When the Wind Blows Page #7

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No, well...

Funny peculiar, I mean.

Are they worse than the Russian ones?

Oh, I shouldn't think so, love.

I expect they're all much of a muchness.

They all work on the same principle.

It's called... megadeath, I think.

So many millions of

people dead per bang.

Any ketchup, dear?

I expect the quantity

is similar either way.

Are all the bangs about

the same size, then?

Oh, no! There's one megaton,

and 10 megaton, an' that.

It's... just a question of

how big a bang you want to make

and how many...

people you want to kill.

More baked beans, dear?

No, thanks. I'm a bit off food.

Then there's the... overkill, see?

That's where they kill more

people than they really need to.

Say you want a bang big enough

to kill one million people,

and you go and use a

three-million-people bang.

It's terrifically wasteful of energy,

in the present economic climate.

I see, dear.

Yes, there's one thing about

the present economic situation.

- I mean...

- Such a shame we can't wash up.

...in order to conserve

world energy resources,

the powers that be will only use

the smallest possible bang.

Oh, I can't bear it!

I expect that's why we're still here.

We're running out of crockery.

We could say we owe our lives to

the world economic procession.

Put the kettle on, will you, ducks?

There's no water, dear.

Oh, no, no. Of course.

Just... Just have to have milk, then.

That pint's gone bad, dear.

The fridge has been off.

Oh, heck! Well...

...a black coffee, then.

There's still no water, dear.

Well, what... What are we

going to drink, eh? Eh?

What... What... What are we

going to drink, for God's sake?

Don't shout, dearest.

I'm sorry, love.

I'm just... terribly thirsty.

How about a nice sweet, dear?

It's a blackcurrant fruit pastille.

There's only one left.

- You have it.

- No, you have it.

We'll... We'll cut it in half.

That's... That's fair.

- Help!

- I'm coming! I-I-I'm coming! I'm coming!

A rat! A rat!

A rat in the lavatory!

Eeww! I saw it!

Its tail waving in the pan!

Never mind, dear. Never mind.

No, no, no. It won't

hurt you, dearest.

The pan's all dry and its...

head was round the bend...

just its bottom end

sticking out. A tail!

Oh! A tail!

Horrible! Horrible!

There, there, dear.

Don't worry, I... I'll pop down to Willis's

in the morning and I'll get some warfarin.

At least it shows that the

drains aren't blocked.

Oh, dear!

I do feel queer!

All shaky.

Well, it's bound to upset you a bit.

The... The bomb, I mean.

Have you got... lipstick on, dear?

Lipstick?

What do you mean, James?

You know I haven't

worn lipstick for years.

- Well... your lips are all red.

- Oh!

Oh, my!

My gums are bleeding!

I thought there was a...

a funny taste.

Well Shrinking of gums, causing ill-fitting

dentures. That's... That's what that is.

Yeah... Better get to the dentist

when the emergency has rescinded.

There was blood when I went

to the toilet this morning.

Yes, yes. Me, too.

P-piles, that is. H-hovaloids.

A common complaint in...

in middle-aged people like ourselves.

I'll... I'll pop down to... to the chemist

when the crisis pales into insignificance,

and I'll... I'll get some

of those suppositories.

Oh!

Oh, dear.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Now, there, there, ducks.

There, there. There, there.

Now, now. All better now. Now, please.

Don't upset yourself, love.

Please, please. Now, don't dry.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

I expect it's due to the vibration,

you know. Like that day in the car.

You remember that time we

went to Bournemouth, hm?

And you were sick in the coach.

Don't worry, ducks. Don't worry.

There can't be anything

wrong with you.

I expect it's... it's just the...

the after-effects of the bomb.

Oh, I... I... I do...

fancy a nice cup of tea.

Do you think the cows have been

affected by the bomb, dear?

No, I... I shouldn't think so.

They're... They're all

out in the country.

Supplies of milk will be maintained.

It is... essential for the maintenance of...

healthy bones and teeth.

Yes, but we live in

the country, dear.

Yes, yes, yes, I... I know, dear.

Well, the grass is

all dead and funny.

Yes... well...

I don't know.

I expect there may be...

a temporary containment of supplies.

I suppose we'd better just sit

here and wait for help to arrive.

Yes. The... The emergency services

will have sprung into action

at the first alarm signal.

I hope they get here

before the enemy.

Oh, I... I hope Beryl and

Ron got back all right.

Oh, they'll... they'll be all right.

They'll... They'll have been safely

home long... long before the bomb.

Our Ron's... a sensible boy.

At the first siren, he'd get the whole

family down to the shelters right away.

There aren't any shelters, dear.

Oh, no.

No, no, I... I forgot.

But he'll... he'll be all right.

I gave him the governmental leaflet.

He'll... He'll be

all right with that.

That will afford him the maximum

protection available to the populous.

He'll... He'll take cover immediately

and... adopt all the prescribed

precautionary measures.

He... He's no fool, our Ron.

He's not likely to get

hot under the collar.

He... He won't go to pieces.

The whole family will...

will stick together.

Oh! Look!

There's funny spots on my legs.

They're various veins.

That's... That's what that is.

That's... That's a common

complaint amongst...

amongst the middle-aged

segment of the populous.

Oh, that's... that's...

that's nothing to worry about.

They don't look like veins to me.

I don't like the look of it.

Oh... Oh, you are... you are a baby!

You're a worn... worn...

born worrier, you are, you know.

Now, you just try and look on

the bright side, eh, ducks? Hm?

Look! Look!

I've even got funny

blotches on my skin, see?

And I... I'm a man.

Yes... Yes, too much tinned food.

That's all that is.

Yes.

Pilchards never did agree with me.

I must put some skin

lotion on those spots.

Yes. Oh, they'll...

they'll soon clear up.

I'll pop down to the chemist...

chemist in the morning.

I'll get some... get some ointment.

Yes.

We could do with some

lozenges or pastilles, too.

- I've still got a terrible throat.

- Yes, so have I.

I wonder...

if they'll be able to

sell us some water.

I'm going to have an

early night, James.

We could do with a good long

rest after that blessed bomb.

Oh, yes, yes. It's bound to take

it out of you, a thing like that.

Yeah, it's a... it's a

shock to the system.

Oh, yes. I expect so.

Oh!

Look!

My hair's coming out!

Don't... Don't worry, dearest.

Don't worry, don't worry.

Women don't go bald. No!

That's... That's a scientific fact.

Shall we get into those

paper bags again?

Well, whatever for, dear?

Well, you never know.

There might be another

one while we're asleep.

Well, I... I suppose it...

wouldn't hurt.

It... It would be a...

a sensible precautionary m-measure

in the... in the...

in the circumstances.

After all, really, this is

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