work.

- Hi.

- What can I get you?

- I'll have a number three.

The chef's salad with the oil and vinegar

on the side. And the apple pie la mode.

Chef and apple la mode.

But I'd like the pie heated

and I want the ice cream on the side.

I'd like strawberry, if you have it. If not,

then whipped cream, but only if it's real.

If it's out of a can, nothing.

- Not even the pie?

- No, just the pie, but then not heated.

- What?

- Nothin'. Nothin'.

- How come you broke up with Sheldon?

- How do you know we broke up?

If you didn't, you wouldn't be with me.

You'd be with Shel the Wonder Schlong.

First of all, I am not with you.

And second of all, it is none

of your business why we broke up.

You're right, you're right.

I don't wanna know.

Well, it was because he was jealous and

I had these days-of-the-week underpants.

Sorry, I need a judge's ruling on this.

- Days-of-the-week underpants?

- Yes.

They had days of the week on them

and I thought they were funny.

Then one day Sheldon says to me

"You never wear Sunday."

He's all suspicious.

Where had I left Sunday?

And I told him and he didn't believe me.

- What?

- They don't make Sunday.

- Why not?

- Because of God.

OK, so 15 % of my share is 90.

$6.90.

Let's leave seven.

What?

Do I have something on my face?

You're a very attractive person.

Thank you.

Amanda never said

how attractive you were.

Maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive.

I don't think it's a matter of opinion.

Empirically, you are attractive.

Amanda is my friend.

So?

- So you're going with her.

- So?

So you're coming on to me!

No, I wasn't.

What?

Can't a man say a woman is attractive

without it being a come-on?

All right, all right.

Let's just say, just for the sake

of argument, that it was a come-on.

What d'you want me to do about it?

I take it back, OK? I take it back.

You can't take it back.

- Why not?

- Because it's already out there.

What are we supposed to do?

Call the cops, it's already out there!

Just let it lie.

- OK?

- Great! "Let it lie." That's my policy.

That's what I always say: "Let it lie."

Wanna spend the night in a motel?

- See? I didn't let it lie.

- Harry.

I said I would, then I didn't.

- Harry!

- What?

We are just going to be friends, OK?

Great! Friends! It's the best thing.

You realise

that we could never be friends.

- Why not?

- What I'm saying is,

and this is not a come-on

in any way, shape or form,

is that men and women can't be friends,

cos the sex part always gets in the way.

That's not true. I have a number of

men friends and there is no sex involved.

- You don't.

- I do.

- You don't.

- I do!

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