When Willie Comes Marching Home Page #5

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That's American!

- What did she say?

- Answer some questions.

- All right, but I'm no quiz kid.

Who is Dick Tracy?

A flatfoot. A cop.

A gendarme!

- What does Lone Ranger say?

- Who?

The Lone Ranger.

Hi-ho, Silver!

- That's the way you have to say it.

Who is Joe DiMaggio playing for?

This year?

Uncle Sam.

- How do the Yankees stand in the Nation-

- Who? I didn't-

- The Yankees.

- Oh.

- H-H-How do they what?

- How do the Yankees stand

in the National League?

Oh.

I think they're about

third from the-

Who are you trying to kid?

The Yanks are on the American League.

- They're neck and neck with the St. Louis Browns.

- "Neck and neck"?

Even stephen.

Tied.

- They have the same number

of games they won, you see?

- That's right.

Where do you come from, Willie?

My name is Bill.

I come from Punxatawney, West Virginia.

If any Nazi could make up a name like that,

he's on the wrong side.

- Vive l'Amrique.

- Vive l'Amricain.

- Vive l'Punxatawney.

Where's everybody go-

Uh, if I'm, uh-

Baby, this is very dangerous. You must do

just as Yvonne say. You must not doubt, just do.

- Sure. I'll do anything. Just give me the word.

- Okay. Take off your clothes.

- What'd you do with the uniform?

- We burn it.

- You got the wrong one.

- What's going on? Air raid?

- Shh. Be quiet.

Oh!

Holy smoke!

What was that?

- Nothing.

What do you mean, nothing? That thingamajig

is the granddaddy of all blockbusters!

- Hey!

Bill, you'll get us all killed.

Come on!

Those are heinies out there.

Uh, how long have we been down here?

I don't know.

Maybe four hours.

How much longer do you think

we ought to stay?

I don't know, Willie.

Maybe all night.

You couldn't have picked a more

convenient place to freeze to death.

- What's he talking about?

You don't worry! Don't you worry.

- No, no, no, no.

What's going on?

Where are they going?

- They are going to arrange a wedding party.

- A wedding?

- Who's getting married at a time like this?

- We are.

- Did you say we are?

- Yes.

- Well, not really. I mean, it's just a trick.

- I don't follow you.

Now listen, Willie.

There must have been a leak someplace because

the Germans found our headquarters.

So we cannot smuggle the film

through the underground.

- We have to let it in the open.

- How 'bout me?

- You are going to take it out.

- How?

We are going to the village.

There is going to be a wedding party there.

You and I are man and wife.

We have a lot of drink,

a lot of food.

You have too much wine.

We pretend you are drunk.

- I get it. Too drunk to talk.

- That's right.

Maybe that way, we get a pass to get

to the coast and keep our rendezvous.

- Let's go.

- Willie, wait! Do you know French song?

French song?

Yeah, I used to know one when I was a kid.

- Try to remember.

- Let me see. It was, uh-

What about, uh-

No, I'd know it if I heard it.

Um-

It's good, huh?

Ding, dong, dong

How's that?

Willie, you too drunk

to sing too. Come on.

What?

Oh!

Bill, please, you will get sick.

You don't know your boy.

I was raised on apple cider and elderberry wine.

Yes, but this wine is strong.

Back in Punxatawney,

they used to call me Bill the Blotter.

Well, thank you very much.

There's one thing I must say, and that is

the French can make wonderful wine.

- That I must say.

- Don't speak English. Be quiet.

- Cognac.

A pleasure.

Are we goin' on a picnic?

Let's take some wine.

Hey!

Where are we goin', Charley?

Yvonne! Yvonne!

You don't feel so good,

Willie, do you?

- Yeah, I don't feel so good.

- Mal de tte?

Yeah, and I got a headache too.

Shh!

Come on, Bill.

Come on.

- Now, listen, because this is most important.

- Yeah, what?

- You must take this through.

- Yeah.

- Inside the film is a map.

- What?

- A map.

- A map. Yeah.

Yes. When you get to London,

take it to headquarters. Okay?

If you don't get through, eat it.

- I don't think I can keep it in my stomach.

- Willie!

- What?

- You're a swell guy.

Come aboard, Yank.

We're late as it is. Let's push on.

- What is this, a submarine?

- Nah. Motor torpedo boat.

British.

Well, Principal Cook,

how's the patient?

- Peckish, sir.

- Peckish, eh?

- Well, just a bit seasick. Give him an issue of rum.

- Thank you. I don't-

- A spot of rum, that'll do the business for you.

I don't want any rum.

You see, l-

- What's that?

- Jerry, trying to pop us.

- But don't worry, sir. They can't hurt us.

- I wish they could.

Jerries spitting again.

That's all. Right.

From Dover, they rushed me to London.

It wasn't as bad as the Channel,

but it had a movement all its own.

- What's happened, sir? Sir?

- Uh, Jerry. Air raid.

- Who? Oh.

- All right, soldier. Let's go.

- Yes, sir.

Sit down, Marshall. Go on!

Go on, soldier. Let's have your story.

This is Sergeant William Kluggs, sir,

84th Bombardment Group.

Never mind the details!

Is this film genuine?

Yes. I saw one of those things

with my own eyes, sir.

You actually saw one in operation?

Yes, sir, I did.

Now, please, General, can I get some sleep?

George, put this film through SHAEF,

top secret. Twelve prints.

- Right away, sir.

- This man has got to get

to Washington immediately!

- I'll ship him out in a P-38 fighter.

- A fighter, sir?

We've got one rigged up

for piggyback out at Dorrell.

Tell Major Crawford he's to fly Kluggs

to Washington tonight...

and I want him airborne at 1800.

- That's an order.

- Yes, sir.

Please, General.

B- Begging the general's pardon, sir.

I've given you all

the information I have, sir.

General, sir, you don't seem to understand, sir.

I'm not a well man.

- With the general's permission, sir-

- Permission denied!

- Butch, have you any whiskey here?

- Yes, I have.

Kluggs, you don't seem to realize

the gravity of the situation.

This film is the first actual confirmation

we've had, so far, on the German rocket.

If you're telling the truth, you've seen

something no Allied soldier has seen before.

- Try a slug of that scotch.

- Well, thank you very much, sir. L-

- Drink it!

- I can't, sir.

- That's an order!

- Yes, sir.

The P-38 is a twin-engine fighter...

having four machine guns,

one cannon, extra gas tanks...

and one seat.

Rough night, eh, Kluggs?

Bad night to have to ditch.

You all right, Kluggs?

Airsick, eh?

Too bad.

I got just what the doctor ordered.

Try a whiff of this cognac.

It'll cure anything.

We made that crossing

in five minutes over 11 hours...

and I still don't see how anything so fast

could have been so slow.

They didn't waste any time

rushing me over to the Pentagon building.

- You say this girl called herself Yvonne?

- Yes, sir.

- And she was very pretty?

- Yes, sir, she was.

See if you can recognize her

in any of these photographs.

Sir, that's her.

That's Yvonne.

That would be Yvonne L'Ete,

the French singer.

One of the best

Maquis operatives, sir.

- Yes, sir. She said she was a singer.

- Ten-hut!

- Ten-hut!

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